shes extremely clingy to me when ever she comes down to visit she grabs me does what ever she can to be with me its makeing me really uncomfortable im 17 so i think u can see why ive asked her to stop but she only got sad and walked away what do i do
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2007-12-28 01:46:00 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i understand that but she trys to be physical with me if u kno what i mean i have to completely avoid her then
2007-12-28 01:51:06 · update #1
ive always looked out for her and protected her from uneccarsary garbage like her brother beating on her and **** reason i kno she has a crush on me its because she had her diary open in her room lol 10 pages with my name in it -_-
2007-12-28 02:01:27 · update #2
I was going to tell you that you need to let her down gently because, right or wrong, you're her ideal of what a man should be, so you need to let her down with kindness.
It is your added comment about her trying to get physical with you that concerns me. Is she trying to touch you sexually? That's not normal for an 11 year old. Girls who have been sexually abused, sometimes the only way they know how to relate to a male is sexually. It may well be a sign that she has been molested and she needs help from a mental health profesional. If she is living with her mom, and her father is your step dad, it could be that she is currently being molested by her step father or mom's live-in boyfriend? Pedophiles do seek out single mothers because they can get access to her kids. Talk to your parents about this if this is the case.
2007-12-28 01:57:49 · answer #1 · answered by Damocles 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Explain to her very clearly the reasons as to why not. After tell her not to be sad but that you see her as your sister and nothing more. Make sure that you are in a closed room so no one can hare you this way she wouldn't be embarrassed and this will force her to listen and not to run away or walk away. Also if you have a girl friend you use that as an excuse too. She is only 11 and this is just a crush I promise she will get over you. Good luck!
p.s. don't do anything to lead her on.
2007-12-28 02:04:15 · answer #2 · answered by care 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't know it's a crush, do you? Maybe she's just really lonely or needs someone loving in her life. She's a step sister, so her original family broke up somehow???? While she was young...
She may have a crush on you, in which case sit her down quietly and tell her you want to talk to her. Tell her "Sweety/peanut... (some sort of nick name or her name)... I want you to know that I love you. You are an important part of my life.... We will be brother and sister for ever, no matter what happens, and you can always come to me. I also want to explain to you that brothers and sisters love each other, but not like boyfriends and girlfriends, and not like mommies and daddies. So we can hug and stuff, and I'll play games with you sometimes, but I want to make sure that you understand that I will have girlfriends and stuff, and I don't want you to be hurt and angry. So... lets be the bestest of friends... and have fun together when we can... I'm sorry I made you sad. I don't want you to think that I don't love you... I just need us to spend some time together, and some time apart. OK?" and see what she says.
She's got a little broken heart in there, and she needs affection... just make sure to make it clear that she's FAMILY....
Do try to spend time with her. I know it can be hard because you are 17 and she's 11... but it's important for her emotional development. The impact of her not having loving relationships with her family can mean that as a teen she will turn to drugs or early sex as a way to find acceptance. She will also be less discriminating about friendships, and will be more needy.... She could wind up with lots of problems far bigger than wanting to be around her stepbrother...
Take care, use your judgement... and remember to think of her as a little person who needs help navigating the world. You cared enough to do this post, so I believe you care enough to be there for her rather than to ignore her.
Just set boundaries and everything will be wonderful...
2007-12-28 01:56:11 · answer #3 · answered by Twice as Nice 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have a family meeting.
What is the state of her mind psychologically? She is *just* learning about her sexuality and what gets attention from boys. SHE needs attention and some education: but you are not the one to do that. That would be her parents' job. Talk to your parent so this doesn't end up with YOU being the bad guy because she didn't get the attention she wanted (lying is always a problem with teenagers and pre-teens protecting their ill-behaviour) Being straight forward with your parents will show responsibility on your part and give you more credibility than her.
2007-12-28 02:01:49 · answer #4 · answered by Xanadu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can do something with her and let her hang out with you for a bit (take her to the mall perhaps?) and eventually she will realize that you two live in two different worlds and will lose interest. I had a stepsister who was like this and once I took her to the mall (PC Game shopping), bookstore (sci-fi/fantasy books) and some other places, she realized that her "awesome kool older stepbrother" was kind of lame and did not want to play hopscotch, or ride rides in the park all the time etc.
If that does not work, talk to your parents and explain what is going on and what you have done.
2007-12-28 01:52:05 · answer #5 · answered by yogurt777 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thumbs up to "Mike".
This doesn't have to be a big, unpleasant scene. But you do need to talk with your parents about it. Your step-sib did not grow up with you and so does not have any of the taboos in place about no romance with family members. On the one hand, it's sweet that your little sister is dotty about you. On the other, a crush may create a situation that looks really bad.
Work with your parents to create a way where your sis can express appropriate affection instead of raising eyebrows.
2007-12-28 01:52:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello wake up! Its time to talk to the parents, this is not normal for a 11yrd girl. Literally tell both parents in detail what she is doing and saying and that this is no right and yiur feel uncomfortable about this. Keep away from her period. Sorry to say this sister of yours needs help. tell your parents either they get her some help or you cannot continue to live in the same household as her. I am proud that you said something about this. Think if anyone else would see this they would think the worse of you or even acuse you of doing something inappropriate with her.
2007-12-28 01:54:02 · answer #7 · answered by beliz 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Of course talk it out with mom and dad, but she'll get over it like any 11 year old gets over a crush. She's 11 and has NO idea what she's feeling. Now if she was 22 I'd really worry.
It'll work its way out of her system.
2007-12-28 01:51:23 · answer #8 · answered by theresa_uop 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You just have to keep doing what you are doing. I would say something to your family and let them know you dont like it.
So tell them at times when you want to go to your room, then that is a sign that you want to get away from her.
Okay so you added more - it seems you feel she wants to get physical with you - then that is a different story and you need to keep pushing her away and yell at her to STOP and then you need to tell your parents when it is happening and what has happened.
Stay in your room away from her or go to your other parents house.
2007-12-28 01:51:18 · answer #9 · answered by sammy3256 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My father is an OB/GYN and normally has 12ish 365 days previous pregnant women as his sufferers needless to say there is a few thing no longer suitable right here. exchange into this rape? if so, touch the police ASAP. If no longer, she particularly needs to communicate to the father and mother. the place the heck are the father and mother???! First she needs to tell them, and the three of them might desire to communicate strategies (keep, abort, placed the youngster for adoption). 2nd, the father and mother might desire to communicate on your sis approximately waiting. no longer inevitably for marriage yet waiting till you're older to have intercourse, and the repercussions of intercourse (no longer in basic terms being pregnant, yet threat of STDs, attractiveness going downhill). scientific care may be mandatory actually, i detect this somewhat pretend..why? nicely as a results of fact it is not generic habit and particularly behaviour normally linked with sexually abused babies..your sister and fogeys particularly must have a kinfolk communicate
2016-10-09 07:33:12 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋