I caught my husband cheating on me and we're now separated. He hasn't decided if he wants a divorce yet. I'm trying to be scripturally correct. The Bible says that its the HUSBAND that gives the wife a certificate of divorce. Is what he's done/doing equal to a certificate of divorce?
2007-12-27 10:12:27 · 38 answers · asked by Kayla 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm not sure Yahoo Answers is the right place for this question. I suggest you speak to your church leader.
Infidelity does not necessarily mean a couple has to get divorced. Many couples recover from an affair. Perhaps your husband wants to try to make amends. You have to look into your own heart to see if you want to stay with him. If you have children, consider the impact a divorce will have on them.
best of luck to you
2007-12-27 10:17:40 · answer #1 · answered by krinkn 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Jesus said, "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery," (Matt. 19:9). The word in Greek for immorality is porneia from which we get the word pornography.
Sexual immorality - thus - adultery, is a grounds for divorce according to Jesus.
There are only a few reasons for divorce. The first reason, adultery or being unfaithful to their spouse.
The Bible gives two clear grounds for divorce: (1) sexual immorality (Matthew 5:32; 19:9), and (2) abandonment by an unbeliever (1 Corinthians 7:15). Even in these two instances, though, divorce is not required or even encouraged.
The most that can be said is that sexual immorality and abandonment are grounds (an allowance) for divorce.
Confession, forgiveness, reconciliation, and restoration are always the first steps.
Divorce should only be viewed as a last resort.
Two things for are for sure. (1) Again, God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16). (2) God is merciful and forgiving. Each and every divorce is a result of sin, either on the part of one spouse or both spouses. Does God forgive divorce? YES - absolutely! Divorce is no less forgivable than any other sin. Forgiveness of all sins is available through faith in Jesus Christ (Matthew 26:28; Ephesians 1:7). If God forgives the sin of divorce, does that mean you are free to remarry? Not necessarily. God sometimes calls people to remain single (1 Corinthians 7:7-8). Being single should not be looked at as a curse or punishment, but rather as an opportunity to serve God more wholeheartedly (1 Corinthians 7:32-36). God’s Word does tell us, though, that it is better to marry than to burn with passion (1 Corinthians 7:9). Perhaps this sometimes applies to remarriage after a divorce.
Pray to God for wisdom to what He would have you do (James 1:5). Pray with an open mind, and genuinely ask the Lord to place His desires on your heart (Psalm 37:4). Seek the Lord’s will (Proverbs 3:5-6) and follow where HE leads you.
2007-12-27 10:33:29 · answer #2 · answered by Tara 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's the 21st century in case you didn't know....why follow a book that was written a gazillion years ago when women had absolutely ZERO rights?
What you need to do is first decide if you really want a divorce. Affairs don't have to be the end of an anotherwise happy marriage...that is, IF it was happy to begin with. Secondly, find a divorce lawyer that will make sure that you get an equatable portion of your marriage assets.
You don't even have to tell your husband any of this. He'll find out when he's served with the papers.
I think what you need to do mostly is get your head out of the bible....it's just a book.
2007-12-27 10:21:01 · answer #3 · answered by b0rnbad 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you really believe you have to follow everything the bible says? The Old Testament contains horrible things that we don't follow anymore such as sacrifices and many things in it are not expected to be followed in our modern world.
Since your husband did such an awful thing, instead of simply following what the bible says think about how you feel. If you believe you two can work it out and go through the rest of your lives normally stay together. If you feel like you could never trust him again and feel he doesn't deserve you, ask for a divorce.
It's most important for you to follow your own instincts. I hope you make the right decision.
2007-12-27 10:19:33 · answer #4 · answered by sunburst308 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Adultery is the one case where even Jesus condoned of divorce. You don't have to wait for your husband to decide. Unless he has sincerely repented and you choose to forgive him and accept him back, you are morally and Scripturally justified in filing for divorce. And while you are scripturally commanded to forgive if he asks, forgiveness does not require you to take him back. That would be up to you.
Keep in mind that in Jesus's day, a woman had very few legal rights, and could not choose to divorce her husband. That has changed.
Good luck and God bless.
2007-12-27 10:42:23 · answer #5 · answered by rlb1961 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He hasn't decided hunh? And, yet he decided to have an extra-marital affair. I don't know sweety but times have changed and I think you really have to sit down and think about what you are going to do. You can certainly ask for a divorce. God isn't going to punish you for doing so. Or, you could also find it in you're heart to forgive him. Either way, a woman always has choices and you are not the exception. Good luck to you.
2007-12-27 10:20:34 · answer #6 · answered by Erin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not looking at all the scripture on divorce. You can file for a divorce. Would you say that your husband loves and treats you like JESUS loves and treats the church, the Church being the body of CHRIST, the true believers.
2007-12-27 10:31:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He violated his marriage vows; I would take that as a divorce scripturally. Get a lawyer and file for divorce in the eyes of the law now.
2007-12-27 10:18:56 · answer #8 · answered by erin A 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Quit hiding behind the bible, just file for divorce. I am a Christian woman and that is what I did. I believe that the Lord is not mad that I initiated the divorce and moved on with my life. I was not the one who was making the choices that lead to the marriage ending anyway.
2007-12-27 10:18:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
You don't need his permission to file for divorce. Just go do it. That is unless you want to stay married to him while he continues to cheat on you.
2007-12-27 15:24:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋