Approaching women?

Question

Guys, what would stop you from approaching a woman you find attractive? Are there certain types of women you simply like to look at but just won't walk up to? What if those women approached you?

Answer 1

Much depends on context.

In a nightclub type situation, I am completely fearless about approaching an attractive woman that I don't know, with a view to getting to know her.

In social or work situations its a very different thing for me altogether. I do not tend to try to form relationships from these types of situations, so while I talk to some very attractive women, it is not generally in a sexual context at all, so in that sense, it isn't "approaching" - it's being introduced and sharing time socially.

What would stop me approaching a woman I find attractive - on the whole - very little. If she has a wedding band, or is obviously with a partner I will not make an approach.

I do prefer and feel more comfortable if she isn't in a vast crowd of people. Amongst one or two friends is fine, but I wouldn't want to run the gauntlet of 20 odd giggling mates to ask her if she has a light.

Are there types of woman I'd rather look at but not approach? No - not on the basis of looks anyway. If its a visual thing then I have no clue what a woman is like except physical attraction. If I feel attracted, and that there is a reasonable chance that the attraction will be reciprocated I will make an approach.

I would tend to look to see if she is dropping me hints on the dance floor (well back in the days of nightclubbing anyway...my answer here mostly refers to me of a decade or two ago, not me now). As someone mentioned earlier, women do often give hints that they would welcome an approach.

What is she approached me? Well - that's cool when it happens. I am very bad at saying no, so she is likely going to get lucky ;)

Answer 2

I've never walked up to a woman to strike up a conversation, and I've always had girlfriends. It's just too difficult, and you can see the answers on your last question of how men get treated when they fumble it all up and say something silly.

One thing to remember, is that if a guy is charming, he has probably had a lot of practice(you're not the first). I see a lot of guys that I knew were lying about themselves and the women were all over them. I think to myself, "Why lie, and why not actually do something worth bragging about"... but then you see 10 women talking to him and then I know why they do it.

As far as women approaching me, I've had numerous, and even at work. Most were married though and I had to say no... so I don't really know the answer to this question.
A few years ago, my friend's wife told me that I'm the type of guy that women sleep with, but don't marry. I really haven't completely made sense of what she meant, as I've never done any girlfriends wrong.

But, again, to answer your question: I've never really gone up to a woman to start a conversation, but have talked to quite a few that were near me. I guess I just have the mentality that no woman has beer flavored nipples or anything.

Answer 3

?#1...Stop me.... Well attitude is always a big turn off... Everybodies SHlT stinks. If she thinks she is something special then she is definitely not. So that is my #1 peeve.
?#2... Nope. I will admire a beautiful woman and not go up to her. For the simple reason that sometimes you just want to look. Kinda like going by a car dealership. There may be several there that you want to ride, but you don't have to go in and test drive every single one of them.
?#3... For the most part I am usually not the one to approach women. Although I have in the past.
I am usually approached by women. I guess I just have that come talk to me look. I am never rude or mean when a woman approaches me though. Always polite. NEVER look a gift hoarse in the mouth. I figure if I ever was to be rude, then that would be the day women would stop coming up to me. I know it takes a lot of guts to walk up to a complete stranger and complement them by offering your company. So I am always flattered, and thankful. Except once when I was approached by a rather loud woman and her friend, in a grocery store. She proclaimed to me that I am a very PRETTY man.. "A PRETTY MAN?" I replied... She said "My lord you are. You are a pretty man!" So I thanked her and told her she was quite a handsome woman.... heh heh heh.

I hope that answers your question.

Answer 4

I am not a guy but I think it has to do with a woman's mood. If I do not make eye contact and do not want to be approached then most men will leave me alone. If I make eye contact and it is obvious that I am open to being talked to I will get a ridiculous amount of men approaching me anywhere I go. If I am in an outgoing mood I will get approached by boys/men 20 years younger to 20 years older than I am.
To sum it up...Men will approach beautiful women if they look approachable.

Answer 5

There is the obvious excuse...Married, ring on her finger, with a guy....

Uncertainty as to what to say would be another one. Not seeing any "in" to start a conversation. I am not one to use cheesy pick up lines or anything like that. If a woman approached me, I would be receptive, no matter what she looked like or anything like that. I believe all people deserve respect--especially if they are in the vulnerable position of being shot down.

AND if it were YOU approaching me, I would definitely love that =)

ADDITION: Just go for it. No one is going to be mean to you.

Answer 6

It really depends....

If a girl is with a guy, out of respect for him, I more than likely would not approach her, but I may make eye contact and smile. It'd be up to her then (so if she isn't "with" him, then she should approach me).

As someone else stated, the girls that "got it, but don't flaunt it" are really my type. I like girls to be a little more conservative in how they dress - dressing slutty (with the exception of halloween costumes lol) just screams that they want attention from any/ever guy they come across. Not my style.

Basically, my general "strategy" in approaching women goes something like this.... typically I'll notice her early in the night, and I'll take a few seconds to watch how she interacts with people. Obviously, I don't creepily stare or anything lol, but just casually notice. You can tell a lot about a person's personality like this. If she seems like a b*tch, then I won't bother. If she seems nice and fun, then I'll keep her in mind, and if I find myself near her later on, I'll talk to her. I rarely go out of my way to do this. There are plenty of attractive girls around, and I'm not going to awkwardly charge across a crowded room to go talk to a girl that I don't know. But if I'm in line for a drink, and she (or another attractive girl) is near me, I'll just say something to her, and more than likely a conversation will start. I'll offer to buy her drink(s), and afterwards, if she wants to stay and talk she can. If not, I may say hi later on if I walk by her again, and if she seems interested in talking, I'll talk. If not, well, like I said, there are plenty more attractive girls around.

If they approach me (obviously assuming I'm available and not in the process of talking to another girl), it's much, much easier because then you know from the start they're at least somewhat interested. If a girl that I noticed earlier, but seemed like a b*tch approaches me, I will give her a shot, and if I was mistaken (normally I'm not), obviously I'll talk and get to know her. Now, if she's the girl that's dressed scantily, seems pretty slutty, and acts like a b*tch.... that's a different story. Normally, I'd make an escape by saying I have to go to the bathroom, or I simply finish my drink and say I need another one (without offerring to get her one, obviously). However, if it's late, and there are not any other real prospects, I'm not gonna lie - I'll totally one night stand her. I'm not big into them, and I would never do it to a girl who is nice and sweet, but a girl like the one I just mentioned definitely had it coming, and more than likely, that is what she is looking for anyway.

Like I said, that's my "general strategy." It varies from situation to situation, but I don't do too badly for myself normally, so I suppose it works.

Answer 7

Scan the room and make eye contact with a few cute guys. After a few minutes of scoping, separate from your friends. You can tell them to go to the bathroom and leave you there or you can go outside and get some fresh air(patio, porch, etc...). The bravest guy will approach. Have fun!

Answer 8

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Answer 9

I never approach women, I am way to shy for that. If they approached me I would be happy to talk to them.

Answer 10

Well I wouldn't walk up to a chic with a dude. That is just rude and asking for trouble! Girls usually give you signs that they are approachable. Are you approachable?