Can anyone review this dialogue?

Question

I'm hoping to start this dialogue up to begin a screenplay about 4 friends and their nighlife in Manttan. The film begins, and the 4 best friends/and 4 women are sitting in a New York cafe booth with coffee at their reach.

Here's the link
http://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1366982

Dont be an arrogant philistine like Theatre Doc and not notice the fact that I said this dialogue "begins a story" rather then is one in itself.

Answer 1

Interesting, I've been reading quite a few of Mr. Theatre Doc's answers, and if he really is a professor, I'd be very interested in seeing his credentials.

Regardless, I think there is something in the dialogue you can use. There are many excellent scripts that are purely based on rapid fire conversation and it's the LACK of action that makes them a unique genre. Check out 12 Angry Men, or any play by Daniel McIvor. Any and all one-man or one-woman shows are based solely on a dialogue with the audience and not on the action of the story (Shirely Valentine ring a bell?).

Not to say this dialogue could be the entire play, but it could certainly work in a scene. Granted there should be some form of motivation in order to keep the piece moving (conflict resolution does indeed still need to be addressed). It gives an idea as to how you want to write, the characters you would like to flesh out, etc.

Give it a shot, and good luck.

Answer 2

It stinks! Plays and films are about action and not conversation. There is nothing happening here except talk. It is not in the correct format for a script. The use of bad language has no purpose and shows you have no imagination or vocabulary. The great number of misspellings indicates that you do not have enough education to write a script. The first thing a script does is tell a story, so you have to have a story first, then turn it into a script.

Answer 3

it is pretty good..needs some grammer changes...that is all and the dialouge is sort of floozy..