Can I ask my husband for a divorce?

Question

I caught my husband cheating on me and we're now separated. He hasn't decided if he wants a divorce yet. I'm trying to be scripturally correct. The Bible says that its the HUSBAND that gives the wife a certificate of divorce. Is what he's done/doing equal to a certificate of divorce?

Answer 1

Even when adultery is committed a couple can, through God’s grace, learn to forgive and begin rebuilding their marriage. God has forgiven us of so much more. Surely we can follow His example and even forgive the sin of adultery (Ephesians 4:32). It is distressing that the divorce rate among professing Christians is nearly as high as that of the unbelieving world. The Bible makes it abundantly clear that God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16) and that reconciliation and forgiveness should be the marks of a believer’s life (Luke 11:4;] Sadly I don't see any answers suggesting forgiveness, and I see the same old rubbish " If a man cheats once he will cheat again", this is not always true.

Answer 2

Actually the bible allows for divorce by the women as well, It is Judaicly based and so was the Christ.
The most common myth concerning divorce it the "adultry" myth.
When the Christ was asked about the reasons for divorce and it's legalities, the question came from some unsavory chaps who where actually middle aged and older Pharisee's. What they were doing at the time was divorcing their wives for a much younger woman and they were using the most flimsy reasons for divorce. The Christ knew this!! When he told them that the only reason they had for divorce was if adultry was committed! As the wives of these old Pharisee's would not be committing such an act ( a divorced women in those days had nothing!) the old coots cooked up some humdingers for getting rid of their faithful wives without legal ramifications to their self worth, or monetary worth.
So the Christ knowing this took their invalid reasons away from them! They did not like the Christ's answer by the way.
Since then that one passage has been abused over and over and over again and again by pastors, priests, and abusive husbands who claim biblical rights. They do not understand the history nor the reason why the Christ said that.
Although adultry is a reason for divorce the Christ still expects us to forgive and maintain the marraige the best we can. It's called love.
To be quite honest in those days a woman could divorce her husband if she found good reason that living with the man was detrimental. For instance. A woman marries a tanner knowing full well the smell of the job. But a year later she finds that the smell of her husbands trade is so harsh that she cannot even sleep in the same house as her husband then she has a right to sue for divorce. It was Mosaic law.
Knowing this I would say that you can ask and you should know the bible with a more understanding of it's history and it's meaning.
Wisdom never changes. What was wise ten thousand years ago is still true today. But societies? They change all the time and the history of Jerusalem, Israel, Judah has changed significantly in two thousand years. Study what was happening in Christ's time, and in the time of the Judges, the time of the prophets. Knowing the history is a great advantage to understanding your studies of the bible.
God bless and take care.

Answer 3

Yes. Where were you married and was the marriage legal in terms of the state? marriage license, official documents et al?

Consult a lawyer. Most lawyers will give free advice. Just make sure that when you ask how many minutes is their free advice , if they said 15 minutes, then ask all the questions you need to know the answers. Use that time well. Lawyers are expensive.

The bible is not a legally binding document. Besides, there are several interpretations of it. The law of the land on civil matters will prevail.

Answer 4

Yes, in the Torah (old testement) it says a man gives his wife a divorce. In Israel, if a man refuses to give his wife a divorce, they find the man in contempt of court and hold him in jail until and unless he gives it to her.
One, talk to your priest or minister or rabbi. Also talk to a lawyer.
Two, file. If he agrees to a divorce you are good to go.
Three, is faithlessness in keeping his marriage vows, is a good topic to take to your religious leader. That person may just agree with your thought of his cheating as a way of giving you and divorce.

Answer 5

As far as I am concerned, if somebody cheats they have made their choice. Unless your husband is sincerely sorry and agrees to go to a marriage councilor I would divorce him. Life is too short to stay with someone who has no respect for marriage.

Answer 6

The Bible says lots of things on both sides of the question.
http://www.godlessgeeks.com/LINKS/BiblicalMarriage.htm
You do not in any state in the US have to ask him to divorce you!

Answer 7

Yes, you have grounds for a scriptual divorce and I believe that he doesn't have to ask for or agree to it. His actions, started the process. He was unfaithful and in doing so, he broke his commitment to God, you and your families. You have done all you need to do to do this Bibically in my opinion.

Answer 8

From a man's point of view..once he strays from the roost,he will always look for more women to cheat with.He must not be happy if he strays from his wife.

Answer 9

I think all formalities go out the window once the relationship has been ruined. Divorce the jerk and don't look back.

Answer 10

sweetie it not up to him to decide the divorce you are the one who has been done wrong by don't play with your heart break the tie not the great woman you are