Q for Muslim man only........?

Question

ok I want to know ( as a Muslim)what would you do if on your wedding night your wife turns out to be not a virgin?
honest answer please.

well, someone close to me got married and it turned out that she is not a virgin, so of course he got mad. and did not want to expose her to her family and everyone around her, so he told her that they will stay married for a month then they would get a divorce. and that’s what happened a month latter he divorced her.

i said only muslims please.

wht iz diz, if your talking to me I am not going to report you, I have never reported any one, this is your opinion you think what you want to think, but you have to have some respect for girls . not all girls are what you say.

Answer 1

now iam worried about that problem!!!

thank u!!!

now i can't sleep!!!
ohhhhhhhhhhh
a hope that does not happen but i think i would still marry her

Answer 2

I will answer this question from more than one dimension:
1. Whats the proof that she was not virgin, was it reliable. Some times the cultural means of knowing whether the girl was a virgin or not after the first night, are not scientificlly acurate
2. Did the girl admit to him.
3. Divorce is not liked by Allah. Was sex the only reason why this couple got married, if he saw something islamically good in this girl he can focus on that.
4. If the girl admits to not being virgin, and she has repented, then its upto the guy to forgive her.
5. Was she confronted as to why she did not inform him before marraige.
6. Last but not the least : Sharia`h wise, virginity is not a requirement or a condition of marriage, Prophet Muhammad`s first wife was not a virgin. So shariah wise this is allowed.
But if the girl is of a bad character, or was of a bad character then it needs to be verified .... cos if u read surah al noor (the incident of how the rumours were spread about hadhrat Aisha, nd how Allah ordered people to fear Allah when blaming righteous women of zina) you will know that this is not a light issue.
At the end its really up to the boy.
Your advice to him should be : Divorce is disliked in islam.
Be fearful of God when associating zina to her.
Virginity is not a condition for marriage.
Allah does encourage men to choose good and righteous wives.

Make a balanced and Just decision.

Answer 3

Obviously I'm not a man but what I want to know is how exactly he knows she wasn't a virgin? Did she tell him after they were married? If she admitted it then I find it understandable that he would be upset. If she did not admit it then how then did he know? It is a proven fact that many women break their hymen (lose their virginity so to say) by many different activities such as hard physical exercise, riding bicycles, horseback riding, trauma to the private area, etc. And while also it is a wide spread myth that women should bleed the first time they have sexual intercourse, this is not true, it has been studied and many many women do not bleed their first times. So with that said unless she admitted it he canNOT be sure if she was not a virgin.

Answer 4

i wouldnt get married right away i would get engaged with her first that way we can get some tests done like for stds and all that stuff and we can get to know each other legally not dating and if the only way you can really tell if she in not a virgin is if she has some disease or something othervise so many virgin girls use tampons and then those have the sam result as you know...and if i find out she is not a virgin i would cancel the wedding cuz im living a very halal life even though i live in las vegas and alot of my school friends are christian and are into drugs and sex and everything that is haraam and i am working so hard just to go to school and come home no talking on the phone no parties just so i can have a better future and if she doesnt respect that then she is not the one for me

Answer 5

I know and such incidents do take place quite often now. But I read somewhere that a girl can loose her virginity if before getting married she gets heavy menses, or those girls who are in sports, they sometimes loose their virginity by over bleeding. some ladies hymens can get
removed without having had any sexual intercourse: a jump can be the cause as can be the finger or the intensity of menstruation period, …etc. If any of the above is the cause of her deflowering then she is considered virgin in reality and judged as such. So, no importance for not seeing blood at the first corporal contact and this does not mean anything.

this doesn't mean they aren't pious.
it should be noted that in principle a Muslim is innocent [until he/she is proven guilty] so it is not permissible to accuse him/her of fornication directly or indirectly, Allaah says (which means): {Verily, those who accuse chaste women, who never even think of anything touching their chastity and are good believers, are cursed in this life and in the Hereafter, and for them will be a great torment.}[Quran 24: 23]. Alaah further says (which means): {O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin.}[Quran 49:12].
So, once again;it should be noted that a woman could lose her virginity because of other reasons than fornication. She could lose her virginity by the flow of the blood of her menses or by a sudden jump, and the like.~!

Answer 6

I'm not a Muslim man -- but I just want to advise any woman who is marrying someone and saying that she is a virgin but isn't, to be honest about this before the wedding night, to avoid a disaster and heartbreak.

However, there are surgical procedures which some Muslim women have had to restore their "virginity," usually after they have been living in the West for some time and are returning home to be married...

Answer 7

Are you trying to get a reaction on the virgin issue or on being deceived. Virgin or non Virgin is not as much of a problem as being lied to, I guess no man Muslim or not would be happy with that. As I woman I would not accept being deceived either.

Answer 8

Don't think I'd care all that much.

Not like it changes their personality or anything.

If they lost it during marriage, totally fine, if they lost it as adultery, I imagine I'd be a little sad, maybe even not trust her as much, but it's not the end of the world.

If it was adultery, people will most likely say "People make mistakes", well I honestly see that as a pretty dang hard mistake to make..

Edit: If she lied about it, I'd probably be very sad, and wonder if I could even trust her at all, because like Nick said, it's like cheating, and I hate cheaters with a passion... But if we didn't talk about the subject before marriage, then I would only care if she did it outside marriage..

Most people would get pretty mad, well anger doesn't solve anything, it just makes matters worse, and if you're sad, at least you have someone there to comfort you.

By the way, I'd never divorce on something like that.. In fact I'd never divorce for anything..

Answer 9

Well if u have strong faith in God, that God is Most Equitable then don"t bother. See Quran 24:3. If u find out she is not a virgin, ask yourself, are you? Leave it to Him what has passed, she is the chosen bride for you and God knows best. Go on explore your new life as spouses.

Answer 10

well sister if i know that in my wedding night that my wife is not virgin. so i well be so so sad.... but i won't say nothing to her or some body else i would get anther married. but InshaAllaha i am sure that i will get virgin one.

Answer 11

I would bath her and keep her as my wife For The CREATOR ALLAH Says Whom ever hides an ill deed or mistake of another ALLAH Will Forgive Them Of Their mistake or ill Deeds! P.S Men are also supposed to Guard their Virginity till they marry the right Woman no sleeping around for either!