Im working as software engineer earning 50K per month in India. I have working since 4 years. I am in love with a girl from 4 years. We to love each other. We decided to marry each other. When we spoke to the girl's father there was a strong refusal from. The reason for the refusal is the caste. We both are hindus but not same caste. Their parents are cruel and dangerous and they will do anything for the caste. They warned me that will kill my parents and me if i continue love with her. I am in very tensed situation from 3 months. Now the girls parents are searching for a boy to get her daughter married. So we have decided to marry wothout informing them. We dont have any other option, we tried to convince them a lot, but there is no use. The problem is what their reaction would be after the marriage. How can i stop them from harming me and my parents. I am in very tensed situation. please help me out.
2007-12-27 22:57:58 · 12 answers · asked by Pradeep 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Pradeep, only few days/months back I had replied to some one like you, who happened to be a Bihari & wanted to marry this non Bihari lady but her parents refused him only because he was from Bihar. Similarly I have been replying to people who belong to different religions or caste but their parents have been refusing to give permission for such marriage. I have been telling through out that if you people are of legal marriageable age i.e. man 21years & woman 18 years, unmarried, not related to each other under the degree of prohibited relationship, mentally fit & not suffering from any mental disorder, then just go ahead for such marriage whether you belong to different religion or caste as you are legally eligible to do so. Let me once again bring to your notice that just few months/year back the Supreme Court of India had directed the Police department of whole of India to give due protection to all those young couples who get inter-religious or inter-caste married. Even the government of India encourages the inter-caste marriage & some state governments even give special privileges to couple for such inter-caste marriages. I don't think you should bother about your safety after marriage to this lady. You can always bring to the notice (in writing) of your near police station regarding such marriage, show then the valid marriage certificate that you get from the marriage officer/registrar after such marriage getting registered under the provisions of the Hindu Marriage Act,1955 or under the Special Marriage Act,1954 as the case may be & just remain cool. Let her parents shout & make noise it hardly matters, but if they try to harm you physically the police will take care of them. In case the police fail to carry out their duty, the nearest High Court is open for you to approach & file writ of mandamus against the police department & pray the Hon'ble High Court for directing them to provide sufficient protection from her parents & other relatives. This all you have to do in such contigencies. Best of Luck!
2007-12-28 00:19:11 · answer #1 · answered by vijay m Indian Lawyer 7 · 6⤊ 0⤋
I don't mean to dump on your culture. But it's just that as a Westerner, sometimes I get sick of people dumping on Western culture, even though we don't have all of this caste s**t and all of these threats of violence if one's child marries outside of one's caste.
How can you stop them from harming you and your parents? It's hard to say, given the fact that you live in a society that seems to condone that kind of thing.
If you and your wife were to move to America, you'd be fine. Nobody would give a rat's tail that you were from a different caste -- the only important thing is that you love each other.
And if her parents came over to the US and tried to do anything to you, you could just call the cops, and the cops would throw their asses in jail. End of story.
...
2007-12-27 23:09:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know a little about the Indian caste system, but not enough to know what would happen if the two of you married behind her parents' backs.
The only option I can see is for the two of you to immigrate to another country.
I wish you both luck.
2007-12-27 23:09:41 · answer #3 · answered by Lillian 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't speak like a coward. Be strong or stop loving.
Marry her and inform the police. Do it under police cover and if possible also inform the media.
Be cautious always. Only you can help yourself. You are a fully eligible bachelor; you earn really well; the girl loves you. If her parents are not consenting, what can you do!
Do it before their designs overwhelm you. I repeat stop being a coward and stop wasting your time here! Go to police, friends, media and marry and live happily.
You do it before they do something or you will regret all your life!
2007-12-28 02:51:07 · answer #4 · answered by Vikas Gupta 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are prepared to wed without consent then you must be prepared for the consequences, whatever that might be. It might be that they carry out their threat and kill your in laws, it may be that they disown you completely and cut you out of your inheritance.
What I would ask you both to do is think very carefully as your safety and the safety of people around you are paramount. There are so many stories of suicides as a result of marital problems and in-law trouble. Don't allow yourselves to become yet another statistic.
I don't envy you one bit. Good luck and God bless and keep you safe and happy, whatever your choice.
2007-12-28 02:41:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, I don't know much about your culture, but her parents do sound dangerous. I don't know if I'd marry this girl behind their backs... god knows what they would do to you or your family. I don't understand this "caste" you speak of... but is it possible for you to be in the same "caste" as they are????
2007-12-27 23:03:27 · answer #6 · answered by Racer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out of Dodge.. excuse me,, LEAVE INDIA AND MARRY THE ONE YOU LOVE AND OF COURSE SHE LOVES YOU. India is a nice place but some really need to what that system is doing to their country and join the rest of the world in the 21st century. Ok not all Indians,, just the ones that can't accept that there is a better way.
2007-12-27 23:23:42 · answer #7 · answered by jorge e 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are in a serious situation. If you marry, you risk endangering the life of yourself and your parents, if u part u risk losing the love of your life. The woman you love will probably be disowned by her family if she marry u. You have alot of soul searching to do. Pray, and maybe in time the answers will come to you. The only other way is if you, her, and your family flee.
2008-01-04 04:06:41 · answer #8 · answered by stepintostep 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maja problem asa ahe ki maji intercast ahe amcha lagn karayla koni sakshidar nahit sagle bhit ahet ki amala kahi kartil mahnun mala kalat nahi kay karv amala tar lawkar lagn karaych ahe ani gharche parmitiondet nahit plz help karan ami doge ekmekanshivay rahushakat nahi
2015-07-07 22:51:46 · answer #9 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
whts thr caste..and ur caste also..u tell me i can help u by giving vry good ideas
2008-01-01 21:16:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋