I have been good friends with this guy for 8 yrs. We've always had a thing for each other but due to other relationships weve never acted on it. Recently though while he was deployed in Iraq, we started some sort of online realtionship talking everyday and decided to try something when he came home. When he got home things seemed to be going ok. We had sex right away for the first time shortly after he retuned. The problem is that while it was nice, it was very quick. I felt really awkward around him and we avoided each other for about a week. When we finally met up again, everything seemed back to normal and he told me he had been avoiding me because of what happened and he felt weird. Well we ended up doing it again that night, and again this time, it wasnt any better! So now things are back to being awkward again. I really care about this person and would like a relationship, but dont know what to think. Is he just using me or does this sorta thing really bother a guy that much?
2007-12-28 01:33:13 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It sounds to me like he has been away for a long time and hasn't "gotten any". This would account for the quickness. The fact that it is awkward is probably because he is feeling inadequate about not being able to last. Men don't like to have long phone conversations let alone "chat online". They tend to not like typing. The fact that he did with you tells me that he was and probably still is interested.
Try being honest with him and talking about the sex issue. Explain that you understand that he has been away for a long time and that you expected it to be quick the first couple of times, but that you know the more time you spend together getting to know each other and exploring each other, the better it will get. Ease his mind and stroke his ego. He'll come around. If he doesn't, then you will know that what ever he felt for you is gone and you can move on knowing you did everything you could have.
2007-12-28 01:41:37 · answer #1 · answered by Antonia F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like this guy really values your relationship, having sex changes everything. It probably frightens him. It may be that hes afraid of what will happen in the future if it doesn't work out. It is a strange felling going from good friends to bed Buddy's. I think you should ask him if he is afraid of losing the friendship you have. Good luck. I hope you find the answers your looking for.
2007-12-28 09:45:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my dear this happens when a guy has been away in iraq and has not been that active so do try and understand him sit down and talk to him about anything ask him about his time in iraq make him feel comfortable and you will see if you show interest in his way of life the the more you will learn about him and you will be more than just friends a relationship is not always about sex its also about understanding each other.
2007-12-28 09:40:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is difficult.
Are you close enough to him to discuss the sex issue?
If not maybe you just need to go back to being friends until you can discuss it. If the sex starts off substandard it rarely improves.
2007-12-28 09:43:00 · answer #4 · answered by pinky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
with some guys it is like that, what he needs to be taught is some foreplay so that you are satisfied also
i suggest you go to the library and find some books on the subject maybe with pictures . it may be embarrising for you both but you need to sit down and relax and read the books together and learn good luck
2007-12-28 09:41:25 · answer #5 · answered by Sunny 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you can answer this question.My opinion
will be all guessing,that not fair to you nor him.
don't forget people returning from Iraq has other
issues to deal with,please take that into consideration.
Mohamed
2007-12-28 09:39:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
try asking him out again and see how things go then you might have a better view to carry on or give up :]
2007-12-28 09:37:03 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What he has been telling you is not true.He is using you for sex and nothing else.Just dump him.Forget him completely.He isn't the only guy left on earth for you.
2007-12-28 09:43:49 · answer #8 · answered by bikashroy9 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u want to take decision by ur own.it is your life & u only know that guys better,either no 1 know.....bye take care.
2007-12-28 09:38:50 · answer #9 · answered by shafique 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋