control me or drag me down and they are not giving me any enjoyment and i am totally depressed want can i do. i am 46 and want more out of life than this
2007-12-27 12:10:18 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Are ALL the people around you taking advantage of you? Then YOU are the problem. Asking general questions on yahoo isn't going to make this stop. And why do other people need to GIVE YOU enjoyment? That is your own job. What do you have to offer in exchange? If you have little to offer then of course you will recieve little. People don't need to change to suit you, you need to change to suit you.
2007-12-27 12:26:38 · answer #1 · answered by rustyoldma 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you need to ask yourself is this: 1. How do I define happiness? 2. What do I expect from other people? 3. How willing I am to get what I want?
Once you can answer those questions, reevaluate your priorities. Are you willing to readjust your expectations from these people in order to achieve a certain amount of satisfaction? For example, let's say you have friends who always complain and complain, so instead of letting his miseries affect you, you can smile and give him enough time to rant and firmly move on to the next topic. If you and your friends don't share similar interests, you can join a club where you can correspond with those who share similar interests. And if your coworkers give you a hard time at work and you can't ignore this person, ask if you can relocate to another department or a new location. Explain to your supervisor that you need the change because your coworkers affect your work performance.
Like you said, you want more out of life than what you're having, so find out what you want. A helpful way is to write down your goals and purposes. Look at them often and visualize them frequently. You will eventually get there.
2007-12-27 12:30:53 · answer #2 · answered by verisimilitude 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem is this. You keep trying to find happiness. STOP LOOKING. I am being serious. You can't find happiness in other people it has to come from within. So stop looking to other people for your happiness create your own. Find things that you enjoy doing. Hobbies, work, volunteer, what ever it is that makes you feel happy and that you enjoy. then go about doing them. When you put yourself in situations that make you happy you then are also surrounding yourself with people with the some of the same interests that you have. Because you are happy while doing you become more approachable to these people. Before you know it you have formed new friends with like interests that enjoy spending time with you for who you are.
2007-12-27 12:18:13 · answer #3 · answered by D and G Gifts Etc 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are not attracting this type of person but in a way you are--people see you as a challenge to control (I'll guess). You need to take stock of yourself, change how you live, and create who YOU want to be. Go to bars? Stop, and find an interesting group. Date control freaks? Stop dating until you really decide what YOU want (no kidding it works). Have lousy friends? Don't stop seeing but stop interacting with you so much and remove their influence.
Harsh I know, but it works. Find a new passion--a museum, a botanical garden, chess, etc. that excites YOU. A good volunteer group will also help you gain perspective, and meet other good people. Email me if you want to discuss further.
2007-12-27 12:16:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anna P 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know this is going to sound horrid but it's something I have personally been going through for years, so I feel that I can say honestly, it's not the other peoples fault, it's ours, we allow them to do these things, we get into distructive relationships with these people, we don't value ourselves, so why the hell should they. First and foremost you have to break away from the victim syndrome, reolise that we can't expect anyone else to value us if we don't value ourselves, take time out, get some councelling, there is no quick fix solution to these things, but they do get better when we spend time sorting out the mess in our heads. We have a choice to continue the cycle or break it. Be strong and I hope you find happiness
2007-12-27 12:22:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can't find happiness when you look for it at work, or in friendships, or in relationships.
You can find it when you are happy with yourself.
Like Glenda the Good Witch tells Dorothy, "There's no place like home." (Dorothy had the power all along....)
2007-12-27 12:20:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Try to find new groups of people to socialize with: clubs, community organizations, church groups perhaps, a bowling league.
Or do new things such as skiing, ice skating, etc
Anything to meet new and different people will help.
2007-12-27 12:16:35 · answer #7 · answered by Matt D 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
why do you need people!! to enjoy your life? there's loads to enjoy out there. let people come to you. (and try to be a little choosy)
2007-12-27 12:52:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
quit looking it will find u and in the meantime figure out what u want , who u really r, and where u giong
2007-12-27 12:22:51 · answer #9 · answered by Psychologist In The House 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i've been here myself.. some people will probably say that you've trying too hard, i think it's more to do with you being too nice, people taking advantage of your good nature....sadly it sometimes does us good to show our bad side every now and then
2007-12-27 12:15:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋