I have a friend who treats me as a fill-in for when her husband is busy. In other words, whenever her husband is with his friends, on the computer, or otherwise occupied, she calls me. Then as soon as he stops what he's doing...she says she has to go. Sometimes she's on the phone for as little as five minutes. What makes me mad is that I told her that this is what another friend of mine use to do and that's why me and that other friend stopped hanging out. Don't get me wrong, I have plenty of friends who are married and don't begrudge them time with their husbands, but I'm a human being, not a damn crossword puzzle you pick up during a commercial break. Or am I being too sensitive? Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if she didn't actually start conversations with "____ is off with his friends, so I decided to call you" or "___ won't get off the computer, so I thought I'd see what you were up to". Should I even try to talk to her AGAIN about the situation or just drop her?
2007-12-27 11:18:15 · 9 answers · asked by unchienne 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I've been less talkative on the phone with this friend, but should I try talking to her again, or should I just drop her? I suppose I can try and salvage the friendship, but can a friendship be salvaged when you criticize on this level? And when a second (again...SECOND) reminder is given, do you think she's going to actually follow it this time?
2007-12-27 11:24:30 · update #1
You have every right to not want to be treated as a fill in. What you need to do is stand up and say "If you want to be my friend you have to be my friend all the time, not just when you feel like it." and if she ignores you and won't talk to you, then she never was your friend.
2007-12-27 11:25:40 · answer #1 · answered by nathan920ca 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The key to a good friendship is honesty.
Don't tell her over the phone, thats just not right.
Ask if she would like to meet up, if she says no, well, I think you might have to end it.
If she says yes, explain to her how you feel and stress that you're only telling her because you want to improve and strengthen the relationship.
See how it goes from there!
Good luck chica!
2007-12-27 11:22:28 · answer #2 · answered by mikoashinakowu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this has recently happened to me, from a high school friend, that disappeared from life and then came back into it, claiming to be a good friend....she just out of the blue quit emailing me, and i have made the choice to wait it out, and see what she does....so i suggest you kind of keep busy, and just be too busy for her for awhile, and wait and see what happens....then you might want to tell her that hey, you hurt my feelings, by saying this all the time, and i just dont think you value our friendship....some woman have to put their men first, above all else, ..i do believe in valueing your relationship, but i think t here is room for balancing the t wo, woman friendships, and husband, or s.o...
2007-12-27 11:25:29 · answer #3 · answered by langford53 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have that happen all the time but I dont mind because I take the time I can and let the other go you have to life is to short
2007-12-27 11:23:07 · answer #4 · answered by Chloe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
of course ur not being unreasonable...i think that is kinda rude of ur friend to want to talk to u just because her husband is busy .i'd try to metion it again but maybe in person.
GoOd LuCk!
2007-12-27 11:24:54 · answer #5 · answered by js4565 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When my friend would say her husband
just came in, I hung up.
That way she didn't have to ever
hear him complain about us talking on the phone.
2007-12-27 11:34:07 · answer #6 · answered by elliebear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what your feeling is totally normal.
2007-12-27 11:21:55 · answer #7 · answered by Boston 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no thats not unreasonable at all.
2007-12-27 11:21:15 · answer #8 · answered by Kyra <3 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no not unreasonable
2007-12-27 11:20:06 · answer #9 · answered by Brad R 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋