How to respond to selfish/rude comments from a friend?

Question

I have been texting back and forth with my closest friend today and when i explained that I am doing stuff with some cousins and won't be able to see her before she leaves on vacation this weekend for a week, and she has begun making selfish comments on how i spend too much time with family. I spend more time with this girl than anyone. To say that I spend too much time with my family when she wants to hang out with me is illogical and stupid.

But what do I say back? I should I just not text her back and let her cool her heels, avoid an arguement? I should I text her back? Any help please!

Answer 1

This is a difficult situation because your "friend" is making you choose between her and your family. You need to set some boundaries and remember that whatever you choose is your right. I would empathize with her saying something like...." I know its annoying that i spend so much time with my family, especially when i wont be able to see you for a while.... ( Then be assertive).... BUT you are both important to me and right now im choosing to spend time with them. I will see you soon. She should respect your decision. Good luck
Dr. Max S.

Answer 2

Be the bigger person and more of an adult! Don't say anything...... Why make a situation worst or even argue? Nip the entire situation as you said and let her heels cool off! Because it can destroy a friendship and it's not that deep to destroy a friendship over something so petty! Wait a day or two and call her with general conversation as if nothing is wrong don't discuss the text and if she draws back to the ignorant statement just say very nicely, I called to talk to my good friend not about my family! So when are we going out for drinks and nip it in the bud as if it doesn't bother you! If that doesn't work then sometimes in life you may have out grown your friends! I should know this pass year I got married and I have lost several!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 3

Definitely text her back, but try humor first - she might just be in a really posessive mood and maybe you can jolly her out of it. Or maybe, if you can't think of anything amusing to say, just say how much you appreciate that she likes you that much, and how grateful you are for her friendship, and that you'll be really looking forward to seeing her after she gets back from vacation. Keep it light and positive, and try to avoid panic or resentment, as often friends go a little weird on each other but usually come out of it sooner or later.

Answer 4

You don't have to explain anything to her, though I don't think that she's being illogical, she's just dependent on you. If she doesn't like the amount of time you spend together then she can decided to relax or break up with you. When she says something like that you could just ignore it, or explain you spend as much time as you can with her, which is the truth. Don't bother telling her to get a life. Hopefully she'll figure out that you have one.

Answer 5

well tell her how you feel....situations like these aren't the best to deal with, tell her ..the truth because then shell keep doing it over and over again she kinda seems really clingy. Tell her how you feel about her saying these things because you should express yourself with your feelings and if she doesn't like the fact that your spending time with you family.then shes not a true friend. text her back because she really needs to hear this. i know friends are important i mean there important to me to but family is also and she should realize how hard it is to balance the life of friendship and family. friendship are forever but Family is beyond. shes gonna be there but you need to spend time with your family to because theve always been there 4 you! try to avoid an agrument!but state that you do care about her its just you need to spend sometime with your family. sorry if this is to long. i just started this xD

Answer 6

She is one of those posessive, jealous people that really get under my skin.
Tell her that she does not own you, and to be jealous that you are spending time with your family is just ridiculous.
Let her know that she needs to have more respect for you instead of being completely selfish, and let you do what makes you happy for a change!
Write her a text and say that next time you see her, you want to have a serious talk about her insecurities.
Or just ignore her.....She's a moron.

Answer 7

I have found (MUCH easier said than done) that honesty is the best policy. It's never easy to confront a friend but to let the way you feel fester for days it's not the way to go. This friend obviously cares for you a great deal and is finding it very hard to "share" you, whether you are with your family or not. Try and understand how he/she feels and explain that you have more than enough love to go around for everyone. Explain to her that she is hurting your feelings....

Answer 8

Wow that's really not cool to attack you like that when you can and do hang out with her all the time as it is. I would just say that family is family and family comes first and hit her back with stuff like that. If she hears that she might realize what your saying. If not...maybe she shouldnt be your friend.

Answer 9

That's a good question actually. I usually say something like Uh. Okay. Nice! In a sarcastic way. But it sounds better in swedish. I don't think that it would sound so good to say it in english. It sounds kinda weird now when I read it... Just say something a little bit rude but still in a goofy kind of way. That's what I do.

Answer 10

the best thing to do is put the phone down and step away from it. if you start texting to and forth you will have a big row there on your hands so the best thing to do is avoid contact with this person for the next few days or so.

My boyfriend and i got caught doing that the text row and it nearly split us up so put the phone down and step away from the phone.

Dont reply to texts as it might cause a huge row between you and your mate.

Good luck with this.