Women: Generally, in what areas do you distrust men?

Question

And how do you deal with it?

I don't trust men when it comes to staying faithful. This is due to events that happened when I was a child, my relationships, and somewhat believing that there may be truth to the polygamous nature in men and being weak if it drops on his lap at the right time and place. I had to make peace with it though. So having accepted this as a possibility in any relationship, I try to keep the communication open, look out for warning signs of dissatisfaction, distance etc., even keep an open mind that I may have to let him go do his thing if we both agree on it. Finally, if everything fails, how to deal with it with minumum damage to my future children, them thinking any less of their father and their lives falling apart. I'd rather protect myself this way than going through the stress of being resentful towards men, getting controlling or living in denial of him (wanting to) cheating.

I'm curious how others deal with these things

Please don't discuss my personal feelings/opinions, rather share your own. This is not to discuss who is more likely to cheat. I'm fully aware how/why women cheat.

And if you don't have any distrust issues, this question wouldn't apply to you :)

LOL! I have a shrink, don't need counseling. I simply shared to give an example but I'm intersted in knowing YOUR story, if you have distrust issues, if not, this question is not for you.

Kendrick: thank you. I will put up a similar question for men. I believe men can rightfully have trust issues also. Possiblity of cheating included and I know better than claiming women don't cheat. I think we're smarter about it and rarely get caught though.

Manwhore: with a name like yours, you're just providing yourself as a reference to this question, why even bother to type anything up LOL

Answer 1

Isn't it interesting that the counter-question to this is getting so many more answers than this one? I always thought that women generally had more trust issues w/ men than the other way around.

Anyway, in a friendship with a man I usually am very trusting of them.

However, in a relationship I'm VERY cautious that he may he using me for sex.. That's where the distrust comes in. Other than that, I think I'm pretty trusting of the people who I am in relationsips w/.

Oh, and I've been kinda distrusting with their loyalty after I was cheated on..

Answer 2

Distrust Of Men

Answer 3

i distrust women in putting their superficial tendencies aside and treating us fairly. of course, this is also something lot of women distrust men to do. this is an area where i distrust people in general. it doesn't apply to EVERYONE, but most people will treat people, particularly members of the opposite sex, based on the way they look. i don't believe that i will ever be treated the same as my cute friend- not by the girls in our class, not by female teachers, not by female residence hall advisors, not by waitresses at a restaurant, not by our friends' moms, not by girls either of us randomly try to flirt with. i just don't trust women in this area. that is why i am so worried about the way i look.

Answer 4

I trust openly, until someone gives me a reason why I shouldn't, and gender plays no part. One thing that I don't like is when someone lies to me and assumes that I'm none the wiser.
To trust openly takes pressure off me and leaves it all up to the other person. If that person makes the mistake of betraying my trust then by me being an open book/wearing heart on my sleeve, it's better to find out about the betrayal sooner rather than later when there'd be more damage.

Answer 5

I still have a hard time containing myself in a crowded room full of strangers. I maintain a very large personal space, and if someone approaches me from behind, I get very nervous. It is an aftershock of rape... So, I surround myself with male friends, who I trust completely, because they had never disappointed me.

In my personal life I had never had a problem with infidelity. The reason could be that I had always made sure that we are friends, before we had an intimate relationship. Men value their friendships much more than any sexual thrill of the moment. It also could of been, that I was lucky enough not to get involved with a cheating dog of a man. I have no idea.
However, you are a gorgeous and a brilliant lady, so it was not your fault. Your ex must of felt like he was not man enough for you, that is why he cheated. Use your past experience as a lesson, and learn from it. Do not expect infidelity, because it is not something every married lady has to experience. World is full of loyal and wonderful single men. You deserve man like that, so do not settle for anything less. Good luck sweetheart!

Answer 6

I think many men have the same issue you've suggested towards men. All my friend's wives cheated on them, and my ex did, along with numerous married women hitting on me sexually when I go out(I turn them down!). It is difficult when just over 50% of people ADMIT they cheat on surveys(men and women are equal in surveys from recent years). Sometimes you just have to throw your hands up, and have fun despite the mess. (Dance, tell a dirty joke, or just smell the ocean air at night.). There are plenty of men who don't lie or cheat (I've never cheated, even going back to Jr. High, and I've always had a girlfriend)

I apologize for entering this 'for women only' question, but thought that I would share insight.

Answer 7

I don't trust men to do as they're asked. They can't seem to remember to do the stuff you need done in addition to their own. You send them to the supermarket with a list and they come back with God knows what.

Deep in my heart and soul, no matter how much I love and feel loved in return, I'll never exhale.

Answer 8

interesting question. since i have never really been in a relationship, the cheating thing was never a concern of mine, but as i get older, i can easily imagine myself being like you. at this pont, i'm not convinced that everyone may cheat, but i am not convinced that anyone does not feel anything when they encounter an attractive person of the opposite sex. that is why i'll never believe that i will ever get the same treatment from women as cute guys do.

Answer 9

OMG...why do you sound like my twin. I am the exact same way. I am very skeptical of men because I do think they will if put in the right position, I don't care how his woman look, total package, etc. I just still believe that it's in their nature.

It's not because I've been through a bad experience that has me this way, I just know that women and men differ and to be honest, men when put in the right situation at the right time, they will fall victim.

.....these are my thoughts and they have truly saved me from being "a fool in love".

Answer 10

I didn't trust my ex husband when it came to women and I had every right. He had a wondering eye, and I'm not exactly handicapped in any way. I actually found some feathers that belonged to a hot pink boa on the passenger seat of my car. That's when sexy time stopped, I went to the law library and got my divorce papers in order. I left him; I just took my books and my PC, two things he never touched anyway. Now, my mother thinks he feels sorry, but I don't look back on things like that.

My current bf I trust completely with women. He kinda flirts, but he does it right in front of me, and it's usually a silly joke, totally harmless. I don't trust him to finish stuff up around the house. Like the crown molding he STILL has to finish - one tiny little piece in the closet. Which reminds me, I have to give him a hard time about that tonight. Thanks ;-)