Magic Joke!?

Question

a magican was sawing his new assistant in half, when:

she asked 'what happened to your old assistant'
he repiled 'she now lives in London and Manchester!'

Answer 1

marvellous joke.
old assistant was cut in two- 1/2 lives in London & other 1/2 in Manchester.

Answer 2

ha ha ha here is one.....
A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: "You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increases as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!"

So, a woman goes to the store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign reads: "These men Have Jobs". The second floor sign reads: "These men Have Jobs and Love Kids". The third floor sign reads: "These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking."

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

At the fourth floor the sign reads: "These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework."

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads: "These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak." She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads: "You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store."

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a New Wives store just across the street. It too has six floors. The first floor has wives that love sex. The second floor has wives that love sex and have money. The third through sixth floors have never been visited.

Answer 3

Funny! 8/10!

Answer 4

I dont think its too funny but Stinkeh is cuz she doesn't even know that she's in the Jokes and Riddles category!

Answer 5

Very good. Bet she wished she had asked the question before he started sawing her in half!!!!!

Answer 6

Oh come on Jon, I know you can do better than that!!! That joke is older than you are... I'll be waiting for the next one to be better...xoxo

Answer 7

Oh Jon ! You are not STILL sawing girls in half are you?
Happy New Year.

Answer 8

that sucks for the old assistant

Answer 9

wow thats almost twice as funny as the last one you told

Answer 10

That's so hilarious! One star for that one!!!