My parents stay out of my business, and his mother is not happy. He has had a bad past and almost died a few times. I am the best person that ever came into his life and he in mine we really are happy and plan to marry. Possibly have a baby (he has two) and I have two but we want our own someday. Only problem is with my age someday is now. Can someone help? I want to go to church with him and be accepted as his lady but dont know where to begin. Im not disgusting and this is not gross. We have real love those of you that think this is gross or disgusting have you ever had real true love? I have been married two times and the last was abusive. My boyfriend is kind, caring, compasionete, and knows how to provide. yes he is young but I know alot of older men that cant do half of what i mentioned. I'm lookin for your comments please and advice. I believe in time his mom will come around she just wants him happy.
2007-12-27 10:31:18 · 9 answers · asked by j 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Honestly.....
I am not going to judge you. But here are my honest thoughts:
Determine what love really is in your mind. Is it about taking care of a guy or just finding some one you really think loves you too.
Your past builds fear of being hurt. He is still a young man who doesn't know how to be a mature adult.
I met a young man. We fell in love. We dated, and eventually we married. We still love each other very much. But would I do it again?
Frankly no. He had stuff to gain. I had stuff to love. (long story but you can read our history if you would like). It is all good if you look short term.
But the facts remain. Your guy still has to grow up and you are just recouping off of a situation that hurt you badly.
If I could define what real love is...it is loving enough to let someone go...and find their own way.
I am not disgusting. I am educated. I would never date a young man normally. But it happened. And it was done in the name of love. BUT....I would never recommend it. And one day you will see it that way too. Even if his mother did accept you (my mother in law did)
People stare. People judge. And he will hold it against you one day. I promise he will. But he may not tell you. I hope you are strong enough to be the adult here. Love isn't about marriage. Love is about love.
Tread softly. The answer will come to you. As it did to me.
2007-12-27 10:42:56 · answer #1 · answered by kishoti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He cant be mister right! He's 2 young! He could be your son you his mom! You need to let him go and live his life he has so much to do in life for his self and his kids. If you were to marry him how long do you think the honeymoon will last? Not long he hasn't lived like you have all the parties hanging out with friends hooking up with girls. He has to get all of this out his system and he hasn't, the best thing to do is move on you need a break from men period! Married 2x! Just date and someone more along your age and not a kid, and don't think of being married give yourself time.
2007-12-27 18:48:56 · answer #2 · answered by teresa d 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hmm.. I'm not doubting that you sense something real at the moment. However, I'd have to warn you that men have this 'transition period' around the age of 24~30 where their hormonal systems calm down, and their ways of thinking change. Their life goals may take a turn.
Make sure you take those in to consideration, along with what you two are planning to do in terms of career. You may want to ask yourself, and him, if he can stay committed to one person for say 50 more years (assuming the average lifespan is 70 now).
Best wishes to you.
2007-12-27 18:39:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry see I am looking at it thru a mother's eyes (my oldest son will be 21yrs in Jan.). I would not exactly be happy if my son was in a relationship with such an older woman. I would be afraid that you would end up breaking his heart.
I just do not understand what you at 41 years old can have in common with a 19 year old besides sex that is.
His mom wants to protect him as well as have him happy and she sees you as a threat, someone that is preying on her child and will just end up hurting him in the long run.
2007-12-27 18:44:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
There are no perfect relationships. Not even the best of love matches are guaranteed to last forever.Life is short. Do what makes you happy today cause you could get hit by a bus tomarrow.
2007-12-27 20:57:02 · answer #5 · answered by Sunshine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he has 2 kids at 19???????
you cant call it a good relationship just because you are a his Savior.he sounds like a dude with issues.find a better guy.and having more kids at this age is not silly if you were married and had a stable relationship.you have issues too if you think this could work.
2007-12-27 18:43:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Think she 61, he 39? It's going to be MAJOR problem when the 2 of you get older.
2007-12-27 19:14:09 · answer #7 · answered by jeff b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is disgusting! He isn't even old enough to drink! Your going to be dead by the time he reaches your age.
2007-12-27 18:35:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Please marry him as fast as you can!
We need women like you to keep our divorce attorneys fat and wealthy.
Good luck.
2007-12-27 18:38:24 · answer #9 · answered by box of rain 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋