Loving Retirement...... Star if you like please ;o )?

Question

Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are retired. Mrs. Fenton insists that he go with her to Wal-Mart. He gets bored with all the shopping.
He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Fenton loves to browse. Here's a letter sent to her from the store.

Dear Mrs. Fenton,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban both of you from our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below.

Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse was shopping in Wal-Mart:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest-rooms.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and said in an official tone, "Code 3 in housewares"

5. Aug 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. Sept 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Sept 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. Sept 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him , he begins to cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. Oct 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.

10. Nov 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where to find the anti-depressants.

11. Dec 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. Dec 6 : In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Dec 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. Dec 21: When an announcement came over

the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

And last, but not least ...

15. Dec 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey, There's no toilet paper in here!"

Answer 1

oh i loove that!! im sensing some fun for my next wal mart trip!!! ******

Answer 2

LOL! Some of these can also be used as pranks lol I'll have to print this and keep it as reference! lol Now read mine see if you like it...
A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: "You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increases as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!"

So, a woman goes to the store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign reads: "These men Have Jobs". The second floor sign reads: "These men Have Jobs and Love Kids". The third floor sign reads: "These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking."

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

At the fourth floor the sign reads: "These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework."

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads: "These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak." She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads: "You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store."

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a New Wives store just across the street. It too has six floors. The first floor has wives that love sex. The second floor has wives that love sex and have money. The third through sixth floors have never been visited.

Answer 3

That is so funny,
reminds me of one of my embarrasing trips to Wal-Mart. Involves a 16 year old me, my crush, a box of condoms, and an uncomfortable run in with our youth group leader.

Answer 4

LOL. LOL. I Love This! LOL.

Kudos! ...10*...

Great joke!

Thanks for the laughs! Have a great evening!

Answer 5

The last one was good... not bad overall... i starred you before i typed this... that meant good... and, i'm gaining my 250th point from writing here! this is very very good... i'm now a level 2! XD yay!

Answer 6

Lol I like the last one especially.

Answer 7

LMAO the first and last were funny!!!

Answer 8

gud thoughts

Answer 9

i work there and that would be sooooo funny if it really happened!!

lmmfao!!

Answer 10

hahahahaha
superb
star