2007-12-28 05:19:46 · 18 answers · asked by jennilaine777 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I am not running around giving "thumbs down" to any questions. I haven't been on the page since I asked the question hours ago. What a rediculous assumption. I'm asking in all honesty. I figured I shouldn't, but I'm still wondering. You are a yucky person.
2007-12-28 12:25:22 · update #1
no no no wait until u return ~~~~~~~~~~~
2007-12-28 05:24:00 · answer #1 · answered by ladysosureone 6 · 1⤊ 6⤋
Emily Post, Martha Stewart, etc., say you should NEVER include registry information in your wedding announcements / invitations anyway. The fact that some people do anyway is a source of shame for the etiquette gurus.
But, for other reasons, I think that it's REALLY tacky to send registry info with an announcement. If I got an announcement (not an invitation) with a registry I would feel like I wasn't important enough to be involved in the wedding, but you'll sure as heck shake me down for a gift. If I just received an announcement, I'd be happy for you and go hunting for a registry (either online or by calling your parents / best friends).
So, I think you'll have more luck if you register but don't include the info. Maybe instead of doing the typical fill-in-the blank announcements, send something more personalized - like a quick explanation for the elopement and maybe a photo. It will get the friends and relatives feeling sentimental for you and they'll be more likely to send stuff. A registry card would be a turn off, I think.
EDIT - some people say that it's tacky to even have a registry. I disagree with that. There's no harm in making a list of stuff you need / want for your new home. I just think it's tacky to include the information about your registry with your announcements like an itemized list to Santa.
2007-12-28 15:14:44 · answer #2 · answered by exhaustedtraveler 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The bride/groom should NEVER send out registry information. It shows you are only interested in presents.
By the way, if you are eloping, what makes you think people will give you a gift anyway? I sure wouldn't. If I'm not invited a to a wedding, I do not send a gift. Sounds like you want the best of both worlds - no fuss over a wedding, but all the presents you can gather in.
2007-12-29 01:21:09 · answer #3 · answered by oldernwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not - its just too tacky and will seem like you are only announcing your marriage because you want stuff, not because you want to share your joy with others. Even if you weren't eloping I'd say the same thing, btw.
If you have set up a gift registry then pass the word along through your family and a close friend or two.
A friend of mine recently eloped and I still got her and her new husband a gift - so you might get some, but don't be too upset if you don't get any. Some (very shallow) people think that they need to be entertained and fed for the "price" of their gift. I bought the gift for my friend because I was so happy for her and wanted her to know.
Good luck and congrats!
2007-12-28 14:36:29 · answer #4 · answered by Mirage 5 · 8⤊ 1⤋
In my mind, I wouldn't expect to give a gift to anyone if I didn't attend the wedding or the reception. Since you're eloping and people won't be able to attend your wedding, personally I think that including detail about a gift registry will seem greedy. I would leave it out. If people want to give you gifts they will.
2007-12-29 04:45:18 · answer #5 · answered by drshorty 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A million times NO! Especially since you're not even having a ceremony. That's basically saying "We're getting married but we don't want the big ceremony or anything, but send us a present anyway". Nothing about gifts should ever be mentioned in an invitation or an announcement. It's extremely tacky and completely goes against all etiquette.
2007-12-28 14:47:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
My spouse and I went to Las Vegas to get married, just the two of us and a witness. We picked a female witness off the street in Vegas (she was inquiring about how to get married) and she was honored to be our witness. We had a blast and didn't break the bank either. We actually paid off the wedding, flight tickets, car rentals, hotels, etc in less than a month.
Only my parents and sisters knew about us getting married in Vegas prior to us getting married and they accepted it very quickly. After we got married, we informed my husband's family. They were disappointed because they wanted to come to the wedding but it was our wedding and they got over it and accepted it.
We didn't ask for any wedding gifts. Since it was only the two of us, it didn't make any sense to send out wedding announcements to ask for gifts and not invite people.
Maybe y'all can elope first and then plan to have a big party at your house or at a picnic celebrating the new couple (you and your new hubby), then you can send out invitations for the party. People will end up giving gifts that way. Hope this helps.
2007-12-28 14:31:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 1⤋
When you elope you're on your own, people give and send gifts because they are invited to a wedding( dinner, dancing)...When you get back, if you want to send an announcement that you have been married on such and such date that would be acceptable, but it is definitely unacceptable to put any information about a gift registry, gifts would be given at your friends discretion....
2007-12-28 14:14:32 · answer #8 · answered by mj 4 · 7⤊ 1⤋
Personally, I think it's a little tacky.
You didn't think enough of these people to invite them to a wedding, or (by definition) announce to them that you are getting married, so to skip that step and straight ask for the gifts is a bit much. I'm not trying to be mean...do your thing...but eloping by definition is secretly going to get married (I don't understand what announcement you're sending out if you're eloping). If you didn't think I (as a close friend or family member) was important enough or close enough to tell me about such a huge event like a wedding, or invite me, then I wouldn't send a thing, regardless of how many places you registered.
2007-12-28 13:29:46 · answer #9 · answered by jdm 6 · 14⤊ 2⤋
I wouldn't send out any information about a gift registry when you elope. If they aren't attending the wedding it is rude to ask them to give you a gift.
2007-12-28 14:12:52 · answer #10 · answered by Hawai'i 4 · 9⤊ 1⤋
It is never appropriate to mention gifts on any sort of announcement or invitation. Sorry. It just looks like you're asking for gifts instead of sharing your news.
2007-12-28 16:13:38 · answer #11 · answered by T. B. the Wise 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋