My best friend thinks kissing is no big deal?

Question

I know this isnt a mental health question, but i think the answers the people in this section are more sound and intelligent. my best friend broke up with her longest bf of 2 years about 3 months ago. she was really sad and it hit her badly, which is how anyone would be in that situation. we just got into college (we are 16). i noticed this really hot guy and we had a lot of eye contact, and i thought maybe something would happen. he would approach me, but i realised whenever he did he would be a little too touchy feely (put his hand around my waist, carress my shoulder etc). i also heard rumours that he was trying to get with other girls, and that many other girls were interested in him. so i lost interest, because a player isnt my type of guy. then my best friend phones me and says she likes him and he tried to kiss her. i told her that he was slightly flirtatious and i didnt think he had the right interests. she got mad at me and ignored me, and i didn;t know what to do becayse i knew she wouldnt tell me about anything else that happened with him if i was pesmistic. so i shunned my previous feelings aside,

and i tried to be enthusiastic about it, because i still wanted to watch out for her because i knew she was still hurt about breaking up with her old bf and might have been a little blind because of that. she tells me she's met up with him, and acts natural about it. i knew things were still slightly cold between us, so i talked to her and when we got closer she said that she'd kissed him loads of times. and i said i was happy for her and i said so when you next seeing eachother and she goes it isnt a relationship she doesnt think it will happen. im just suprised she's allowing the guy to use her like that?! am i being too old fashioned? i told her that i dont just kiss a guy like that and she went 'i only kissed him i didnt give him my bloody soul'. should i keep warning her or should i like she says liven up a little??

Answer 1

You are a true friend!

All you have to do is mention that you think he is a player, but say it in a way where she can still turn to you if anything happens. Dont be serious. When something does happen and goes wrong, you can say to her I TOLD YOU, but in a comforting way. This will Build trust for next time.

She is 16, and it is fun for her, especially if he is good looking, you know he has no respect, and so does your friend but she still wants a piece of him.. let her! Just make sure you are always there!

I think you're a good girl! I'm 18 and I've been through it all, kissing is bad, but at the time you just want one thing and don't think about anything else

take care chick!

x

Answer 2

It sounds like you are jealous. You wanted him first and when you didn't make a move back. She ended up doing what you wanted to do, but didn't have the guts to do. So what if she has been kissing him. It's not your bussiness anymore. College is college. Be her friend and stay out of her love life. If she wants your opinion then she will ask. Yes, it's harsh. But it's true. Get on with YOUR life and find someone new to crush on.

Answer 3

For some people kissing isn't incredibly personal (I think it is though). For some people they have their own ways of dealing with break-ups and quite frankly I think she may be using his willingness to be so intimate against him as a type of rebound.
I think it's good you are looking out for her, just in case she's hurt over this, but it could blow over faster that it hit.
Let her deal with it unless you feel she really needs you. You're being a good friend to her so just stick around.