I SLEPT with my father in law!?

Question

What do i do? do i tell my husband?

Answer 1

Yes,I would be honest with your husband.

But be prepared for the fact that he might not be so forgiving.

Answer 2

Advice here would be hard to give.

It is hard because when you tell your husband, he will probably walk. And this is soooooooo wrong.

The right thing to do is to tell your husband - and take your medicine.

Do you have any idea what will probably happen?

Your husband will be destroyed. Not only did his wife cheat on him ... but with his DAD !!!! His life will never be the same - nor hold the same meaning again.

Your husband's relationship with his father will probably be gone forever. I cannot imagine a father doing this to his son. Nor a wife, doing it to her husband.

This is a mess. This is the worst.

What you have done will never go away - whether you tell your husband, or not ... it will always linger around.

Your husband should be given the choice to either stay with you .. or leave you.

If you do not have children with him ... then be nice to him and don't have children with him right now ... that would be awful for him.

I am not trying to be mean ... but no one should ever have to endure this in their whole life-time. A horrible thing has been done to your husband ... and it is your decision if you want to hide it under the rug - which would be another thing done against your husband. I just cannot imagine how badly he will take this ... and I don't understand how any father could actually do this to their son.

Wives can come-and-go ... but his Dad will always remain his Dad forevermore ... and their relationship will be marred for the rest of their whole life-time. How awful.

The more I think of it .. the more I am at a loss of what to say .. I am so stunned that anyone would actually do this.

Answer 3

Eew.
No - this is your burden to bear, bear the guilt and shame on your own. Hopefully you are a decent enough person to have plenty of both. If not, well, it's a big club, apparently.

Answer this question before you say anything. How will it benefit your husband to know that?

Obviously, you are not really into looking ahead to the benefit of someone else, but now is a perfectly good time to start. My opinion is you will ruin two families if you say anything, so it would be wisest to shut up and stay away from the FIL.

I know there are a lot of 'honesty is the best policy' fanatics out there that will give me major thumbs down for this, but IF you love your husband, and IF you still have a future together, and IF you have children to raise, it will be easier to do all of those things without this getting out.

You will need the complicity of the FIL - you should also secure his promise that he will never tell anyone, and you should be allowed to have your family in peace. He should never be alone with you again.

This will be difficult, but you got yourselves into this mess, it would be nice if you didn't ruin too many other people's lives in the process.

Answer 4

The way you emphasise "SLEPT" makes me wonder if you are being literal and just riling people. If this is the case, Good One!!

BUT, just in case you are serious, my thoughts are below ...

First of all, I'm hoping your FIL is single ... Why? Because if he's married, your (yours and his) lack of judgement just ruined 4 lives (and then some if there are kids involved).

Secondly, how the hell did that happen?? What were you thinking? Better yet, why weren't you thinking about the consequences such actions would create?

Honestly, you need counseling - for you, for you and hubby together, and your FIL needs counseling too (with his wife if he's got one).

It needs to come out - your husband needs to know. Hiding it might make things worse - not might, will. You'll forever hold a secret, forever hide a lie ... until it finally comes out.

In the end, the decision of whether or not to tell is yours.
Blessings.

Answer 5

Tell him, but tell him on Jerry Springer. Jerry makes EVERYTHING better.

If that doesn't float your boat, go get yourself some counseling because that's seriously messed up and you need some for it. Find a really good relationship counselor. I'm sure at some point in the therapy, she'll have you confront him about it. This is something you need to be talking to and receiving guidance from a professional about.

How confident are you that your father in-law wont spill the beans?

Answer 6

Whether you tell your husband or not, you already screwed your marriage to hell.
You slept with your husband's father, not some random guy you met at a club. Sooner or later the truth will come out...My advice is to get out of that family because you've already assisted in it being completely dysfunctional.
Can you imagine having intercourse with your husband after he just was with your mother the night before, wouldn't you want to know?

Answer 7

I'm a married man and if my wife slept with my father I don't know what I would do. I probably would be in jail for killing her.... I do know that it would destroy our marriage and both families, because I would damn sure tell her mother what happened.

This is a tough one, proponents of morality would say tell your husband. Those who lend decisions to common sense would say take this one to your grave. If you tell it's going to destroy the family. His mother will be floored, his siblings will be disgusted, he will divorce you and they'll hate you. They'll hate the father too, but at some point most of them will forgive him, you however won't be so lucky.

If you decide to tell him be ready for that and you may want to do it in public place, i.e. a park where there's plenty of space for you to run and call for the police.

I want to say don't tell him, but you'll have to see the father in law at family reunions, baby birthdays etc....so you can't forget about this. Wow...if you don't tell him then you and the father in law need to agree not to speak about this ever again and take it to your graves. Then treat your husband like a king and pray to God for forgiveness.

Answer 8

REALLY?? Wow...that is sad. Well I guess what you need to do is ask for a divorce. You obviously have some issues you need to work on and your husband deserves better than the way you have treated him. I hope you dont have children...what a mess you and your father in law have created. Ask for a divorce and seek professional help, and if you have children...let your husband raise them!

Answer 9

Are you crazy or just crazy? OMGosh, his dad? That is a line we NEVER cross but you did so now you have to make the situation right and you know just how to handle this yourself, you don't need advise here. OMGosh, the thought of sleeping with my father in law is just weird and not to mention GROSS, he's my hubbys daddy.

Mary in Beulah, MI. USA

Answer 10

Is your name Nicki cause my scum ball niece-in-law is now living with my brother and this sounds like something that skank would do!!!

If not, don't tell cause my nephew committed suicide cause he had suspicions that his wife was sleeping with his dad. Now she's living with him-4 months later. She moved in 1 month after then suicide.

What you did was low and I'd just walk away. That's the ultimate betrayal and his father should surely burn...

Answer 11

Don't do it again and do not tell your husband. Sounds to me like you might need to get a divorce if your sleeping around on your husband than you are not happy. OR IF YOU ARE HAPPY..................Look at counseling! at least for yourself.

Not sure your husband will understand nor be willing to forgive you for sleeping with his father!

Good Luck you are going to need it.