I went to go visit him for the first time since August.
But in August I tried "tough love" by not responding to his
letter he sent days shortly after our August visit.
I went in to see him today in jail and they told me that
he took me off the list.
My mother and I finally chose to respond to him 2 weeks ago,
and he hasn't written back.
His release date is next month.
Why do you suppose he did this ?
2007-12-27 13:06:12 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
I'm very sorry your brother has such severe problems.
I understand your attempt at "tough love" to try to help, but you must understand that tough love involves cutting off material support, not cutting off contact.
You need to maintain contact with him so that he understands he has a support network available to him. At the same time, you must refuse to provide him material support that enables him to continue screwing up his life.
Try to be available to support him whenever he makes positive choices. Talk to him to support him whenever he is able to accept that kind of support.
Tough love is all about refusing to enable a person's bad habits/addictions/problems. It is not about cutting them off.
Take care and best of luck to you and your brother,
Adam S
2007-12-27 13:18:02 · answer #1 · answered by Adam 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When someone decides to stop speaking with you, one defense mechanism is taking the stance that "I don't need or want that person in my life anyways". This empowers the person and helps take away the pain caused by abandonment. Even though he did something wrong, completely ignoring him is seen as a betrayal. It will take some work to regain his trust I would imagine.
2007-12-27 13:25:09 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Some times he they need to find it out them selves. He might come around and see what you where doing then he might not and move out of state and do something good.
2007-12-27 13:15:47 · answer #3 · answered by mac 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's planning 'revenge' for what he thinks is your lack of support. You might want to increase your security, preferably of the 9mm variety.
2007-12-27 13:10:44 · answer #4 · answered by dukefenton 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He's obviously mentally disturbed. Most likely he's blaming you and your mother for his own problems.
2007-12-27 13:09:51 · answer #5 · answered by Yak Rider 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I believe your question gave you your answer.
Crack Addict....
2007-12-27 13:09:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
leave him be if he is smart he'll come around
2007-12-27 13:09:26 · answer #7 · answered by adasgt1981 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Be able to please him again so that he will not block you.
2007-12-27 13:10:21 · answer #8 · answered by FRAGINAL, JTM 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋