My boyfriend and I have only been going out for a month or so and I'm totally ready but at the same time I DO NOT want to lose respect or anything. I have known him for 7 years and we've remained friends. But I really need your opinions because you people are probably more experienced and know whether or not it could ruin anything.. Thanks so much.
2007-12-28 03:21:41 · 38 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you're questioning your judgement, then you shouldn't be doing it this soon.
2007-12-28 03:25:29 · answer #1 · answered by Sunday's Best 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
A month of dating is not enough time to be sure that you want to have sex with someone, especially if there is a question in your mind that it might "ruin things."
Sex is so exciting in the beginning of a relationship - the mystery of it all! But really, you guys have the rest of your lives to have sex - there is no rush! Plus, the first few times aren't really all that great anyway.
I know thats cliche to say, but certainly waiting another month or 6 isn't going to hurt, if you look at the big picture. You will appreciate waiting longer when maybe things don't work out like you thought they would.
And if things do work out, and this guy is the "one" then those few months you waited to have sex will have been forgotten 20 years from now.
Best of Luck!
2007-12-28 03:33:27 · answer #2 · answered by lyndsaym2003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends how old you are and in what country you live (laws vary), there may also be a moral issue here, depending on your religion. Provided the law in your country permits at your age, that you are of an age where you can make sensible decisions and you can live with whatever decision you make without suffering guilt then it may be alright to go ahead. But first ask yourself why you are going to have sexual intercourse. Is it because you just want the experience? Are being pressured into it by your boyfriend? Is it because you feel you are suffering peer pressure from friends? Or, is it because you see this as another expression of your love? Most of all are his reasons the same as yours? Whatever you decide, it is your decision what to do with your body and the freedom of it you wish to give to another. You have to live with the consequences so don't make the decision lightly. If you decide to go ahead, use protection - not just to prevent pregnancy but against desease; also, whatever you do choose the right place and the right time - a quickie on the backseat of a car or in the bushes may be exciting when you have more experience but it is not to be recommended for the first time.
2007-12-28 03:36:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you might have been friends for a while but you have dated him too little to actually understand what his intentions are. But if you feel ready and want to do it just make sure you protect yourself. Now if you want your relationship not to be ruined I would really advise you to wait some more time, until you realize that your relationship with this guy is ready to be taken to the next level. Don't rush into anything and take it slowly, think in all the consequences. If he dumps you or get mad because you don't give him sex, then he's not worth your time as a boyfriend.
2007-12-28 03:31:09 · answer #4 · answered by Ecuanena 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he knows what type of person you are, then he wont lose respect for you if you two do decide to have sex. If he's known you for seven years then he should know what kind of person you are. He may not know you sexually but a guy can tell a lot about a girl who carries their self in a respectable manner. If you think you're ready then do it, but if you have to second guess it..then maybe you're not ready.
2007-12-28 03:28:24 · answer #5 · answered by suitt05 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The relationship *will* change when you two have sex. That's not good or bad, in and of itself, but you need to be ready for it.
Sex is a tiny piece of a long term relationship, but it can have huge effects depending on what meanings you two give it.
I strongly urge you two to talk about it. Agree whether you're going down that path just now, or waiting. If you agree to introduce physical intimacy, talk about it's role in the bigger picture of your relationship - what is your purpose in having sex? What do both of you want from it? Are those goals compatible?
2007-12-28 03:27:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you've known each other for 7 years and decided it's the right thing to do to be in a relationship and are happy, I'd say go for it. But, it can change things, but if you plan on staying together then it shouldn't change in a bad way, but a more progressive way. It's the next step if it's what you believe in.
2007-12-28 03:26:24 · answer #7 · answered by Casie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I certainly don’t think it’s time for you to have sex with this guy. I understand your relationship with him, and that you feel like you’re ready. But I’ve never heard anybody look back on a failed relationship and say, “I wish I had had sex with him sooner.” Even if it’s the worst extreme, and he gets tired of waiting and you guys break up, you’ll know that he’s not the right type of guy for you. Relationships aren’t about sex – they’re about the connection that you guys have had for the last 7 years. Give your heart to somebody who values it more than your body, and save your body for your husband.
2007-12-28 03:55:40 · answer #8 · answered by Greg K 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would wait. If you have to ask this question you have serious doubts. I dated my b/f now for 7 yrs we were befriends for 4 before we got together . you have to wait and see if this new relationship is what you both want. Once you step over to the other side there is no going back. Think about it.
2007-12-28 03:32:10 · answer #9 · answered by Seeking Knowledge 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion sex complicates a relationship. Although if you think its the right choice just go on ahead and do it? Do you really know this guy well. Hope all turns out okay. Don't forget the glove.
2007-12-28 03:28:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A month? Thats WAY too soon in my opinion. Wait til you're married or you'll break a commandment. Never have sex before you're married
2007-12-28 03:28:45 · answer #11 · answered by amy b 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋