How do you handle potty training a 3-yr-old who holds themselves on purpose?

Question

I have a 3-yr-old boy who has not taken well to potty training. I've noticed that when I put him on the potty chair he purposely holds himself, that is refuses to release his urine or poop. Finally after 30 or so minutes when I put his pull up on he will go in his pull up. My question is how do you handle a child who is refusing to release their waste. I've also tried putting him on the toilet and he does the same thing. Please help. Thank you.

Answer 1

It helped my son to potty train standing up: not only did he want to be like his father, it also helped for him to see what was happening and connect the sensations. He used The Potty Stool http://www.thepottystool.com This stool makes every toilet kid-sized. He could easily stand at the toilet (or sit) safely and securely. My kids immediately climbed up on this stool and were very interested in using the toilet. I was shocked how easy potty training was for him.

The handles and sides make all the difference! My son and daughter felt very secure and the sides makes them feel comfortable and closed in when they use the toilet.

My kids like to use what they know mommy and daddy use. And it really is wonderful having your kids independently use the toilet on their own. The best thing is children use this stool for years. Hope this helps you.

Answer 2

I have three children and the best advice I got on potty training is to let it happen. A friend told me not to push it and one day it will just happen. It absolutely did with all three. Infact, my three year old last week decided she no longer wore pull-ups to bed and has not had an accident since. If you make it a battle of wills, they will win. I am not suggesting that you completely ignore potty training, but don't push. Let your son decide for himself it is the right thing to do and the right time to do it. My goodness, I can't imagine making my three year old sit anywhere against her will for 30 minutes let alone on the potty! Totally not worth the fight. Good luck.

Answer 3

Just let it happen. Kids are not going to do this until they are totally ready. I tried the sitting on the potty until they go thing with my older son and it NEVER worked. Then I put him in underwear and ending up throwing away about 12 pairs in the end. With my younger son, he stayed in diapers until he told me he was ready - one day he woke up and told me he wanted to go in the potty and he never needed a diaper, nor had an accident, again (he was one month over 3 years old).

The best advice is definitely to lighten up. The kids feel your stress and will stress themselves. My older son would hold his stool because of the making him sit on the potty thing. This in turn impacted the stool and made it hard to pass, which resulted in him not wanting to go potty and hold the stool again the next time - an obviously unpleasant vicious cycle. Let them do things when they are ready and it will be easier on the whole family.

Good Luck!

Answer 4

Hmm.

Well, I"m no expert, but I'd either put him in there (if you know for a fact that he has to go and is holding it) and say, "I love you, but you can stay here and think about this, and come out when you've gone in the potty." And watch him, not literally, but watch the door. Don't let him come out, till he's gone. Kinda like making sure your kid stays on the "naughty chair" the full punishment time....same type of thing. They may get really pissed and upset, but if they understand that you love them, then they will give in and "get it" and he will go.

Or you the fruity creative way....if your son responds well to role play and his imagination responds to something like this...which many children do. Use these dolls to relay the fact that he has to go to the bathroom in the toilet.

http://www.uncommongoods.com/item/item.jsp?source=family&itemId=16430

Best of Luck to You.

Answer 5

Don't put the pull up back on him. eventually he will either use the potty or wet himself, which he will not like, then he will use the potty

Answer 6

I bribed mine with hot wheels cars. Everytime he 'went' in the potty he got one. Everytime he 'went' somewhere else he had to give one back. Lighten up.

Answer 7

put regular underwear on him. when he goes in them, make him clean them and himself. you supervise and make sure he does it good. it will get messy and not be pretty, but it worked for mine. it might take a few days so make sure you have that much time. and the whole time he's cleaning himself, keep telling him that if he just went in the potty he wouldn't have to be cleaning himself. he will get the idea.