Ok first things first. I have been dating my boyfriend for over 1 year. I love him, he loves me. We bond so well. Im 16, as is he. I dont want to have sex now, but I at times feel ready and want to, but I personally want to wait as long as possible, but in reality it wont be until marriage, not that many people do. Ofcourse I would be really safe with it, B.C, condoms and what not. I know he is a virgin too. I just care about him so much. It would never become public and what not, we have very good trust. People do not need to know my personal life. But please dont tell me I am too young, not ready, are you ready to be a mom etc. Im not ready to be a mom adn I know that. That is why I would be really reallly safe. I just want to know how I should know if I am ready or not. Please give me helpful advice. Thank you.
2007-12-28 06:18:32 · 42 answers · asked by Marr 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Like I said I am NOT planning on doing it soon, but if the relationship stays good, I may consider it, I used to think that I wanted to wait until marriage, but I just dont think that NEEDS to happen, depending on the situation ofcourse..
2007-12-28 06:21:00 · update #1
If you have to ask, you're not ready.
2007-12-28 06:21:29 · answer #1 · answered by Lil 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"I'm not ready to be a mom and I know that". Then avoid sex. There is no "safe way" to have sex without risk. Teens are curious about sex and your hormones are telling you to reproduce. Society has learned how to cheat mother nature by using birth control: We get the pleasure without all the risk and responsibility of children. So since you don't want to have children yet (meaning you want only the pleasure), masturbation is the best alternative, either together or separately. You may not realize this, but adults do this---a lot! If you haven't already, you should get to know your own body and find out for yourself how sex is supposed to feel. The truth is that a 16 year old boy is usually inexperienced at pleasing anyone but himself and while "in the act" is thinking of everything BUT "safety". But no amount of advice will help you: Make your own choice and live with it. You'll only know later if your choice was a good one. Good luck.
2007-12-28 06:43:10 · answer #2 · answered by Friend to Evel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are willing to give this person so much of you, then I'm guessing you've both committed to being together FOREVER right? Do you believe that this person deserves the best and you likewise? After minutes of self-gratification, ask yourself if you really think that you would have made you relationship any better. Then think about the risks, even condoms are not 100%. You said that " I don't want to have sex now" - then don't ... wait. Honestly, with most people not waiting for marriage doesn't mean that you shouldn't, go against the crowd you wouldn't be the first. And ff he's as great as you make him sound he'll understand. Wait till your married hon.
2007-12-28 06:30:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think there comes a time and you just know. you're right in this day and age, most people don't wait. Because you are thinking this out it shows that you truely understand the outcomes of sex. The only thing I would recommend is talk to your boyfriend and have an honest conversation about your relationship. Tell him how your are feeling and find out how he is feeling. Once you are both ready, make sure you have been on the pill for at least a month, in order for it to work and always use a back up.
2007-12-28 06:26:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You either are or you aren't. It's not a spur of the moment thing but a real elevation of a relationship from maybe to yes. Be careful, though, because once the step is taken, many relationships become just about sex, where before the relationship had spark and excitement and wonder, now there's sex and the anticipation of sex and when will we have sex again and boy isn't sex great and would you like to have sex (is all that ever goes on after the first time). Keep it level and talk to him. He might not be ready though you are...
2007-12-28 06:24:16 · answer #5 · answered by Goethe's Ghostwriter 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The two biggest things I can offer are: maturity and a commited relationship.
There is an intensity to sex that most kids completely miss; a spiritual quality. They get all fired up about the wonderful physical sensations and don't realize there is so much more to it.
Sex is a part of and a reflection of a commited relationship. Anything else is just masturbating using another person's body.
So, how do you know? When you're out on your own and confidently standing on your own two feet, and when you're in a commited relationship.
2007-12-28 06:24:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I knew I was ready for sex when I was in a position to take care of a child if I were to have one. No birth control is 100%. Also, I was with a man who was in the position to take care of a child. One of the things that I always thought about before I had sex was what I would have to sacrifice if I got pregnant like college, traveling, independence,etc. I waited until I already had fullfilled those dreams.
2007-12-28 06:24:41 · answer #7 · answered by Leaf 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good girls don't do sex until marriage. There is no such thing as "safe" sex. All it takes is one "oops, the condom broke" and the rest is history. Don't do it. When a guy does not have a commitment (through marriage) it is easy to "taste the pie, drink the free milk and go to the next pie.". Believe me I had more pies than I care to think about. I too had my first girl friend so madly in love with me and I thought I was with her. But once we popped our virginity, hey, I liked it so much I moved on.
Masturbation releases pinned up frustrations and over anxiety until you two get married.
Talk with Mom. How did she deal with it? Best source is right there in your own home. Talk to her.
2007-12-28 06:27:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well waiting until marrige is possible. I know, I did it. I got married when I was 18 almost 19. =)
And you know your ready when you don't feel the need to ask yourself, "Hey, am I ready to do this?"
And I do think that you are still very young. Honestly, I know that I wasn't ready at the age. When you start having sex, your relationships change. And you have risks.
2007-12-28 06:25:38 · answer #9 · answered by <3 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are asking the question, you are not ready. You are ready for sex when you are ready and capable of handling the consequences; having a baby (even with a condom, it happens), getting angry with each other and having the details spread all over the school (even when you "bond so well").
It is a good question to ask yourself and if there is any doubt, then you are not ready.
2007-12-28 06:25:31 · answer #10 · answered by Wiz 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have the birth control covered and you hve a solid truting relationship and you feel ready, you probably are. But if anything happened, such as birth control failing, you have to be prepared for the consequences. It's rare but it happens, if you have sex you risk getting pregnant although the chances are obviously very slim with properly used protection. Only you will know if you are ready though, and if you're asking, you're probably not
2007-12-28 06:23:31 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋