I cant stand my friends kids!?

Question

my good friend comes over at least twice a week and its great, thing is she brings her kids! They are little terrors! they run around my house tearing through draws, cuboards anything they can get thier little paws on! I love my friend coming over, but not her kids! What can i do? or more or less, how can i tell her?

Answer 1

Provide a space and things for them to do it, e.g., coloring, a game, etc. Tell them that is where they will be while you visit with their mom.

Answer 2

Tell her kindly that you love her, and you love her children. Tell her that your house isn't set up for kids, though, and you need her help in setting boundaries, because they tear your place up and you are having a problem with that.

Can you have a room or area set up that would be more child friendly?

Do you just sit and let it happen when it does? How about getting some toys for them that are age appropriate, and telling them that when they are at your house, they get to play "here and here, but NOT here." Definitely don't discipline her kids, but do be positive and give them something fun to do.

Take them into account when you consider your friendship, and maybe from time to time you can all go outside and run around, go to a park, visit somewhere else.

Mostly though, you need to be honest with your friend and let her know that you've been afraid to bring it up, but that you truly do need to have your space respected a little more.

Good luck, and best wishes to you all!

Answer 3

This is your house you are talking about!! You need to pull rank! If she wont intervene, then you have the right to do so. If she doesn't like it, then she doesn't have to come over. I was in the same situation but it was my brother's children. I see how they tear up their home, I'd be damn if they were going to do it to mine!! I put my foot down!! My sister-in law didn't like it but those kids know when they come in my house, they will not run around like wild animals!! I will be respected! My sister-in law knows it too!! No more running wild!

Take a firm stand! It's your house and your rules. Tell them what will not be tolerated!! You don't want your things disrespected. Your friend should respect that. Sadly, it's their mother's fault. It's obvious they do that at home.

Answer 4

I know exactly how you feel! We had one mum in playgroup who's boys were totally like that and she was oblivious to the problem. Eventually, one of the mums told her she was no longer welcome in her home after the boys pulled up all the hoses on her reticulation. They had a major falling out and never spoke to one another ever again.
That said, how close is your friendship and does she acknowledge their behaviour? If she considers it normal behaviour then you may lose a friend if you're honest. Otherwise sitting down and having a talk with her about it would be the best course. Maybe she's not coping and needs help.

Answer 5

How about saying to her when she is going to come over....
"I have to run to the (store, dentist, gas station, video store) so how about I just come on over to your house. That way the kids will have their toys and games and they can play while we talk." And then perhaps you could limit the frequency of her visits to your house by calling and saying, "I would like to come over if it's okay with you" before she has a chance to come to your house.
Just a suggestion. It's a tough one when someone's kids rip your house apart ten minutes after you cleaned it up. However, if a child gets into things at my house and their parent ignores it, I feel free to say, "No, no! Please don't do that. I (have important papers in there; would rather you not play with that...here, play with this; please don't pick that up, it's very breakable). I try to remain polite and calm but I have the right to not allow someone else's kids tear up my house.

Answer 6

if u dont want the kids anymore to get into ur house so
whenever her kids do something that u dont like...dont say anything...just show that u really dont like it..by keeping quiet..or staring at them for few seconds..or by trying to show that u cant focus n what u r saying...so the mother will feel that her kids r no more welcome

dont make it that bad or otherwize u may lose her as a friend...
but its better to go out with her...since u dont wana be a babysetter..or u dont wana spend money on ur friends kids.

Answer 7

I've tried that once and that didn't work out. Trust me you can never ever tell her. Just try to circumvent the situation by suggesting to just have some girl time together. Going to lunch, or drinks. Anything you could do without the kids!
Good luck!
~V.

Answer 8

I understand totally. Some of our friends have kids like that too. Have you considered suggesting to them that they can play some wonderful games outside of the house? (Don't give them a baseball or anything they can break a window with ☺).

Answer 9

Try going over her house instead. If for some reason you can't go there..tell her your house is a mess or make up some excuse. Or you can go out somewhere and maybe find a place where she can't bring her annoying kids.

When it comes to telling her, I don't really know how. :/
Hope i helped

Answer 10

Tell your friend about this in a polite and humurous way, Let your friend know that you truly welcome his/her presence but if the kids keep destroying anything they can get their little paws on, you will be upset. The point is does your friend know that kids are too naughty.

Answer 11

I would simply let her know that her kids need to be carefull because you don't want them to get "hurt" . Better yet, hint at discipline by saying "Sweetie, don't touch that." and she'll eventually get the hint and tell the to stop touching things all over your house. Besides, they should learn how to respect other people's things.