I have a situation I am in with a very close friend of mine. I suspect he likes me romantically but I'm not sure. I don't want to make him uncomfortable by asking him upfront. He's kind of shy about these kinds of things. I don't want to ruin our beautiful friendship by asking him if he likes me as more than a friend, when in reality he could just think I am a cool girl to hang around with. He tells everyone, including his mother, that I am his 'best friend' or that we are really close. He seems to genuinely enjoy being around me. People are starting to tease me and I am really confused! I really care about him and I am a little afraid to examine my own feelings because my heart has already begun to skip a beat when he shows up at my door or his name shows up on my phone, which has become more frequent recently. I've never been in this situation before. I really need some advice! I don't want to ruin the love we already feel for each other by confusing it for something else.
2007-12-28 07:17:14 · 20 answers · asked by Amanda77 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
One more thing I guess I can add is that he'll call me up and ask me for help with things that kind of have nothing to do with me, or when we are in a group setting, he and I have a way of communicating silently by our expressions what we think about what other people are saying or how we are feeling... but couldn't this be that he just cares for me a lot as a friend?
2007-12-28 07:37:43 · update #1
Oh, and he always brags to other people about my accomplishments and thanks me for everything all the time, does little things for me that I casually mention and forget about, and remembers everything I say. He keeps tabs on me, always being able to figure out if I'm ok or not, even when I haven't seen him in a few weeks. He can tell by the sound of my voice when something is wrong, even when I try to pretend I'm ok. I'm a little shy, too. Oh man! I think I'm obssessing. I'm just really confused.
2007-12-28 07:48:56 · update #2
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2007-12-28 18:27:42 · update #3
I was in this boat years ago.....I fell in love with my best friend her and I took our friendship to the next level.....It was a big mistake and when she broke it off I was to butt blind to understand why.....We saved our friendship and since then she met her husband and her mother set me up on a blind date the out come is now she is my wife...We each have children and she is the godmother of my youngest son.....Taking your friendship to a romantic level is a big risk....if it doesn't work out and you have a nasty break up not only will you loose him as a boyfriend you will loose him as a friend......I don't know how strong your friendship is but if you advance it to a romantic relationship it will really test your friendship...My advice is don't do it!!!
2007-12-28 07:33:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The person that you should be in love with should be your best friend. The person that you marry should be your best friend.
Being best friends is a awesome foundation of a relationship. BUT it could also ruien a friendship as well because that person your best friends with only see's what is outside, they never truely see what your really like in a "relationship" until they are in one with you. Yes its different.
I can tell you this, you need to make a hard core decision of where you want to go with this 1st and foremost before even mentioning a word to him.
if you feel that remaining friends is the best route for you, than don't say anything at all to him and just take pleasure that your best friend does love and care for you.
I have a best friend that I have known for 15 years and we tell each other how much we love each other all the time. And we brag about it to everyone, doesn't mean we want to get into a relationship with each other just means we care deeply for each other. That is what love is all about.
2007-12-28 07:34:24 · answer #2 · answered by twnmsk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him why you like him, and that you hope you will one day fall in love with a guy just like him. He'll either stop dead in his tracks, encourage the conversation, and let you know that he IS the guy you need (or tell you he's gay so you understand him better) -- OR he'll take it as a compliment, let the comment pass without much response and continue being your friend. I hope that he actually loves you, too - because your question shows how very deeply you feel for him. GOOD LUCK!
P.S. - Remember that if you stay in this "best friends" status -- and it doesn't become romantic, eventually, this guy will fall in love with someone else, and when he does, he will happily telling you all about it. Could you handle this if it happened? If so, then you are truly his best friend - If not, then you are actually a girl with a crush on him, who is pretending to be his friend in order to get closer to him. You need to do some soul searching and be fair and honest with yourself so that you can also be fair and honest with him.
2007-12-29 18:09:55 · answer #3 · answered by ceezee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK, you can find his feeling in some steps.
1. In between some conversation tell him that you have one schoolmate friend (girl) young, single and lonely and match her hobbies or likings with his and ask him if he is interested you will introduce her. Then you see his reaction. If he agrees immediately without a single thought with a happiness on his face means he is not in love with you. If he hesitate to answer you then it is sure that he has got something for you in his heart.
2. Call him in midnight and tell "I am just not able to sleep I just feel like talk to you, ok I am sorry you can sleep" see his reaction very carefully now. If he say "no problem" and talk with you happily then it is a sign of love.
3. Talk about some other boys or just say you had one boyfriend in school and make some story about him of those old days. Now see his reaction. If he gets jeolous or if he inquire more about that boy or if he tries to know how deep your relationship was. That means he is in love with you.
4. Last and final. One late night send him a message on his phone saying that "I was just wondering that are we just best friends ?" then see his response. This is the way to give him courage to talk of his heart.
Never try all these in a single day. If you have no patience then just try No.4, the last one.
Best of luck
2007-12-28 08:04:11 · answer #4 · answered by effecter 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that a lot of "Best friends" end up falling in love since Lovers should also be best friends. these relationships tend to last too since that is a very important factor when you are in a relationship. I can see what you are saying as far as finding out what he really feels. I guess I would maybe talk to other guys around him, maybe flirt a little to see if he "gets Jealous" and if he does get jealous then you will know forsure that he likes you more then a best freind or both I would say. Then it should be easy to say something to him about it and if he says he likes you more then just ask him if he would be interested in dating then. Otherwise try to get a freind of his to get some info from him w ithout making it obvious and keeping it between just you and that friend of his.
2007-12-28 07:27:27 · answer #5 · answered by jojo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Pay more attention to what he does than to what he says to you. Actions speak louder than words. If he is shy then accept him that way and know if he is honest with you. Yes hear what he says but really value his actions with you,, towards you. Strong relationships start slowly and by first being very good friends. In a long term relationship, you must understand that the friendship part is the part that will keep you together more than any are aspect of that relationship. Buiding a solid friendship takes time and patience. Continue with him as long as you feel good about yourself and about him.If he really loves you and you love him,, you will know,, believe me,, you will feel so wonderful,, there are really no words in any language and some of us know more than two or more languages and there are NO Words to describe what one feels when in real love. For now,, just let your relationship mature at his and your pace. Good luck to both of you.
2007-12-28 07:28:06 · answer #6 · answered by jorge e 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being friends first is often a comfortable way of starting a romance especially for a shy guy. There are usually indications that he is romantically interested. Things he may say or do. If not, try flirting with him, looking into his eyes to see his reaction, lightly touching his arm, leaning forward when you talk to him, flirtaceous compliments etc.
2007-12-28 07:23:03 · answer #7 · answered by ScSpec 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had almost the exact situation happen to me when I was in highschool. After 2 years or so of being best friends we both admitted our feelings for each other I felt so relieved once I did...I could not stand not knowing how he felt and wanting him to know how much I cared for him. Unfortunatly being the best friend you have to deal with the whole I want you to meet my new girlfriend thing ,and that is as far as it got with us. I think you should let him know...if he truely is your bestfriend then he will understand and who knows maybe he feels the same!
2007-12-28 07:25:13 · answer #8 · answered by klesslie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the New Years Eve thing. Ask if it would be ok to kiss him and see what happens. Also you could watch his actions and see what your gut says. Steal somthing from him and playfully wrestle with him for the item. Most the time if there are hidden feelings you can tell when you are wresting with someone. I know it sounds stupid, but you really can tell. My husband used to steal my hair scrunchies so I would fight with him....try it
2007-12-28 07:57:58 · answer #9 · answered by Jamiel L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you just listed them but that is not necessarily a bad thing. it sounds like you might feel the same way. just be careful not to rush things and miss out on a wonderful friendship. good luck
2007-12-28 07:21:04 · answer #10 · answered by ooe4eva 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋