my daughter is still having a hard time adsjusting to her biological dad whom she hasn't seen since she was three and now she is six. she cries and screams and yells that she doesn't want to see them. i have to carry her to meet him because of a court order. she inisists that he hates her and i haven't had the heart to tell her that he has two boys and a wife. when she was three he was married and had one child but she doesn't remember anything from three years ago including him. he wants to meet her with his parents and wife.when i was pregnant with her for the first six months of her life he ignored her then he became a part of her life. when she was three we had a huge argument and i broke off contact with him and we moved out of the country don't live n the USit is my fault that she hasn't seen her dad. recently i was in court and the judge demanded that he be allowed to see her or i lose custody I am also afriad that we will end up arguing in front of her. we can't get along
2007-12-28 01:09:51 · 7 answers · asked by Hmmmmmm 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
once we saw him at the park. he was a few feet from us and neither of us new the other person was there. he was kissing his wife while there kids played near by. they were all playing together and looked like one big happy family. my daughter reconised him from a picture i had shown her and started to cry.
2007-12-28 01:15:55 · update #1
she always believed my husband to be her father. when she is with us it is just him,her,my adopted niece and me
2007-12-28 01:35:04 · update #2
my parents told him where we were
2007-12-28 01:35:53 · update #3
he never wanted me to have a child she was unplanned
2007-12-28 01:39:38 · update #4
it is up to us however to arrange a meeting
2007-12-28 03:53:40 · update #5
i know he didn't hurt her physically i just think this is alll to overwhelming to her. by the way his kids are 4yrs and 1yr
2007-12-28 04:12:48 · update #6
my parents told him where we were
2007-12-28 04:14:58 · update #7
Well you need to talk to her father and let him know that when she is in ya'll presence, yall need to act civil to each other. Let him know how she feels about him. It is only normal that she is acting like this, this man is a complete stranger to her. She will come around. Don't bad mouth him in front of her and ask him to do the same about you. This will cause her to see how you really feel about him, and might cause her to feel the same way.
2007-12-28 01:14:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like her seeing him is a new thing. It may take some time for her to get used to him. Remember that although it is hard (and not trying to be insulting) this is a consequence of your decision to not allow them to have contact. I think by being positive about the situation no matter how she reacts it will eventually help. Also, if you can be with her and him during some of the time it may help. When you don't know what else to do you can pray. God knows more than all of us. He will send a way or an answer to you if it's his will.
2007-12-28 01:43:10 · answer #2 · answered by periwinkleme 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Thats a very hard situation. Why dont you let him come to your house, or meet somewhere, and you both are there. Take her to a park or something like that. or do something where all 3 of you are involved. If she sees that you trust him, then she will also trust him. It might be awkward for you, but in the long run it will benefit her.
good luck
2007-12-28 01:16:09 · answer #3 · answered by manders17723 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My daughter had a similar problem with her baby when her husband came back from a year's deployment. They went to a counselor who pretty much got them back on track.
I'd suggest you, your daughter and her dad seriously explore this option.
Also, think the absolute worse case, if she doesn't want to go because something 'bad' is going on, a counselor will be able to see the signs.
2007-12-28 01:15:16 · answer #4 · answered by Fancy That 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children should never be used for revenge against the other parent, when reuniting, it's up to the parent to put their child at ease...at 6 years old they react to what they have been told.
Why would you not tell your daughter she has two brothers? Even though you are bitter, you should make it a special event for her..."It's so wonderful, you're going to see your father and meet your brothers."
No matter how hurt and angry you are, for one day hold on to your hostility and let your daughter have her day.
2007-12-28 01:44:39 · answer #5 · answered by sadie_oyes 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Don't push the issue with your daughter. If you have to let her dad see her. Let her father try to talk to her and connect with her. Sit close to her if you have to so she feels safe but do let him try to talk to her and have a relationship. Try to get along with your ex for your daughters sake. Talk to her about her dad and how much he cares for her and wants to get to know her. It must be hard for you and your ex. Especially for your daughter. I would get counceling for yourself and your daughter as to how to handle your feelings and to see what is best. Wish you well and hope things work out.
2007-12-28 01:50:16 · answer #6 · answered by liliana 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
spank the hell out of her
2007-12-28 01:19:47 · answer #7 · answered by creativeresearchmethods 2 · 0⤊ 5⤋