Wife cheating online, lost interest in friends and family, controlling with sex?

Question

Hi, i am going to make this short nd hope that someone can help me with a posisble solution. I have been married for about 17 years. My wife over the years has lost alot of interest in sex , no forplay, nothing and when i ask her she tells me she does not like to be told when and how. So i fill its is all on her terms only, when and how. Also, she has no interest in going to friens homes when invited for the holidays and no interest in having them vist at are home. I am very lonley and fell left out. she only wants to do things at homw with just or to boys. Even my boys now say to me that they have no interest in other family members or friends. Also , I think my wife could be cheating again because she had an affair with a man about 6 years ago and it lasted about 6 months. For some reason she was VERY open about sex at that time. I miss all the family get togetehrs and friends. Our home is very lonley place. I am a people person. PLEASE HELP ,, ANY IDEAS.. SHE JUST TURNED 40 !!

Answer 1

One way to find out whats happening online is by placing a keylogger on a computer, a keylogger records every single thing that happens on a computer and at times is evidence in a divorce!!!! I had the same problem with my girlfriend about 6 months ago. I bought KeyProwler, which is a very good and inexpensive Keylogger engine and much more. it not only does keylogging, but takes screenshots and emails you logs even when you do not have access to the program! check it out...I like KeyProwler because it is very simple to use and not overly complicated like the other keylogging software. I found out that she was talking to guys online and i got her myspace username and password and i printed it off directly from the program and when she came home i had the evidence right there and i broke it off with her....best decision i have ever made!!!!
here is the address : http://www.keyprowler.com

Answer 2

I could say that the obvious reason is that she is having a "mid-life" crisis. However, I am not sure this is the main factor in the deterioration of your relationship.

What it sounds like to me is that your wife is bored with life and has decided (again) to bring another man into her life. Her distance is a true sign.

I know you do not want to leave this woman since you are one here looking for ways to find a solution. The only answer is for you and your wife to go to marriage counseling. Otherwise, there is no other reason for you to stay. 17 years is a long time, but a lifetime of unhappiness is definitely not worth it.

Good Luck

Answer 3

When getting cheated on and no one suffers any consequences then most likely they are going to do it again. I am not saying this is what she is doing. I think she might be a bit depressed. Turning 40 is not a good thing for most women. Are you making her feel special outside of the bedroom. You two should be going out with just the two of you at least twice a month. You both should be involved with the kids if they are biological or not. Both should be helping around the house doing chores. Women are like ovens we like to be warmed up for most of the time. Try doing some romantic things for her and try not to expect to get sex in return. She should be making you feel special as well and contribute to all aspects of the marriage. If she feels she is missing something it should be up to her to tell you and for you to listen. You should be telling her as well.

Answer 4

Sounds like things are really on the rocks. Have you tried to talk to her openly without being cross and angry? I know it may be difficult but you both seem very resentful. Especially as you say she had an affair, maybe you didn't sort this out completely and its bad vibes are still lingering about causing all sorts of undertones. You can't bury something like that under the carpet. It raises its head like a creepy demon everytime an issue arises. (I know as I have been in a similar situation with my ex who cheated on me). I ended up getting a divorce after 26 years of marriage. I waited for the kids to get a bit bigger and really and truly I fell out of love with him, I could never trust him and always felt betrayed and hurt, no matter how he tried to make it up to me, I couldn't forgive him and despised him.
With you - its the other way around. I can only suggest trying to get her to go to counseling, I didn't and the problem was left to get worse. I was also just in my mid 30's when he fooled about, and we dragged the problem a further decade before we broke up. By then it was too late. Go for counseling, talk to her. It sounds so familiar to me, good luck and there is happiness one way or another, you just have to find a way of getting there, and sometimes it gets worse before it gets better.

Answer 5

Sounds like this situation is very unhealthy. She has cheated before and is very uncaring about what your needs are in the relationship. Because she has stepped out on you before you are going out of your mind trying to read her actions to determine whether or not you are the only one or whether she is just having an affair again and just trying to dish out quickly to keep you quiet. The best thing is to face her... I would suggest that you ask her to attend counseling with you... If she truly values you and your marriage she will agree... Both of you need to feel comfortable and have your needs met in the relationship... If she wants this relationship with you she will also have to make the time to talk to you and do her part.

Answer 6

Dude,
Time to put your foot down.
40 years old and you have yet to be in control of your own marriage.
Put a stop to this and put some serious demands for change out there.
Are you willing to live like this for the next 30 years?
You do not have to accept this. She treats you like this because you let her.
Sir, you will be better served to quit kissing her butt.

Man up and take charge.

Until you make it clear that you are tired of the crap and have reached your limit, she will continue to treat you shabbily.

Answer 7

Start going to the family get togethers. If she doesn't want to go, that' s her problem. Maybe she'll wake up and smell the coffee if she sees you going out and doing things all the time. If she doesn't, maybe you'll wise up and get somebody that you deserve. Good luck. You sound like a nice guy.

Answer 8

oh no im really sorry for you.

you need to confront her and tell her how you are feeling, do it when your sons arent around so it doesnt upset them, ask her to put you straight, say you want to know what she wants and if she wants to carry on with you, tell her how you feel alone and left out and that you miss the family, go visit your family and friends more with your sons (they are probably just not interested because their mother is showing no interest); but make sure you visit your family: you may need them.

ask her if she is cheating again, tell her that you are not happy and that you need to talk, if you want to continue this relationship tell her you want to try to make it right but you have to do this TOGETHER.

she may be depressed too, ask her if she feels depressed and talk about getting help say you wil be there for her, also discuss marriage counselling, tel her it is good for any marriage even marriages that have few problems.

good luck and remember to talk to her and try talkin to your sons too about evrythn that is goin on in their lives and see how they feel.

Answer 9

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Answer 10

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