What should I do?

Question

Ok, I'm possibly facing a delima here. I'm not even sure if I am pregnant, but I need to get my head on straight for if I am. I've talked it over with my boyfriend, and we've come up with three options. Should I:

1. Abort
2. Have the baby and keep it
3. Have the baby and give it up for adoption

There are plus' and minus' to all three. I really don't want to go with abort, but I'm scared of what my family will think, plus the financial strains. That, and I have college January 10th to go to.

Suggestions please? They would be much appreciated.

Answer 1

Don't listen to anyone on here. These are people that you don't know and you should not make this HUGE decision based on their opinion. You have to do what is right for you. Talk to someone who knows your situation. There are pregnancy hot lines that you can call. They are non-judgmental and can give you guidance.

Answer 2

1. find out for sure.
The rest is up to you nobody can make this choice for you.
I'm not you so how could I possibly make that choice for you.
the first choice would solve the whole "problem"
The second would give you a child an entirely different life and set of responsibilities.
The third would sorta solve the problem but you would always know that someone out there is a piece of you while you may not be responsible for a child at some point that child would grow into an adult and want to know who you are.
I can tell you what I would do mainly because I have had to do exactly what your needing to do now. I was pregnant at 16 y.I choose #2 I kept my child she's now 15y. and a hell of a lot smarter then her Mother was.
I couldn't go for #1 but that was me. (and this is your life)
You could go for #3 I mean I can see this choice I knew a girl who went with this choice. Her and her boyfriend decided to go with an open adoption. Their daughter lives several States away and her new parents send pictures to them. She knows she's adopted she knows she has other parents and siblings.
My brother and sister In-law adopted their 3 kids. Threw the state foster program and those kids are heaven sent to them a real miracle to a couple who could never have a child of their own. Their birth parents loved them but just couldn't take care of them.
If I didn't go with choice #2 then mine would be #3. anyway good luck.

Answer 3

i am very against abortion, but no one on here can tell you what to do. you will make the decision that you feel is best for you. however, if you have an abortion, you will regret it for the rest of your life - you will have to live with a million 'what if's' and the inevitable guilt that will follow. i'm speaking not from personal experience but from knowing people who have made the choice. don't make a decision based on what anyone else will say to you about it. it has to be something that YOU can live with. i had my daughter when i was a junior in college (however, i was already married) and yes, it was hard, but it's not impossible. of course it will be hard financially and emotionally - i would be lying if i told you it would all be peachy keen. it is worth it... every time i look at my little girl, i realize how lucky i am to have her all over again.

if you and your boyfriend aren't in a place where you think your relationship can withstand having an addition to the family, then maybe your best bet would be to give the baby up for adoption. there are many couples out there who are unable to have children that would give yours a loving, happy home. and maybe, you'd be lucky enough to get a couple that would allow you to have some form of contact with the baby in case that is something you would decide you wanted down the road somewhere.

whatever your decision, best of luck to you.

Answer 4

Well if you don't want to go with the abort option now, then you will REALLY hate yourself for going through with it. So, save yourself the lifetime guilt that often comes from abortions and don't go through with it.

If you have the baby and keep it, well, there are obvious emotional/financial worries to consider. Judging by your college ambitions, this may not be the best option (or it may...but it depends on whether you want to handle that much responsibility...think of having a dog while in college and what that would be like...having to feed it and walk it every day and make sure it doesn't get into your roomate's stuff...taking it to the vet, etc...Multiply that responsibility by 1000 and you may have an idea of what it's like to raise a child.) Another option open to you may be to have an older family member take care of the baby while you get your college degree, and then you can take over the responsibility. It may take some talking and working it out to figure if anyone in your family would b e willing to share this responsibility with you.

Third option, giving it up for adoption. This option has a bit of a stigma attached to it. On the news and TV talk shows you may often hear about foster kids who grow up and blame their biological parents for giving them up in the first place. But for every story they tell of a heartbroken foster kid, there are probably 1000 stories of foster kids who grow up in loving homes that don't make the news because there's nothing negative to say about them. And remember that there are many infertile parents who are emotionally and financially stable to have children who can't due to biological reasons. Giving them a child may be a real blessing. Depending on the couple, they may even let you keep in touch with the child.

Well I hope that helps you out a little bit. Whatever you decide to do, it's your call, and only you can make it.
I wish you the best of luck with your decision.

Answer 5

Here is the thing...all three of these options have merits...no one probably can tell you what to do...all I can say is that when I was 19 I had an abortion, and I ended up finishing college (now have a graduate degree) and getting a job etc. I did not look back and have not regretted my decision at all. However, I am the aunt of two adopted boys--my sister could not get pregnant and some other women selflessly gave up their kids--keeping baby would be the hardest option I think but the most understandable. Just know that none of these decisions will destroy you you will get through this I promise. Good luck It WILL be OK

PS Try not to listen to the people on here who are urging you to make any decision without having lived it themselves....such hypocrites Makes me sick....

Answer 6

There are a number of adoption agencies that maybe able to help you. Some will even pay for all or part of your prenatal care. I have a niece and nephew who were adopted, and my neighbors' have 2 adopted girls. They are all very loved.

The 2 sources that I listed are from 2 different states. They may be able to recommend an agency in your area.

As for college, there are a lot of pregnant women in college.

Answer 7

I suggest you figure out if you're pregnant, one. Then (if yes) look at the BIG PICTURE. Who is your support base? Those are the folks (or person) who can offer input since you will need them.

Make your lists of pros and cons. Whatever you choose, you can do it. Whatever you chose, it's forever. I can tell you what I would do. But, I don't live your life or know your heart. Get all the feedback you can and then map it out. You WILL NOT escape consequence with any of your options, you have to know that.

Answer 8

If you can't handle it yourself, i would give it up for adoption. First talk to your parents, maybe they'd want to raise it. I say adoption because there are so many people out there that cannot have children and would love to raise yours as their own in a second. I say no to abortion because i know of people that this has happened to, and that have had miscarriages, and they can barely live with themselves. It often happens way down the road too. Your views may change when you choose to have children or just out of the blue and you realize that you killed one of your children. You wouldnt want to go through that pain that many have experienced.

Answer 9

If you're not ready for the financial strains, I would say have the baby then give it up for adoption. However, once it's born you may find you want to try keeping it.

I wouldn't abort it though, if it turns out you are pregnant. If you don't feel ready for the responsibility of raising a child, there's many people out there who are on waiting lists for their turn. Your child will be loved and cared for, and perhaps once you're ready you could re-introduce yourself into their life.

Answer 10

a baby will not ruin ur life but abortions can be bad the baby is alive when they chop it up n scoop it out, if u really cn't have it then yeah go 4 abortion but make sure u kno all the facts before doin it, if u keep it their is plenty of option in ur life u can take night school home studies theres is no reason what so ever this baby will stop u from doin ur studies if it doe's then ur lazy n u dn't really wana do school, n as 4 the 3rd yeah ur life will go on as normal but u will alwats woundering what happened 2 him or her n it can be a good thig if u can do ur best 2 keep in contact with them but they cud get a family that dn't want u their it's up to u jus get all the facts 1st