He's cheating AGAIN and I don't know what to do.?

Question

I've was married only 2 yrs. Within that two years he and I have a son and both of us have children from previous relationships. Exactly a wk after our son turned one he drops a bomb on me saying that he wants out of the relationship. A week later I notice strange behaviors in him that all read CHEATING. Then I started to find evidence to support my theory. Then I got a call for a job in another state in which I accepted and moved my family, excluding him. He never sent any child support for our son and basically blamed me for the failed marriage. Til this day I don't know what the hell I did. All I ever asked for was for love and a partner for life. Anyways, he moved here 3 months ago and is living with his brother. He came here to so call work things out but I notice that he is doing the same thing he did back in the other state in which he is constangly texting someone who he claims is his niece plus he is always on the computer at his brother supposedly surfing the net.

For clarification purposes, I did not KIDNAP my child. The move was based on a better opportunity in which he was being offered so this was in the works way before out marriage started to change. Secondally when offered the job I sat down and spoke to him and we BOTH decided that it would be a better opportunity for me and the children. I did not ABANDON my family nor my marriage. Currently I'm a single mother doing her thing and taking care of her two kids by herself without having to beg, borrow or steal. Thank you Colleen O. for your input.

Answer 1

You're his safety net. Don't fall for his deceitful ways. Get an attorney. Show the lawyer your evidence and allow him/her to go after child support.

Keep your sanity and don't associate directly with this unstable person. Taking him back will reflect very poorly on you. Neither you nor your children need to be on this kind of a roller coaster ride.

Answer 2

So, since you moved on and can run your household without him, he's trying to come back. Let me guess, the old standard
:" I want my family back"
, or the popular
"Don't say no to our creating a family again".

BS. Don't fall for this please.
File to get your child support and set up a court approved visit schedule.
He's lying to you. BADLY. He's not even trying to hide it. He's probably hoping the baby hormones and stress are throwing you off from seeing the truth.
Don't let him use the kids as a way in. My mother didn't take my father back because he didn't change is behavior-he just said he did. I am a stronger woman for seeing her divorce him. I know that I will NEVER settle for less than I am worth and neither should you. You and your children will be fine.

Answer 3

You never said whether you were divorced from this guy or not so...YOU left him...basically YOU abandonded your marriage, he could have filed for divorce on those grounds and come out ahead. Secondly, You left the state with your childand no doubt without his consent...He COULD have had you arrested and charged and convicted of kidnapping, that would have given him total custody of the child or the child in foster care, you would get supervised visitations when you got out of prison but you would never have custody of the child ever again. Since you didn't file for divorce and you left the state he was never obligated to send you ANY child support since there could not have been ANY court order for him to do so.
So basically what we have is, HE cheated...YOU abandonded the marriage and absconded with his child illegally and yet you are blaming HIM? Interesting. So now that he is doing the same things he did back there are you going to take off again? Neither one of you should be married and by no means have a child...poor kid.

Answer 4

i say kick him to the curb. not all guys will change. if you take him back while he is still a cheater you are telling him that it is ok to be like that. You can do better and you deserve more. it is especially more dangerous in this day and age with all the AIDS, hepatitis and other STDs around. Tell him if he wants to work things out he has to do it your way - and then lay out the rules. tell him IF and WHEN he meets your rules you will consider taking him back, but not a minute sooner. Then stick to it! If he can't or won't, then you have not lost much. I promise - there are great men out there who want a good life partner - you just haven't met him yet. Stand your ground - you and your kids are worth it!

Answer 5

Wow. Are you with my daughters father, jeff?? Eek. I have lived this honey. And let me be very clear.....men like this don't change. He isn't texting his niece. He isn't surfing the internet (at least not for anything innocent.) He is a dog...and the sooner you realize this, the sooner you can move on. It is very very hard...I finally did it earlier this year, and it was the best and hardest decision I ever had to make. The fact that you even have to ask these questions should give you your answer. Good luck.

Answer 6

the common cheater, cheat back. that may no longer merely my very own observations as a therapist. in accordance to one learn carried out interior the overdue ninety’s a minimum of 60% of adult males would have an extramarital affair in some unspecified time interior the destiny and of those seventy 5% would have a 2nd one. this would not mean that his affair ought to reason her to break up. If she desire to maintain her marriage, the two considered one of them ought to discover out why the affair surpassed off. Agreeing on the reason being a needed first step in the direction of reestablishing the have confidence. in the event that they're no longer able to be triumphant in this settlement, then probability is that the two he will have a 2nd affair or they are going to break up. yet this settlement on the reason being in basic terms a commonly used step. each and each of them then desires to return to a decision in the event that they desire to spend the emotional capital to the two restoration what's erroneous or break up. this is often reliable in the event that they could make this decision mutually yet often it rather is not any longer available. a reliable marriage counselor can help them make those judgements.

Answer 7

You did right to leave in the first place. Why would you EVER consider opening the door or your heart to this man. He has already proven what he is..cheating dead beat Dad. Women don't need men like this and neither do children. Move on!

Answer 8

Well, I think you should be proud of urself for having the courage to leave and somehow start a new life without him, I think for him he doesnt know what he wants and many man dont. They think that woman are going to be there whenever they want and it doesnt work like that. I think he needs to be out of your life, and just tell your self that he is your son father and that is the only reason why u have to keep seeing him.

I THINK THAT HE JUST DOESNT GET THAT WHAT HE IS DOING IS WRONG AND JUST SAYS THAT HE IS MAN.

Answer 9

You need to find a new partner , sex isn't worth the constant ripping of your heart that he is giving you , It's him that is doing this to you , so don't let him into your bed , and your heart will be strong enough to throw the texting niece lover and his cheating computer out ,,, stop giving him SEX ( your heart ) No more NONE,,, strength will happen and someone new will inter,, Be strong !

Answer 10

hmm sounds like a loser. If he wants it to work, get counselling as a couple and he needs to go by himself too and get his head cracked open. He needs help. Don't take him back unless you are 150% sure he is fully committed to you.
And you need to be careful and not start dating too quickly either. Concentrate on your kids and your career. Figure out why you are attracted to losers who don't honour you. Be a strong independent woman - you'll be far better off. good luck!