My partner and I would like to get married. We are sensitive people and prefer the company of our close friends, as we find others, particularly my family, pushy and try to pigeonhole our lifestyle as we can sometimes think "outside the square". This is irritating for us as we find their remarks can be ignorant, insulting and lack respect.
Our families have been pestering us about getting married, but we would like to do this in our own time, in own way. We would like it to be a small quiet affair with the friends we trust and no big fuss made. The problem is my family would never forgive me for excluding them from a ceremony, even to the point of my mother yelling at me and my partners parents would be disappointed as well.
Arranging and attending big events gives me anxiety, having had a nervous break down 4 years ago I am careful about what I take on. It is easier just not to get married. What should we do? It sounds crazy but we are both in our mid fourties.
2007-12-27 15:54:54 · 7 answers · asked by ? 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Can you handle a quiet intimate ceremony and include your parents. Explain to them that it's going to be small and you want to keep it that way on purpose. Have it someplace where only a few people will fit in. That would help get the message across. Best wishes!
2007-12-27 16:11:54 · answer #1 · answered by Woods 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should have your wedding ceremony your way. If you have already suffered a nervous breakdown, you need to make the choices that are the best for you and your partner.
You are not children, you are mature adults and if you were to elope and have a small ceremony with a few friends, that is your decision.
If your parents and your partners parents give you a hard time or make you feel guilty, they do not have to be told about the wedding until it is all over.
You are an adult, and have the right to make your own choices without your parents being involved, if you were under the age of eighteen, it would be a different story.
I even know a couple who eloped, and then had a big party for friends and family a couple of months later and had a second "surprise" ceremony at the party. That way there was no planning and pushing, little stress and the parents and others had no say in what was going on. This couple was in their fifties, so you are not alone.
2007-12-27 16:15:03 · answer #2 · answered by Sue F 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could do it your way, but is your family that big? Couldn't you just invite your parents and your immediate family as well as his? If not, maybe you can have a small ceremony and then invite everyone else to the reception. However, it it sounds like too much to do, then definitely do it your way, because it is your wedding. ^_^
2007-12-27 16:01:53 · answer #3 · answered by pawdog530 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe you and your partner should do whatever makes you both feel content. After all, it is your wedding. Don't worry about what your parents think, you are old enough to do whatever you want. Have a small ceremony and don't invite your parents
2007-12-27 16:04:02 · answer #4 · answered by Talkstress 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
appears like he's conserving you in charge for his ex-spouse's habit. Thats no longer ordinary. this could develop right into a dealbreaker ultimately... say 10 years from now, you nevertheless are no longer married and you nevertheless prefer to be married, how plenty longer are you going to stay with your self desiring something you will never get?
2016-11-25 21:43:16 · answer #5 · answered by cutburth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do not have to please your family. It does not seem like they have your best interest at heart. If you want to marry without them I would do it and make no apologies. This is your day and you need to do what it is that will make you happy and content.
2007-12-27 16:30:28 · answer #6 · answered by kim h 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
invite just a few Friends and both parents, still keeping it small.
with no reception. no fuss
2007-12-27 16:14:57 · answer #7 · answered by bluesky 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋