I'm curious how often a woman ends up leaving the husband for her lover if she continues for mths. to lie to her husband about where she has been or who she has been with. If he does not suspect anything can she be lieing to her lover that she plans on asking her husband for a divorce just so she keeps the lover hanging on? If she truely wants to be with the lover why not end the marriage instead of sneaking around if their are no children involved. Also, do men (the lover) hang on indefinitely for her to leave her husband? It's hard for me to believe that a mans ego would put up with the woman going home to her husband every night & only getting to see her now & then (never during holidays, etc) for a long period of time. Also, eventually if the woman does leave her husband can the lover really trust her that she won't cheat on him eventually too. The saying "once a cheater, always a cheater" would be in the back of my mind.How often do these relationships really work in the end?
2007-12-27 11:51:44 · 12 answers · asked by Mary B 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No matter who is having the affair - a husband or a wife - whether or not it eventually "fades away" or ends that marriage depends on the "reason" that spouse cheated in the first place.
A habitual cheater - cheats just because and should never be married.
Someone who's going through a really rough spot in their marriage, fighting all the time and finds a friend or confidante of the opposite sex ... that friendship may or may not lead to an affair, but IF it does, it's a 50/50 chance the "cheater" will leave their marriage. Remember, the marriage already had problems - so it's possible the "cheater" may decide those problems will be worse now.
In all honesty, it doesn't only matter why the person has the affair. It also matters what happens between the 2 having the affair - if they have a "real" relationship, it's more than likely that the marriage will end.
Some marriages are lucky and once the affair ends, the married couple are able to put it behind them and move on - even having a better and stronger marriage.
As for the "lover" - again it depends on how deep the relationship is/was. If there's possibility of the marriage ending, s/he might hang on and wait for their "partner" to come to them.
Once a cheater, Always a cheater - that line is such a crock!
Not every person who cheats is a habitual cheater - some have issues or circumstances that "push" them, and that "push" is all it takes for them to make a mistake. But unlike a habitual cheater, the person who makes a mistake has the ability to learn from it - and never repeat it.
If the marriage holds together, it takes lots of trust and respect from both people to make it work. If it falls apart, obviously one or both of the people involved were not able to get past the affair. There is no "stereo-type" when it comes to affairs. I've seen many friends and family members go through affairs and the effects of one. No one is the same. Sure, it starts with someone cheating - that's where all similarities end. Entire families fall apart, or they pull together. Life happens - make sure you make the best of it.
2007-12-27 13:18:41 · answer #1 · answered by Lady Ariana 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The majority of the time the affair never works out even if the wife or husband who is cheating get divorced to be with the other person. The main reason is the relationship started wrong in the first place that's not even taking in account for morals and integrity and honesty which all relationships need to stay healthy. Most cheaters end up losing everything there friends there family and the important self respect. Personally I think all cheaters get exactly what they deserve......
2007-12-27 12:07:09 · answer #2 · answered by miester44 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you describe is a common pattern for both men and women. They like the intrigue of the illicit affair, it adds some excitement to what they view as a dull, routine life, but they want to hang onto the security of marriage, and may actually love their spouse. And yes their lover often hangs on for years hoping they will leave their spouse (saw a man posting here recently who had been the "other man" for 3 years).
These relationships may not work if they ever really get together, because the entire reason they were attracted to each other is gone. Once they become involved in marriage, everything gets to be a dull, routine again.
2007-12-27 12:00:27 · answer #3 · answered by ScSpec 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am not that well versed in this type of affair, but I would say that it would be fair to say that it probably averages out about the same regarding who does the cheating. It depends on how deep anyone's emotions go as to whether or not a person would put up with any of that nonsense. No matter what, everyone does eventually get hurt. Hope this helps.
2007-12-27 11:58:49 · answer #4 · answered by ThanksJustWondering 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she don't love her husband why don't she leave and divorce him so that they do not have to cheat? There is no trust in a cheater because you trust people based on honor and integrity. I broke up with a woman I loved, but could not stand anymore. I am now with someone else. The woman I broke up with used to cheat on her man to come to me. I was a damn fool. She cheated on me with a 'doctor'. I did not cheat in my old relationship. I do not cheat now. Coincidencies? I broke up before I dated....Peace
2007-12-27 12:09:50 · answer #5 · answered by highthoughts 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some do & some don't! Once you have something on her she will make it seem as if it was your fult and get mad at you,because you have everything that she done. Or, she will not care and feel that she has something better else where.She has that thrill going on, best of both worlds.At some point one or both of her worlds will end harshly.
2007-12-27 12:42:16 · answer #6 · answered by pedebeed 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as if your'e BORED!!! Ask yourself this question. why lie to yourself? is it worth it? maybe i'm wrong in assuming this; but, why are you worried about thier feelings...if you're not happy then just go and start over..... but remember this.... you need to be for real with yourself.. you'll be lucky to make someone else happy.
2007-12-27 12:19:22 · answer #7 · answered by john w 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they don't work and you answered all your questions..and he has someone when she isn't around... and as far as the ego thing this is the perfect setup for a guy ..when he See's her it's all about sex.. and then she leaves.....
2007-12-27 12:03:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did I stumble into "The Young and the Restless" or "Days of our Lives"? and how do I find "Little House on the Prairie"?
2007-12-27 11:58:26 · answer #9 · answered by TatersPop 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
women and men both cheat and it is totally wrong!
2007-12-27 12:01:12 · answer #10 · answered by lele 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋