Telling your vendors it's a party or family reunion instead of a wedding?

Question

I'm not planning to do this but I have heard this suggested many times as a way to cut costs. Are there any disadvantages to it? For example, the vendors getting pissed off when they find out they find out it's really a wedding and then giving you bad service because of it, etc? Do they really think that weddings need to cost so much because of a handful of high-maintenance brides and thus assume that everyone is the same way? From what I have seen, family parties are inexpensive but many wedding vendors charge more for wedding "extras" that a regular party doesn't have which they often won't take off even if the bride doesn't want them "because you can't have a proper wedding without it".

Answer 1

I would tell your vendor it's an "event". Don't call it anything specific. Order what you want from them. Call yourself the "event planner". Tell them straight off you were given a specific budget, and you don't want any extras that weren't specifically ordered by you. If they give you bad service because you were explicit, shame on them. Drive a hard bargain on the price... "Wow, that's a little pricey. Is that the best you can do? I hate to ask, but I'm on a really tight budget. We love your (food/service/whatever) and really want you as the vendor. Are there any extras you've put in there that we can remove in order to get the price down just a tad?".... you get the picture... I wish you a ton of success with this, and ultimately a beautiful wedding. :-)

Answer 2

Hmmmm

I read this as well somewhere when I started scouting websites after we got engaged a few weeks ago. One of the stories I read was about a bride to be calling the limosine service to get pricing and it was ridiculouly more expensive when she ccalled back and said for a wedding. The owner added that wedding packages include complimentary items taht the regular service doesn't so that is why it is more pricey. I guess he doesn't know what complimentary means LOL.

I'd try it just to get quotes for starters and see how much more they're going to charge you. I don't see how it is much more work than any other event only a wedding planner would tell you that or a wedding vendor. The only time it is more difficult to do a wedding than any other event is when there is a Bridzilla then I could see why they'd charge you that much.

Other than that it's just ridiculous, that's why I'm opting out for the catered wedding and getting married in Las Vegas at one of the hotels chapels. This way I don't have to pay for everyone else to have a good time and if they want to join us they can and if they don't too bad.

Answer 3

I wouldn't lie to a vendor. How can you expect their best work when they don't really know what they're providing? You may well get charged more for a wedding, but in many (dare I say most) cases, the expectations are higher, and the emotions are often higher, making it a more difficult job.

And, get a backbone. If you don't want the extras, then don't get them and don't pay for them. If the vendor insists on a package deal, then go find another vendor who will be flexible. You're nobody's hostage unless you choose to be.

With that said, we looked for a photographer who specializes in corporate event photographry rather than wedding photography. We didn't want the photographer to be around all day, taking what I think are ridiculous photos of the bride getting dressed and applying makeup and putting on her shoes. We wanted just a few hours of her time for some posed family photos, photos of the ceremony and a few candids at the cocktail hour. Friends and relatives will take candids at the reception. Being a corporate photographer, that's exactly the kind of thing she does, her fees were much less than a traditional wedding photographer, and we get what we want. But, we didn't lie to her about what the event is. That wouldn't have been fair to her.

However, we're not telling the restaurant that we're having a rehearsal dinner. We'll be doing the rehearsal elsewhere and then just having a group dinner at a restaurant. We'll rent out a private room so that we can make thank-you speeches and hand out presents without disturbing other dinner guests. There's nothing different about that dinner than if it were just a large group of friends going out together, so I'm okay with not explaining its purpose. But, I don't know how you do that to a reception venue or a DJ or a photographer. There are definitely things they do differently for weddings than for other events.

Suck it up and pay what it costs. Negotiate. Shop around. If you can't afford the whole enchilada, then scale back the wedding, but don't lie to vendors and then expect them to pull it off without enough information. That's unethical.

Answer 4

I heard that too but I decided to be honest with my vendors. If you give yourself enough time to plan before the wedding you can shop around for the best prices. It might be more expensive than the same event labeled as a "family reunion", but I don't think I could keep that charade up for too long! What if you want to order a bouquet from your florist and engagement photos from your photographer? I would think that someone would eventually figure it out, and if I was a vendor I would definitely be annoyed.

Answer 5

I remember reading this as a tip, too- for instance, when booking the reception site, book it as an anniversary party, not a wedding, because the same event will be much cheaper if it's not a "wedding." I never understood how you could realistically pull this off- if your reception site doesn't think it's a wedding, how are they going to provide the extra services you need for a wedding? The DJ is certainly going to know, when you tell him to please introduce the new bride and groom, and the photographer will know when he sees you in a big white dress!

I think this is one of those suggestions that sound good on paper but doesn't apply to the real word.

Answer 6

I wouldn't tell the vendor it's a family reunion.

If you did this with a photographer, you wouldn't be able to plan out all the pictures you really want (you getting dressed, the groom getting dressed, your families, etc).

Plus, I think the vendors actually have to do more work for a wedding than a normal event. This is why the prices are higher. And as for the "extras," stand your ground and negotiate what you do/don't want. If they want your business, they'll fold.

Answer 7

I'd be interesting in hearing how vendors respond when told "It's a wedding, but we don't want any extra wedding related frippery -- just treat this as birthday party or an awards banquet." Any vendors out there care to comment on what exactly it is we are paying extra for when we pay the higher price for a wedding package as opposed to birthday package?