Ok I am trying to date this woman and she keeps saying "I'm busy" and it is really bugging me because we seem to like each other pretty well.
In most cases I take "I'm busy" as the same thing as "not interested" and I usually just say: "Call me when you are not 'busy' and I am moving on." Then I just move on and never call said woman again.
However, this particular case has me rather perplexed! In this case it seems like "I'm busy" is NOT the same as "not interested" because we are still talking, still laughing, still getting to know each other, still liking each other more and more.
What is going on here?
2007-12-28 05:32:12 · 40 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Maybe she enjoys your company and is afraid that a change in the relationship would change the friendship that the two of you have.
2007-12-28 05:36:26 · answer #1 · answered by jwbovftn9d 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually "I'm busy" means "I'm not interested".
Does she have a lot going on in her life just now? Is the timing just bad for a relationship for her at this time? Is her "I'm busy" specific or general. If it's a general "I'm busy" then I'll stand by the polite blow off. If it is specific, "I'm sorry my mother is in the hospital dying and I have to visit her." Then she's unavailable for a relationship just now but she is interested.
You've been getting to know her, so you should be able to answer these questions. If it's just that things are crazy in her life just now and she doesn't have the time or energy for a romantic relationship, then just be her friend and wait her out a bit. If it looks like whatever is taking up her life right now is going to hang around for a while, then you have to decide how long you are willing to wait before looking for another romantic partner. If you move on to someone else romantically, I would recommend you try and keep the friendship, because it does seem that she values that. But if you aren't able to remain just friends with someone you have romantic feelings for, then it would be alright to leave the friendship.
2007-12-28 05:45:13 · answer #2 · answered by Invisigoth 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can't say what's going on there, but I'd treat it as you do the others. If she's always claiming to be busy, then make sure she has your contact info and tell her to call you when she's not busy...then move on.
She may call, but there's no point waiting around and passing up other opportunities in case she doesn't. Besides, if she really is THAT busy, how's she going to work in time for a relationship? (I'm going through something like that myself...he claims to be interested, but too busy to give me the time of day...I'm over it).
2007-12-28 05:37:38 · answer #3 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she is a little shy and wants to get to know you better before you go out. She could be telling you she is busy because she may have issues where she has been burned by men in the past and she wants to make sure you are worth her time and energy. There could be many factors to this. My advice is just be patient and see how it progresses. If anything sounds like you will get a good friend out of it either way.
2007-12-28 05:37:30 · answer #4 · answered by Zach 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she maybe going through a bad time like a family fight or a friend died. ask her if thats it. or she still hurts from a recent break up.
if not she probably just wants to be friends and take it slow.
invite her to see a movie with some other people-her friends and a few of urs- do something with other people so it wont seem like a date.
wen shes comfortable ask her agian but do a double date-just make sure it's not a guy she may have a small crush on- and go to her favorite place-even if its expensive.
p.s. dont just keep asking over and over.
if none of that works act like your not interested so maybe she'll ask u.
good luck :)
2007-12-28 05:41:35 · answer #5 · answered by Texalaska 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She likes you but she is not attracted to you. You've fallen squarely into the friend zone. Any effort you make at this point will make her value you more and more as a friend, and make it less and less likely that she will want to risk jeopardizing said friendship by pursuing a romance. Your better bet at this point would be to start moving on. If she is on the fence about being attracted to you, this might snap her into action and see you as a romantic target. If she only wants you as a friend, then you really haven't lost anything (except the potential of a friendship, which, based on your question, would be an inadequate booby prize). Good luck.
2007-12-28 05:38:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think she values and respects you as a friend, and for now at least wants to leave it at that. Finding a girl you can be comfortable around is really important. Just be her friend for now, she's obviously not perturbed or frightened by you wanting to be more than friends, so she still values your company. In time, maybe you guys will be more, but don't force it. You have a golden opportunity to learn a lot about women and dating and preferences and expectations just by being her friend. You'll learn a lot more than you would if you keep trying to date her. If she is just not ready for a relationship yet, just be patient, and she'll come around in good time. If she just isn't into you that way, she can probably hook you up!
2007-12-28 05:38:22 · answer #7 · answered by Dan in Real Life 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she is trying to get to know you from afar before she actually commits in to doing anything with you. Have you ever thought maybe she is truly really busy? Maybe she just has a busy life and the time you're getting is going to be it until she can work you in somewhere else; maybe when she feels like she knows you better. Good Luck!
2007-12-28 05:37:21 · answer #8 · answered by Tina T 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"I'm busy" may be code for "I only see you as a friend". I think you should ask her since you seem to have a good friendly relationship with her. Just ask her if saying "I'm busy" means she is not interested in dating you at all or if she really is busy. Good luck! I hope she's just busy this time of year!
2007-12-28 05:36:14 · answer #9 · answered by lilwecky 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She might be really busy, or she might be lying her azz off.
Women have that luxury, they think it's their right to lie instead of just being straight up with you.
Wait for her to tell you. You might speed it up if you talk to about it with her and ask. That doesn't work on some women, they'll pretend that everything's okay, at least until they can get you to spring for a couple hundred more dollars in gifts and stuff. I've gotta go - I'm feeling sick.
2007-12-28 05:39:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
um she's busy? or she has a relationship already or likes someone else? Just keep hanging with it and see where you guys go. If she seems like she gets uninterested latter than gradually stop hanging out with her because there are always more fish in the sea! u seem like a smart guy! Follow ur heart!
2007-12-28 05:38:30 · answer #11 · answered by Just Breathe. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋