Do homeschoolers really "attack" naysayers?

Question

One person responded to a question with something about being "attacked" for her own question.

Yet, this very person called homeschooling "ridiculous"--isn't THAT an attack?

Another person posted in the parenting section a week or so ago about "why are homeschoolers so defensive?" Well, when people spout INCORRECT things like, "They don't get social contact," and "You're doing a disservice to your kids" and omg, some of the horrible things that have said in the past that definitely constitute an attack, of course people are going to defend themselves.

Perhaps the better question is: do homeschoolers attack naysayers any more than they attack homeschoolers?

Answer 1

Well, I have never seen a HS parent answer another parent's questions about lifestyle or public schooling with insults. I don't hang out in other YA sections to slam other forms of education. I've never seen HS students or parents criticize anyone's decision not to homeschool. I've never heard them refer to public schooling as cruel or the public schools students as socially retarded. I've seen HS haters say all of those things in their answers.

Answer 2

I *try* to respond in the same spirit in which I believe the question is asked.

If it seems someone is truly seeking information ... I do my best to give a truly thoughtful and helpful answer.

If the question is of the Same Question Different Day variety (socialization, getting into college, parents are not qualified, etc.) then I will sometimes answer tongue-in-cheek or ... yes ... sometimes defensively.

Where did the idea come from that "being defensive" in response to an offensive question or statement is necessarily a bad thing? It is a natural and often times correct response.

I have never "heard" a homeschooler "attack" a naysayer here on Y!A unprovoked. Even questions like yours that *might* be viewed as an unprovoked attack are (almost?) always follow-ons inspired by other Q&A.

***UPDATE:

Mostly what I see are answers that correct misconceptions and intentional mis-characterizations - not attacks. It is the rare exception to post a question and NOT get several of the one or two line homeschool slams.

Answer 3

Someone e-mailed me on Y!A the other day and accused me with a lot of inaccurate statements about what I do and do not teach my kids. Bear in mind, outside of Y!A this person does not know me at all. They had no idea what I actually do teach my kids, or how much outside contact my kids have, or if I ever have a tutor, or anything really.

I responded by saying politely that I become angry when people assume to know what I do, rather than ask what I do, and that I would appreciate it if next time they would ask, rather then "tell" me how I homeschool.

The person replied back again saying I was too easily angered and that I had attacked them. Funny, they initiated the contact with an accusation, yet my polite reply was somehow an "attack".

I don't let it bother me anymore, but I know what you mean.

Answer 4

The point of it IS there should be no attacks.

The United States Government and most Universities agree homeschooling not only works but works better than the public system.

ALL homeschool materials are first rate.

They are all written PH Ds in college teaching there and doing research.

At least TWO states are now doing accredited On Line Virtual Schools (distance or from home education) and each year more and more established brick schools are offering Long Distance courses.

Eventually you will be able to get a History BA from Harvard without every leaving your home in Hawaii

Now, as for the attacks this is scaring unions and teachers and school districts who forsee canned education replacing live in the room education for the masses and yes that is possible!

As a result the unions do what they always do. Get baseball bats, bricks and beat heads.

That's how every union deals with strike breakers and scabs.

And it is the unions that are insighting this, because the powers that be find Homeschool works.

And that bugs them.

They want it to fail, but it's not failing.

We went from less than 1% in 1980 to 8% in 2008 in the US alone.

It is estimated by 2020 15% or more American will homeschool and by 2050 30% or more will homeschool.

It is estimated by 2012 most of the states will have virtual school programs free to their residents

It's cheaper than building schools and since it's working and popular, why not cut your expenses down and save the tax payers some money.

The problem is the need for teachers will diminish.

Well, we don't need people who build TV sets anymore in America, we don't need people who make steel anymore in America, we don't need people who do telemarketing in America anymore.

I am told that the IRS is now outsourcing on line income tax returns to India for processing.

I guess teachers are just going to have to accept their fate. They are either giong to have to design BRILLIANT software and on line programs or find a real job out there.

Answer 5

There are times we probably do, at least a bit...but that is in response to really ignorant, and often condescending, questions (such as the one that whined about being "attacked").

If a person asks a question in a snide way, I will often respond in a snide way. I personally don't see this as attacking...I see it as cause and effect. However, I haven't seen any of us (us meaning homeschoolers) "attack" a person who asks an honest, respectful question.

However, I do see a lot of people, who pretty obviously know next to nothing about homeschooling, come on here just to state how "cruel" homeschooling is, how ignorant we could be to think we could teach our own children, and how stupid and socially retarded our kids will be. Those, I categorize as "attacks". Unwarranted, unresearched, and unnecessary attacks.

In answer to your second question...no, definitely not. There are times that we will shut down a really ignorant question, but I haven't seen homeschoolers go on the "attack" on here very often. Occasionally someone has a bad day and responds a little too harshly, but on the whole, I think we reserve snide answers for snide questions.

Answer 6

I have to agree w/ you. I have been attacked on YA and in real life for homeschooling my child, but I am just doing what I think is best. How can someone who knows nothing about homeschool attack me for that? So as for your question, no I don't think homeschoolers attack naysayers any more than they attack us. In fact, I think naysayers attack homeschoolers more & that is why we have to respond the way we do. It's soooo frustrating when people make rude comments about something they don't bother to research! People have done that w/ my sons medical condition & it really irritates me because they want to tell me how to deal w/ it when they don't bother to research it first or have never spent a day w/ it! How can you criticize someone about something that you really don't understand. How does that saying go? "Until you walk a mile in my shoes......."

Answer 7

No, I don't think they attack, although I do detect frustration and annoyance in responses at times. In my mind that is 100% justified given how MANY times the same insipid questions are asked.

I will say that I enjoy reading responses from you and some others who are very well spoken. It helps me sharpen my own responses to real life people (and on other internet sites) to read the well thought out responses, links and so on.

I also assume there may be a large group of non-posters out there reading responses and gathering information because they are thinking about homeschooling. It is for those people that I often write the patient, here we go again response to the same old, same old !

Answer 8

Thank you for addressing this.

When I went to ask a question about a homeschooling issue, I was attacked pretty badly from people who don't believe in it. I specifically addressed my question to the homeschooling crowd. Why were people who aren't homeschoolers even responding? They were putting me down for my decision instead of minding their own business. I don't go in their sections and tell them they are wrong for putting their kids in public school. It's like they find enjoyment in disagreeing with people rather than finding a section where they can encourage someone. I am not angry posting this, but it definitely is something to be addressed. People would be a whole lot happier in life if they lived to encourage, not bring others down.

Thanks for letting me post this and I appreciate your input too. :o)

Answer 9

I have seen some very mean answers from people here who probably do not know much about homeschooling, calling homeschoolers bad names and so forth.
But I just try to ignore it because I know that what they say is not true. I do not think homeschoolers attack others, at least I have not seen it done here.

Answer 10

I know what you're saying. I'm not even homeschooling yet(unless you count helping child to learn to walk, etc) and I told a couple people that I intend to homeschool. I got a lot of people saying how I shouldn't lock my child in my home and that they won't get social contact, but I know I will be taking them out and letting them get involved in activities and other things that go along with their interests. I get annoyed when people tell me that it's a bad decision because as far as I'm concerned it's the best choice.

I would rather teach my child(ren) at their own pace and according to interests. I would rather also that my child get to know how to get along with people of all ages, not just their own age. I could go on but you get the point....

Answer 11

Oh, I definately attack some.

If a person can't spend 5 minutes with google to find out their working with stereotypes or can't be bothered doing a minimum of research before forming an opinion I really don't think they'll post a question that's worth a calm and respectful answer.