If my Dog wrote the Dictionary
Lead. A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your person where you want him/her to go.
Dog Bed. Any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread in the guest room or the newly upholstered couch in the living room.
Drool. What you do when your persons have food and you don't. To do this properly you must sit as close as you can and look sad and let the drool fall to the floor, or better yet, on their laps.
Sniff. A social custom to use when you greet other dogs. Place your nose as close as you can to the other dog's rear end and inhale deeply; repeat several times, or until your person makes you stop.
Dustbin. A container which your neighbors put out once a week to test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with margarine wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and mouldy crusts of bread.
Bicycles. Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards; the person then swerves and falls into the bushes, and you prance away.
Deafness. Affects dogs when their person wants them in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly at the person, then running in the opposite direction, or lying down.
Thunder. A signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly, and following at their heels.
Wastebasket. A dog toy filled with paper, envelopes, and old candy wrappers. When you get bored, turn over the basket and strew the papers all over the house until your person comes home.
Sofa. A piece of furniture, to dogs as napkins are to people. After eating it is polite to run up and down the front of the sofa and wipe your whiskers clean.
Bath. This is a process by which the humans drench the floor, walls and themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently.
Lean. Every good dog's response to the command "sit!" especially if your person is dressed for an evening out. Incredibly effective before black-tie events.
Bump. The best way to get your human's attention when they are drinking a fresh cup of coffee or tea.
Goose bump. A maneuver to use as a last resort when a regular Bump doesn't get the attention you require...especially effective when combined with Sniff (See above).
Love. A feeling of intense affection, given freely and without restriction. The best way you can show your love is to wag your tail. If you're lucky, a human will love you in return.
2007-12-28 08:14:43 · 19 answers · asked by jules77 4 in Pets ➔ Dogs
I thought the thunderstorms bit was quite amusing going on the experience of some dogs I have had in the past.
2007-12-28 08:23:07 · update #1
glad you all liked it, pity they deleted my other one, never mind, if anyone wants a copy email me.
2007-12-28 08:56:13 · update #2
I haven't seen this one, very cute! Thanks for sharing!
2007-12-28 08:23:53 · answer #1 · answered by Ya 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Those are great, but you missed my favourite
Kiss. A series of licks to a human's face which results in a loud squeal from them, must be done after you have finished washing your 'private' parts, after a large drink of water or after saying Hello to the b itch down the street! see 'sniff'
Hope you don't mind me copying this as well, my sister would love it, but she's not on the web!
2007-12-28 08:52:21 · answer #2 · answered by willowGSD 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, not a stupid question! yes my dog likes my cat. They have a love hate relationship. He protects her from other cats and dogs and people. But if he thinks she needs it he will growl at her. She is a very push cat. He has never hurt her just growls when she pushes to get her way to much. Seems to be a dominate thing with them.
2016-04-11 05:54:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol, that's the best dog dictionary I've seen! It's hilarious and seems like exactly the way a dog would think. I love it! I starred it and won't ever forget it.
2007-12-28 10:26:31 · answer #4 · answered by the fire within 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Write a book. Call it the (If my dog wrote)TheDog Dictionary. It has to be in alphabetical order and as many entries as you can make relevant to dog experience. You could make money at it.If you do - remember me.
2007-12-28 08:29:15 · answer #5 · answered by coffee 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ha ha, also very true!! But you forgot one...
Carpets - excellent for scratching and itchy behind. Simply drag your bottom across the floor for instant satisfaction!
2007-12-28 08:29:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
love it. it is so true . my dog is very good at the deafness and the sofa but she usually jumps on the sofa when full of mud !
2007-12-28 08:36:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is awesome!!! You hit the nail on the head w/ the definition to thunder! LOL
2007-12-28 08:24:07 · answer #8 · answered by Jen 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
LMAO!!!! perfect in every definition,my dog definitely does the sofa part!!
2007-12-28 08:21:52 · answer #9 · answered by renee k 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think this is very cute. I like it I think it is exactly how my dog thinks. LOL.
2007-12-28 08:31:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats really neat, I love how dogs think, lol!
2007-12-28 08:23:17 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋