Did I do the right thing...???

Question

So I walk into the store today.. and I see my ex-girlfriend, her new boyfriend, and the child we have together... He pushing my child in the cart. So I walked back out, as I didn't wanna really see my ex at the time. So I walk off and I text her, "Why is that fat boy pushing my son?" and she goes, "F u" and I go "Whatever" and she says, "I'm sorry he's more of a dad than you are" and I laugh at her and just leave it alone..

Did I do the right thing, or not?

Answer 1

No, insulting her boyfriend is probably not the best way to deal with the situation. Try growing up...

Answer 2

Andrew,

This may be hard for you but you really need to consider what's best for your son. Providing mom is not bringing many men into your sons' life, then let it go. Why? I will tell you why. Your son can benefit from 3 or 4 parents loving him, 4 is if you are or decide to get into a serious relationship. I do know it's difficult but you have to do what is best for your son. Instead of reacting like you did, maybe what you should have done was walk up, say "hello", and talk and play with your son for a moment. What this would have done was instill in the BF that you do love your son and that he don't have to try to take your place. This country is made up of many blended families and it can be all good providing all parents work together for the sake of the child(ren). Good luck and please take the time to rethink this situation. Also, if momma says he's a better daddy than you, you better make sure you are doing what your suppose to do from child support to visits.

Mary in Beulah, MI. USA

Answer 3

Sometimes in life, one insult can be deserving of another.
I wouldn't have quite said what you said in that exact choice of words. I think the most important issue here is if your son is in good hands, both in the case of being cared for by your ex girlfriend and in the company of her new boyfriend.
If she feels you are not doing enough for your son, then maybe you need to step up to the plate and earn her respect and trust. Only you know if what she said is accurate.

It's too bad that you could not have made things work for the two of you, being that you have brought a son into this world together. But, that's the past, for now.

You have to try and get along with your ex so that you can see your son, and be a part of his life. Since she is your ex, and you are hers, you are both free to choose which men or women you want to date. Sometimes you will not approve, because you are being a protective father.

I also hate to tell you this, but it sounds like you may still have feelings for her. The way you reacted was that of jealousy. You have to come to grips with how you not only may still feel for her, (and if there is even a remote chance you can get back together with her), and how you feel and will feel if she gets really serious with another man and even marries, and how that will affect you and your son. Your son does need a father.

In the future, I would try and control what I say or text to her. Just think about your son, and what is best for him.
And by the way, for what it's worth, she doesn't sound like she is thinking clearly herself, and taking her son into consideration. Dating should not be a priority for a single mother.
Good luck.

Answer 4

well for the both of you being parents your language is horrible and for one you wanted to pick a fight with her there is nothing you can do if she chooses to be with someone else even though you have a child together so i hope you dont do this type of behavior in front of your child it doesnt help things at all what you can do is step up to the plate and be a good dad thats what counts a child wants to know that their dad is their hero especially as they get older

Answer 5

I don't think you did the right thing. I think you should try to be happy when you see her and act like you're happy for her even if you're not. Let it go and just be the good dad that you can be. If the parents can somehow be civil the child will be happier. Good luck.

Answer 6

No you didn't.You could have asked her how she was doing and how your child was doing instead of insulting her new boyfriend.That won't get you any where.And she says "he's more of a dad than you are..."so are you not trying to be part of your child's life? She's moved on now so you can try to at least be civil and share doing things with your child.

Answer 7

No. you shouldnt of texted "why is that fat boy pushing my son" that was rude. and in return you got a rude responce. it really depends on the type of respnce you wanted. if you wanted a negative one, then yes you did it right. if you wanted a positive one then you should of left the whole situation alone.

Answer 8

Nope. You should never have created a child out of wedlock. But now that you have, you need to put your child above all other relationships. Suck it up and man up. Be a good father to your child and stop punishing your ex-girlfriend for it not working out.

Answer 9

You probably did the right thing by avoiding contact, but you should have said, "I saw you in the store. Baby looks darling." You always get more with honey than with vinegar. If you want future contact with your child, you need to "work" the mother, not antagonize her.

Answer 10

Gotta say no. If you're going to start by being snarky why would you expect her to do anything else? Take the high road, be mature. If you want to meet the man who is in your child's life that's one thing, but why be a jerk about it?

Answer 11

No, you screwed up big time.

What gives you the right to be mean to this girl and to insult her new boyfriend?

Very, very immature. Sorry, but you asked.

You need to resolve all the anger you're carrying around.

Good luck.