Can i give birth on my own without a birth partner?

Question

Ok i am 26 weeks pregnant I have 3 other children but i gave birth with my ex husband in hospital. Now this baby's father he has a weak stomach i dont want to be worrying about him while i am giving birth i think i am strong enough i do have other family members but i am not going to ask them to be my birth partner. Has anybody given birth in hospital without a birth partner??

I am in the UK

This will be my 4th i am not having a birth plan as this time eveything and anything goes, apart from giving me the baby when he is cleaned up

Answer 1

I was a big believer in husbands/boyfriends being in the delivery room when their child is being born however I read an article on this very subject this week in a magazine. It really said that not all couples can sustain the type of 'trauma' that is going on when a woman gives birth and it shouldn't be such an expected thing for partners to be there at the birth. (i believe they should be at the hospital though)
Some men can't handle seeing what goes on and seeing their wives in such pain and therefore can negatively impact their relationships. Other men wouldn't trade it for the world.

It really is something that you and your husband need to discuss together and by all means, if you feel comfortable doing it without him, there will be midwives and doctors to be your support people instead.

I'm having my third and if my husband comes to me in all seriousness and says he just couldn't cope being there again I would have to respect his wishes. I want everyone to be happy and if he's there to at least come in as soon as the baby is delivered, we'll still get to experience the first moments together.

Do what you feel comfortable with and speak to your midwives at the hospital to find out if you will be left alone or if one of them will be with you the whole time (or at least the best portion of it) .

Best of luck

Answer 2

Your partner should really have the guts to be in the room with you. If he stays at the head end of the bed (as opposed to the scary end!) then he should be fine. He doesn't have to watch the gory moments, just be a hand to hold, and a voice of support and love. I mean come on, it's not 1950 any more!

Failing that, maybe look around for a doula - a professional paid woman who will be your voice in the delivery room.

I think you need someone there (family, friend or professional) to keep your mind focused, offer you support and reassurance and fill in the boring times between contractions. The midwives will be flitting between patients and will not be focused on you, and you need someone to ensure that you and the middies/doctors stick to your birth plan and give you the labour that you want.

EDIT: Maybe check out this site http://www.doula.org.uk/ . I understand you might not have a specific plan, ("anything and everything goes" lol!) but should any unforeseen circumstances arise (ie need for an emergency caesar, touch wood it won't) she will help keep you in the loop etc.

One thing I found really hard when my daughter went into distress during labour and required ventouse extraction - I felt all the decisions were out of my hands and I was no longer part of the process. A sane person who isn't in loads of pain who is there solely for you is always a bonus in that situation!

Answer 3

I have always had my husband there with me. This truly hurts my heart to hear you will be alone. If you have anyone that you are somewhat close to, you should ask them to be there with you. They don't have to see anything while sitting or standing next to the bed. They can ask them to step out of the room when they are checking you. I felt the same way that you are feeling about not wanting people to see me like that, so only my husband and a doula was there. My doula was a Nurse Practitioner who came and stayed in my room and helped me. She was covered by my insurance. Nurses are soooo busy, they can't sit by your side the whole time. Let me know what you decide ok! :) A doula is an assistant who provides various forms of non-medical support (physical, emotional and informed choice) in the childbirth process. Based on a particular doula's training and background, the doula may offer support during prenatal care, during childbirth and/or during the postpartum period. A birth doula is a continuous care provider for labor in many settings. Thus a labor doula may attend a home birth or might attend the parturient woman during labor at home and continue while in transport and then complete supporting the birth at a hospital or a birth center.

Answer 4

Maybe you partner is not the right one to go in with you...but I think it's easier and more relaxing to know someone is there watching your back. Giving birth is a very vunerable position for a woman and without someone there to support you- you may not be as relaxed as you should. NOT to mention that if anything should go wrong (Which I HOPE DOESN'T HAPPEN)...there will be someone in there that you can count on to help you through it.

I'm not sure about in he UK but I do know that doulas are trained to be that kind of support system during delivery. So even if you don't want family in there, you can hire someone to help you who won't freak out or faint. Good luck!

Answer 5

Most hospitals and OBGYN will agree that it is easier, really when it comes down to it for you to have someone. But there is no hard and fast rule that you have to have someone. At the very least your babys father should assist you in the refresher birthing classes so your as prepared as possible but if you think you can... good for you. Im impressed..really.
I know people who have and they said it was harder with no familiar face there but I wish you all the luck.