Do you think a marriage should end right away after learning of infidelity or should the marriage be saved?

Question

Give me your opinions please. Thanks!

Answer 1

Different situation require different actions. For example: if he cheated on you because he/she was just being greedy and couldn't control himself, he needs to be kicked to the curb. Now if this person cheated because he/she felt like they were lacking something at home, then the marriage may be able to be saved, but you should seek major counseling right away or get things out in the open. You worked hard to get this person now you have to work even harder to keep this person, and if you feel that you are doing all that you were doing and suppose to do to keep a happy home and he still cheats then it is useless to try to salvage something that isn't there!

Answer 2

my marriage did have infidelity. first he commited adultry and once I learned of it, I did the same thing. We did try to make the marriage work, but it wasn't. There was too many trust issues. What ended up happening was, I ended up moving out and took the kids with me. My husband and I still dated trying to save our marriage..but there was that trust issue thing. Then I ended up moving 800 miles away from him....well, I was in another state for over a year and realized how much I wanted to be with him and for our marriage to work. Things now are very good. There is still an issue of trust, but we are working thru it. Bottom line is this, if two love each other enough, they can get thru anything.

Answer 3

To me, divorce should not be the first solution .Counseling has been known to save marriages a time or two. The key is has the line of communication been so severely damaged that it is irreparable. If you have been able to communicate then the marriage is saveable but the trust would always have an air of doubt. Give yourself the opportunity to save the marriage but if both sides do not equally try to save it then it is best to end it because it will take a 100-100% effort by both parties to accomplish it.

Answer 4

Your loving relationship was over the second both of you said "I do". Marriage is a lie and it can't be saved. Be careful and don't end it to quick. If you love him and he takes care of you keep him. Why!??!? Because the next man will cheat or maybe worse. Time to grow up and learn the facts of life:

1. There is no Santa
2. There might be a Bigfoot
3. All men cheat, almost all women cheat
4. Marriage ruins all relationships (moving in is the same)
5. Everyone lies (you even lie to yourself)
6. Life is not fair

Good luck and Happy Holidays. Email me
if you want to hear the truth. I don't lie.
...k

Answer 5

The cheated on spouse should try to forgive the cheating spouse. If they can, then it is possible the marriage can be saved. If they try, but can not forgive it is likely the marriage will end. However I think even the attempt to forgive will make the final outcome better for both parties.
For this approach to work the cheating spouse must show remorse and demonstrate a willingness to be a better spouse. Again even if the marriage is not saved the attempt will make it easier to reach an amicable(as possible) divorce.

Answer 6

Some people can work through that sort of thing, and get past it, and have a good marriage afterwards. Some can't.

I know my dad never truly forgave my mother for cheating. Every time they had a serious argument, he brought it up, for 15 years, until he died.

If that were me in the situation, I would get marriage counseling first, to see if we could work through it, and see if I could let go of the hurt of being cheated on. But if I could see that I was not letting go of the hurt, I would let go of the marriage, rather than have that hanging over us for years.

Answer 7

It all depends on your views and how you see infidelity. Each instance of cheating has to be evaluated on its own by those directly involved and then it is their decision to make. I know if I found out that my wife had cheated on me it wouldn't be an immediate end of our relationship. I would have to talk to her and find out why and see if the marriage could be salvaged and I think it could so long as it was just cheating and not an affair. Then again, that is just me and others may view it completely different.

Answer 8

Depends on how regretful the person is that did it. If they feel bad and want forgiveness and promise for it to never happen again, I believe in second chances. If there is children involved and years of marriage that would be thrown away, it's worth it to forgive and go on. I believe in what doesn't break you, makes you stronger. People say, "once a cheater, always a cheater!" That could be true, but forgiveness is a wonderful thing and if there is regret on the other persons side, I believe they deserve a second chance.

Answer 9

It's immediately "game over" for me. My ex-wife dated a guy for the last 8 months of our marriage and had I known the legalities of getting divorced at the time, I'd have left her as soon as I found out she was cheating on me. I've learned that I didn't do anything to deserve that kind of disrespect, so my current girl already knows that if I ever find out she's cheating on me, it's immediately over. BUT, I WILL have concrete evidence before I leave...I won't just go off of what someone is telling me...I'll have undeniable proof.

Answer 10

It depends upon two things:-

1. Is the relationship over?
2. Is the spouse concerned rependant?

If answer to the above two is yes, then marriage should be saved, otherwise, one must have a chat with the spouse and then decide upon divorce.