Ungrateful Christmas!?

Question

I have four boys and one of my son's if forever ungrateful; two years in a row, when grandma asked him what he had received he said that he didn't get anything, which I got him toys. So this year I got him the 3-4 small gifts on his list, he was fine, excited to tell everyone (grandma and uncle about it) But when she gave him 2 gifts he said, ok is this is, is there any more in a very ungrateful way. This question is only for parents and Grandparents, This particular child of mine is almost 7 and is my only child like this, he has older brothers and younger brothers, what is your advice, do I cut out christmas ( don't want to do away totally as the other kids should not be punished, but I want the true meaning of christmas to be understood) I want to instill in my child gratitude, any help?

Thanks for all the wonderful answers as I just want to clear up what I do, I drew up a very nice Santa Letter, they put 4 gifts on it, their age and we go through ToysRus big book and we write down what we want as well as cut pictures out and paste them on back. I then send it to grandparents, to make sure they get what they want (as I got tired of them asking me what they wanted and not having a clue) So I came up with this idea, it works for my boys. That is what we have done the past two years, It is not the quality of things any more it is the quantity with him, he shows no gratitude for what he gets.

I always correct him when he says something that is outright horrid in my eyes, I see to it that they get things on their list because their grandparents ask me what do they want, I was tired of going, dunno. I grew up with much less than my kids have and bounced around due to my parents being dead, I appreciated a candy cane and a bath set and fruit as my only gift was so excited (sad but true) I would never just sit there, just that I see that telling him isn't working, But on the other hand I have already talked to the church about next year helping out the homeless for Thanksgiving and Christmas, thanks for all the wonderful answers!

Why not have them stop writing letters, because it is a fun part of a child christmas, My boys are Cub Scouts and they do community service, We have already signed up for extra community service, It's like saying why not just cut out all fun activities for them all because of my one child who needs to learn a valuable lesson, greedy, no, ungrateful yes, he is old enough to be set straight but young enough to not be sumitted to life inprisionment. Thanks for all the wonderful answers, it was a hard pick.

Answer 1

I would put a package of thank you cards in his stocking next year. Before he opens the next gift he has to write a thank you card for the person who gave him a gift.

I would make him volunteer at a soup kitchen to watch the children that don't have anything.

If he is ungrateful for a toy then tell him that you know children that would be very happy to receive what he has gotten. Make him donate some of his toys after Christmas.

You shouldn't cut out Christmas for this child but show him the season is about giving and not receiving. Be an example yourself by volunteering.

I would talk to him about it's not about how much you receive or what you receive it's the fact that someone has thought about him enough to buy him a gift. He should be grateful because this person went out and spent their hard earned dollars on him when they could have used it for themselves. I would practice with him how to receive a gift.

next year wrap up 24 books about Christmas. Each night get him to pick a book to read and unwrap. However when he is unwrapping it practice with him how he is to receive a gift. Tell him to say thank the person and say something nice about the gift even if he doesn't like it. Explain to him that if he doesn't like something he should still be polite and find something nice about it.

Answer 2

If he is almost 7 he is old enough to be reasoned with. Talk to him about how to be more polite when he recieves a gift. Take him to a shelter or another place where he can see how little under privilaged children get for Christmas.

Maybe your whole family can volunteer at a homeless shelter next year and when you go down there perhaps your children can bring there gently used toys that they no longer play with and give them to the children there. When your son see the gratutude on there faces it will be a lesson he will never forget.

No matter what you do he is too old for you to continue to ignore this behavior. He will end up offending members of your family and that is the last thing you want to have happen.

Answer 3

As a grandparent I don't know the answer, but I saw the same thing with my step-sister's children a few years ago. After opening presents for two solid hours one right after the other the middle child that was probably 7, asked "Is this all we're getting?" I guess what I might do is let them give you a wish list, but make it clear that they will only be getting 3 or 4 or whatever number you choose as gifts.

Answer 4

most children by nature are ungrateful, this christmas i had not spent as much on them as previous years not because i didn't want to , but because i couldn't , but they had a foreign holiday in october and they knew it would be this way and was ok with it at the time ,on christmas morning they weren't disappointed they didn't go without they know mums funds are limited (single working parent)but they were happy with what they had, my advice is not to cut out christmas because that would ruin it for all , but he needs to know the value of gifts and its not about the cost of things but the thought which always counts ,,he's not alone so many children think alike , it hurts , at the time ,maybe a year on from now he will learn the true meaning of christmas and be grateful for anything at all 7 is young btw its pretty normal to feel this way x x

Answer 5

Going through the wish book ,writing letters to santa?Why dont you just say Christmas is all about you and getting you what you want. Its greed and your feeding it.Next year drop those activities and make them go help out in a shelter.Stop the gimmes by focusing on other people and not this lets look at what WE want.Greedy.

Answer 6

it sounds to me as though you contribute to his ungreatfulness. the work you put into making sure your kids get what they want...thats crazy. and you never said how you handle his being so rude. if it were my child I would pull him aside and expalin to him he is lucky he gets anything at all. there are kids out there with nothing. maybe you need to arrange something to show him how fortunate he is to have what he has. like having the family volunteer at a soup kitchen or gathering all your old things and giving them to charity. the reason I say all this is becuase I have an older brother who is 26 (I'm 22) and he is still very ungreatful to this day. always expecting something from someone. always asking for his Christmas money from ym parents early and when they say no he has the nerve to say "well its my money so why cant I have it when I want it?" you dont want your child turning into that. please stop it while you can.

Answer 7

Yes,I agree with the other poster sometimes showing is best then follow thru with it.And if that doesn't change his outlook then I suggest "tough love" I really feel for you,I have a sister the same way.After years of getting my feelings hurt,I just quit giving her anything.Hope your New Year is brighter.

Answer 8

Maybe you can take him to help out at a homeless shelter and show him how fortunate he is to have a wonderful family and the wonderful things he does receive.

Answer 9

im 12 ur son sounds like he is unhappy talk to him about why he wasnt very happy with the things he got i really think he has somthing bothering him and it is depressing him so ask him y he wasnt happy this or last christmas