I don't know what the correct ettiquette is. I don't want to appear uncaring, but I don't know anything surrounding the circumstances other than that, and I don't want to reopen old wounds with the family either.
2007-12-28 05:21:53 · 7 answers · asked by Scotty Doesnt Know 7 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Please please go ahead and write a note. Use the website below as a resource.
Too often the family of someone who killed themselves is left with silence more than any other kind of death.
You won't be opening or reopening old wounds, anyone who has experienced the death of a loved one knows that the grief evolves over time, but the sentiment of your card will be meaningful to them.
2007-12-29 04:09:00 · answer #1 · answered by doublewidemama 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They would appreciate hearing from someone who cared enough to express condolences at their loss. You won't be reopening old wounds - they will be dealing with this loss for years to come whether you send a card or not. I think it would be a nice and caring gesture and I would definitely send at least a card if you don't feel comfortable calling them.
By the way I had a similar thing happen to me, I was visiting family graves in a cemetary when I happened to glance upon the headstone of a good high school friend that had recently died. I could not rest until I learned what happened to her. I found out she had been a teacher, and when I called the school they told me what happened and plus gave me her husband's phone number. I called and expressed my condolences to him a year after she had died, because I had just found out! (I was living out of state at that time.)
Trust me, it's never too late to remember someone.
2007-12-28 06:11:45 · answer #2 · answered by Kiwi 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would to show that the person that they loved mattered to you. They will appreciate you taking the time to acknowledge his/her life. Let them know that you just found out, maybe you could share a funny story about their lost loved one or an experience that you shared.
In no way do I think they are over it and with the holidays I am sure it was a really rough time for them. I wouldn't worry about reopening old wounds because they will never truly be healed. Sometimes it is by remembering that we learn to cope.
2007-12-28 05:36:52 · answer #3 · answered by jerzybuckeye 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can always say, "I just learned of your loss. Please accept my condolences and know that you are in my thoughts during the holidays."
This type of "wound" will never truly heal - but in the case of suicides, many people are afraid to offer their sympathies in case they say the wrong thing. A lot of people say nothing as a result, leaving the family feeling judged and hurt.
They will appreciate your kind gesture.
2007-12-28 08:06:36 · answer #4 · answered by T. B. the Wise 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would. It is better that the family knows that you care. Open old wounds? Trust me, it is still a fresh wound and I am sure that they would appreciate your condolences.
2007-12-28 05:30:29 · answer #5 · answered by aDORAble 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my personal opinion, I'd just let it go unless you see them in person. My mother died a little over two months ago, and I know that when someone expresses their condolences to me (after a period of trying to heal), it makes me sadder.
2007-12-28 05:38:23 · answer #6 · answered by Yeah. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it's a little late. I wouldn't say anything unless you see them in person. They're probably trying to get over the grieving and it would just rehash it all
2007-12-28 06:25:15 · answer #7 · answered by amt 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋