I'm always in a dilemma whether to help or not to help. I have an adopted sister who has betrayed me and my mom a number of times.. totally no sense of gratitude. She used to stay with us before but she stole my money and ran away. Now my niece and nephew are living an uncomfortable life. They moved to 3 different houses in 2 months, don't have enough food and school supplies. I told the kids I will help them as far as food and school stuff are concerned. I feel terribly sad that my nephew needs to repeat kindergarten because of their tumultuous life and lack of money. What's your take on the this? I can't have the kids under my custody coz their mom won't allow that ever and I don't want to help my "ex-sister" financially coz she needs to learn a lesson or two.
2007-12-28 04:39:28 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Doesn't sound like your almost-sister is much of a mother. I suspect that if you and your mother wanted to, you could have the kids put into your custody. Whether you want to go through the hassle of involving the courts, I don't know. But do help the kids to the extent possible, even though it takes some of the responsibility off their mother. Better that she should get a minor fringe benefit than the kids do without.
Always makes me feel bad to hear stories like this, because it raises a conflict between two of my most important values: doing the best for the children, and keeping them out of the hands of bureaucrats and authorities.
I worked for a superior court in California for awhile, and I know that so-called "Child Protective Services" is not very effective, and can often do more harm than good. But kids don't deserve such a vagabond, unsettled existence, either. Good to know they have a golden-hearted auntie anyway. (Golden-hearted aunties are important, aren't they? LOL)
2007-12-28 06:49:04 · answer #1 · answered by auntb93 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The children shouldn't suffer because of their mother. If you can help and you can do so without simply giving money, you should decide if it's worth it to make the effort. It sounds like you want to help the kids with food and school, and that's okay, though I'd recommend you lean toward the school supplies - if you do too much, you'll just be allowing their mother to continue to be irresponsible.
2007-12-28 05:03:59 · answer #2 · answered by Spartacus! 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Revenge is certainly not the answer with such kids...
You should perform your good actions and leave rest on the almighty to decide what is results for you. He who thinks of results before doing action is not right !! Help to anyone who is in need & this is your own relatives-family. You have to forget what your sister did and start thinking what you can do for the kids. Just think about being good.. returns will be much more than your imagination !!
2007-12-28 15:40:25 · answer #3 · answered by hot sexy lips 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's never wrong to help children. You don't need to give your sister money, but if you wanted to, you could provide the children with school supplies, love, attention, and an understanding ear. Your love and attention will give them more than money ever could: a sense of self-worth and self-esteem. I honestly hope things work out for you and those poor kids.
2007-12-28 04:44:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
No, it's never wrong to help kids. The more love they get the better. But don't go so far as to do for them what their mom should be doing, to the point where it helps her out. She needs to learn responsibility. Not everyone had a great upbringing, including myself, kids are tougher than you think.
2007-12-28 07:01:53 · answer #5 · answered by I, Sapient 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is NEVER wrong to help children and I am sure you can do this without giving Mom money. I hope you will help them all you can and if she continues the way she is going she may not have a choice on where the children go.
2007-12-28 04:53:12 · answer #6 · answered by misselie1 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think helping the kids in the way you are doingit is right. You can't help the sister because that will just feed the monster. Help in ways that benifit the kids but not the sis. What you are doing is honorable.
2007-12-29 06:13:29 · answer #7 · answered by Magic Mouse 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's never wrong to help children in need. You may have issues with their mother, and may not want to help her, but it's not the kids' fault that their parents aren't trustworthy. It sounds like they need as much support as they can get. You are a wonderful person to come to their aid, Miho. Do so without regret.
2007-12-28 20:24:34 · answer #8 · answered by Chris C 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The kids are innocent. And with a mom like that, they need all the help they can get. Just make sure you keep giving them stuff and attention and not cash.
2007-12-28 05:00:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is not wrong AT ALL! You should help your niece or nephew because they REALLY need it! Even tho your sister won't give you custody to her children...you could go to court to see who really is the good person...and with your sister situation...she should go to charm school.lol =)
2007-12-28 04:46:40 · answer #10 · answered by Gracieღ™ 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋