Is kissing a big issue..?

Question

I got engaged very recently and planned to get married in 2 months. My would be is very nice loving girl.
Prior to marriage, I was in love with my college mate for nearly 2 yrs. But the relationship was fully emotional never intimate phyically. We might have kissed each other a couple of times but never went beyond this. But somehow the relationship did not materialise.
I want to disclose all this to my 'would be' to be absolutely honest in my behaviour. But I am not sure what her reaction would be. I know falling in love is not a sin and I am sure it happens most of us but I am really worried about the kissing thing. I am not sure how she'll take it even though what I see around, it is very common.
Is it also a sin to kiss a girl you love ? Would my 'would be' pardon me...

Answer 1

Your behaviour has been quite restrained - you should have nothing to worry about. I am sure most men and women kiss quite a few others before they end up marrying.

Answer 2

To my fiance and I, kissing is a big deal. We've never kissed. To your current fiance, if you haven't kissed yet then it's probably important to her. However, this doesn't mean that she won't forgive you for a few kisses to someone else prior to you dating her. To you and her it might be a bigger deal than most realize and that's just how you feel about it. I don't think she'll be upset and break off the engagement or anything. You may want to wait for the right time to tell her. Telling her this now when she's blissfully happy that she's getting married may disappoint her more than if you wait a couple weeks to bring it up. Just tell her. She should know and it's not as bad as some other things that could have happened.

Answer 3

You had a love interest and you kissed - that makes you a normal, although seriously restrained, college graduate.

I really hope I don't offend you, but if you think that a kiss might be a sin you may need to work on having a healthier, more relaxed view of human sexuality.

I think you have absolutel nothing to worry about with your fiance. Unless you're both from a religiously-isolated community, I can't imagine that she would have a problem with your having kissed someone in the past.

Answer 4

As I understand you did wrong according to your culture. For that you are feeling guilty, and it is good sign. In my opinion the Truth that carries some problem should not be spoken. It means telling lie is bad thing but every truth is not to be spoken.
You just marry with your to be, develop a reasonable level than if feel you may inform her or just forget your past.

Answer 5

If you are honest in telling everything to her, then I think you have passed your first test. However, you may expect some resistance/ negative responses from her.
Kissing is no more a taboo in our society. It is quite common. But what counts more is your honesty, loyalty and commitments to your fiancee. So your finacee should be convinced that you'll be loyal to her always. It is not just by talks but by your actions.

Answer 6

YOU have a past which involved dating and kissing. Congrats. That makes you normal. No apologies need to be asked for. If you think you need to ask for forgiveness for having kissed someone in the past, then you need some professional help in the self-esteem area.


Even if you had gone to bed with someone, it's the PAST. In the present, you are preparing to marry. Your past relationships have nothing to do with this one, and some things are left better unsaid. You are not a criminal nor a womanizer.


Congrats, keep it quiet, and enjoy sex and love with the new one.

Answer 7

Friend ,
Why sould you open an unnecessary topic to your would be.
If you open such a topic which worths just 2 points , then your would be would be opening such subjects worth 2000 points .Can you tolerate her love stories then....?

Sharing such things ,
Showing the ex- love's photos,
Showing the past love letters,
Playing past love -speach recordings ....
All these things are foolish.
Psychologically it comes under a disease.

He who wants to share such things with her should be ready to hear such things from her also.

This is how some men share their pre-marital sex experiences also. In return she too shres a hundred fold pre-marital sex experience in which she always remember with all praise how she can never forget her sex-experience with her collegemate ' Rock Moor ' who was the best ,the ablest and the most skilled candidate that no woman can ever forget throughout her life.

Friend ,I belong to the world's biggest democratic nation where people don't take " kiss " easy.

A woman is expected or allowed to be touched or kissed by her own husband only ( that too in total privacy only and not in any public place to be seen by others. )

First, a man and woman just touch,
then kiss,
then just embrace,
then clasp ,
then the temper and the temperature raise,
then undress,
then what .. and then what my friend...?

The Westerners are trying to fool the the Eastern people who actually follow a scientifically good, proper and balanced culture..

In most cases " kiss " ends in sex only.
Sex ends in pregnancy ,
Pregnancy ends in foeticide or infanticide.

Foeticide and infanticide are the things the Estern culture fears and discourages the most. Foeticide and infanticide are things the Eastern culture considers the most heinous crime and the worst Sin.

The Eastern people don't even shake hands with other sex.
This is the situation using which most men convey their lecherous and sex intentions with women whom they shake hands with.
Please go through shakespear's English drama Othello where you can understand the harm behind shaking hands with people of other sex.

The West forsook the culture prescribed in the Bible and has prefered an Un-biblican and Un-godly culture and now the whole world listens keenly how the West reaps the Consequences of following an ungodly culture.

Marriage is a Brige which should not be tested with heavy loads.
Once it frays or just collapses down ,no engineer can mend it or re-build, or re-set it to its original grandure.
Marriage is a good and beautiful Mirror ,
Why one should knock upon it with a big golden key.

" Therefore ,if anyone is in Christ ,he is a new creation;
THE OLD HAS GONE ,THE NEW HAS COME ! "
( 2 Corinthians 5:17 ) .

I can't do any thing but shedding tears for the hypocritical and really unsuccessful culture of the West.

The Bible instructs that every mans' wife should be a virgin when she marries, and no woman should enjopy sex with any man other than her own husband. This family tie is the stongest safety for the children.But the selfish West has abandoned the Bible and on the other hand has started hating It.

There are cultures which are
Money- centred ,
Pleasure- centred,and
Sex- centred.

But my country ( India ) strictly believes in a culture which is purely child-centred.

Oh God ,Save the west.

" A HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL"

with love,

sundar

December 31,2007,9:15 P.M

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Answer 8

Why do you torture yourself?
What would you win if you tell your finance that you’ve been in love with another girl before?
Maybe she would understand and maybe she was also in love with somebody else before, but most likely she will feel jealous for no reason.
I mean this relationship is over and as you’ve said, there did happen really nothing at all which has to be mentioned...
Why do you want your finance to worry about things neither you nor her can change in the present?
If I were you, I would leave these things, which belong to the past in the past, as it’s your future, which is important, and nothing else...
Don’t give your finance reasons to feel insecure, she may think that you do not find her attractive and that you might still love another person.
No, just leave things as they are.
I mean, there are so many opinions about what is a correct conduct before marriage and I do not want to go into this issue, as it’s a very personal question.
But these kisses do belong to your past and there is nothing you can do to change the past - so stop torturing yourself and do not even think of torturing your to be wife with that.
My mom used to say: "Why shall you cry over the spilled milk if there is nothing to do about it... just be aware next time."
Which means in your case, that you should concentrate in the future and be a good, loving and faithful husband to your wife...
Congratulations and all the best!!!
Make her happy, I think this is the only way to show that you are an excellent person.
By the way, it shows, that you have a very good character, because you are really concerned about the feelings of your future wife.

Answer 9

i like it you are a honest man . when i was married i told my wife about my gf before we got married nothing wrong if you hide something then there will be problem

Answer 10

Keeping mum is better some time,only resolve that u will not cheat ur wife in future.