I've been married 1 year and I have known my wife for nearly 14 years. When we got married last year we had been going out for 8 years. I truly love my wife. I realise most will laugh at this and won't believe it at all, but that's the truth. I can't imagine ever living without her or leaving her.
However I want to have an affair. Unfortunately my wife is not the most sexual person and ironically I happen to be the most over sexed man on earth! I want to find someone who I can have a purely physical relationship with. Is this wrong? Should I somehow learn to control my sexual needs and be happy with my (nearly) perfect wife?
I live in Manchester, UK and would love to meet women who are interested. Is there a website that I can use to meet women?
2007-12-27 11:36:49 · 22 answers · asked by gunslinger_born_19 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thanks to everyone for your answers (especially the non-judgmental ones). I guess it's more or less unanimous: have an affair and you will get caught!
A few things I'd like to add is that our sex life is fine. We watch porn while having sex and I have bought her quite a few sex toys. And (for that person who suggested that my wife has never had an orgasm) she has orgasms almost every time we have sex - either by me or by her self. So the issue here is really me - I just want more.
I guess like one someone said, I'm being a pompous ***, to think that I wouldn't get caught. I have met a few women online who I chat regularly with and have "fun" with - so I guess I was hoping that a real life affair would be equally easy...
2007-12-27 12:13:09 · update #1
Sorry guys just adding this to bump it up the list...
2007-12-27 12:37:36 · update #2
If you are prepared to satisfy your "needs" outside of your marriage, and not tell your wife, you DO NOT LOVE HER FULLY. You are saying that you have the right to be selfish, to lie to her, to take some of what you promised her, and give it to someone else.
If you love her stay faithful - in thought and in deed. If not, tell her, and let it be her decision as to whether or not you two continue your marriage. Anything else is dishonest.
If you need to get help with your perception that you are over-sexed.
2007-12-27 11:44:52 · answer #1 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
OK you should not have the affair and end this marriage. Why did you marry her in the first place, I mean after 14 years dating you must have known that she did not like/want sex with you.
Face up to the facts, she can't love you AND not want to have sex with you. That just does not add up. Drop the idea of an affair, and start working on the divorce, what will you do 5 years or 20 years from now when she wants to have even less sex with you ? Will you live your life by having affair after affair ? Wouldn't you want to just cut bait now and find a woman who has a sex drive to match yours ? Or at least cares enough about you to try and satisfy you ?
Take the high road my friend leave so that both of you can find someone you are more compatible with for the long haul.
2007-12-27 19:50:18 · answer #2 · answered by Average Joe 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ok, there are a few things you need to know. If you decide to go thru with an extra-marital affair it will end your marriage. I don't know if your willing to risk that or not, but she will eventually find out. Women aren't stupid. If your wife is so perfect you really shouldn't be thinking about ways to commit adultry and when you married her, you vowed to be faithful to her. Just because it wouldn't be "emotionally attaching" it is still classified as what it is, cheating. I really believe that you shouldn't have gotten married in the first place, and your wife does not deserve to be treated that way, even you thinking about this is absurd. I suggest that you find ways to make your sex life more exciting and talk to her about ways you can.. maybe even going to an adult store would help liven that up. I think you should really evaluate the situation before you do anything you'll regret. And if your not happy (sexually) still you should probably seek separation or divorce so you don't hurt your wife anymore than you could by cheating. Good Luck!
2007-12-27 19:46:58 · answer #3 · answered by Louise 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not that your wife isn't sexual, the problem is with you. Have you ever thought about finding out from you wife what it is that pleasures her? I would just about bet she's never had an orgasm with you.
Oh...she has. Right....she lied...
I was married to 2 different men for a total of 17 years. Never had an orgasm with either of them.....well, they think I did.
Guy I'm with now....had more than my fair share of orgasms.
Your wife will enjoy and demand sex more if you'll just find out what her needs are. Try watching her masturbate. You'll learn her technique for personal satisfaction....Good Luck and forget about cheating. Your wife will find out and you'll loose the one person who'll love you forever....
2007-12-27 19:51:49 · answer #4 · answered by rabbit4041 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If sex is so important to you then you need to talk to your wife and tell her that you still find her so hot and attractive and still yearn to make love to her. If she still refuses then tell her that you are thinking about having an affair because of lack of intimacy. That would put a light bulb in my head. I think it is wrong if you go out and betray your wife. If you are not happy sexually then you need to either go to coucelling with your wife or divorce her. There is no need to be cheating.
2007-12-27 21:01:33 · answer #5 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
use cash, stay at hotels on the other side of town, hang out in a different town with her, dont call her from your cell or your house, use a pay phone or from work, dont email her from your personal PC (No contact trhough the house) let your wife meet her and then dog her as so ther is no question of you feeling sorry for her or you liking her. Let her become frinds with your wofe so that you can see her often too. Many many others too.. she has to want to keep it quiet for it to work properly too. That is most important.
2007-12-27 21:58:20 · answer #6 · answered by Johnny C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a divorce and move on. Even considering an affair means you married the wrong person. If you truly loved her, you would talk to her about your issues and work it out.
2007-12-27 19:41:08 · answer #7 · answered by Meg 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You may infect your precious wife with HIV. Maybe some other STD. The vibe between the two of you WILL change. You'll be lying to her and she'll know something isn't right. You will tell on yourself and not even realize it. If she isn't the one then except it. Let her go. You're about to F*** up!!!!
2007-12-27 19:53:36 · answer #8 · answered by Raven 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have a suggestion... talk to your wife... you are adults right? let her know what things you would like to see in that part of your life!! don't tell her what she's doing wrong just say " hey i would really like it if you did this next time..." if you really love your wife as much as you say then why risk losing her? would that affair justify her leaving you... because most likely thats what will happen... TRUST ME TALK TO HER ABOUT IT!!!
2007-12-27 19:48:15 · answer #9 · answered by Jayden Ryan's Mommy :) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just don't get caught. I wouldn't go out of my way to have an affair but if that's what you have to do to keep your sex life and your love life balanced, DO NOT GET CAUGHT.
2007-12-27 21:24:17 · answer #10 · answered by Kitty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋