i never enjoyed sex with my husband.I do masturbate to satisfy myself but always did sex as a chore.After I got a job few months ago and felt a little independent I even disliked it more and told my husband about this disliking.We are very worried now.Sometimes I think I do not love him and not physically attracted towards him but i admire him as a person.he is a great man but sometimes i feel i should go for divorce and then start afresh what exactly i want and like.Bcoz i hate to see him suffer and more i try to make him happy by sex more hatred is developing for sex inside of me.Please guide.
2007-12-27 08:26:52 · 25 answers · asked by payal w 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ok let me tell u this ...when i got married all i thot was that i ll have a convenient life wid him and i admired him as a person..but very soon i realised i am not in love wid him , i am not physically attracted towards him and may be he is not THE ONE for me.I went into a kinda extramarital affair but then i relaised its wrong and so i stopped it but thats when i relaised who true i am and what my wishes are.Sometimes i myself think i should go for divorce but then i am afraid of losing my husband as i may never find a nice person like him .Wat to do
2007-12-27 08:47:01 · update #1
Counseling might help. Or try some of the self-help manuals, with exercises to help you discover how to make each other happier and to enjoy it. If it is still a problem, you may want to see a doctor, to see if there is a physical problem involved (yes, there CAN be -- happened to a friend of mine). Good luck.
2007-12-27 08:30:21 · answer #1 · answered by Yahzmin ♥♥ 4ever 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Is there nothing you would like to do with him at all? Are you voicing some of your fantasies and desires? You are both going to need to work through this. I would suggest a councilor. If he is a good person and the only thing that isn't working is the sex then I wouldn't advise getting a divorce over it. This is something that you can both work at and become better.
I learned long ago that the grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence... in fact sometimes it is almost the same grass. So by divorcing a man who you admire, you may end up with a man you do not admire and you still can have problems in bed. You have to tackle this bull by the horns.
2007-12-27 08:32:14 · answer #2 · answered by Ben H 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If he is not pleasing you enough in bed, you need to communicate with him. Tell him exactly what you want and how you like it.
Secondly, do not offer sex all the time. He may not be into it because it is always there, so he doesn't have to try or care anymore.
The women I know here in the States are very good at using sex as a weapon against men. Essentially, not giving it up until they get exactly what they want. I'm not sure you have to go that far; but recognize the other extreme has its problems also.
2007-12-27 08:35:11 · answer #3 · answered by LuckyLavs 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There is help for you and your dear husband. Do you really want to throw away an entire relationship because one part of it isn't working? Your situation seems perfect for a counselor or even a sex therapist! :-) You are able to achieve the big O... so there's a great possibility you two can work it out together. Chances are he just needs a little guidance. A willing partner who is cool with learning new things to make you happy in bed could be yours very soon, if you just talk to him and see. You said "we are very worried" so it sounds like he may be willing!!! :-) Good luck! :-)
2007-12-27 08:32:57 · answer #4 · answered by Twice as Nice 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like sex is the least of your worries. When u fall out of love w/someone- you don't want to get romantic. Go to counseling Lady. If this can't be fixed through a counselor than you might need to get a divorce. If your not truely in love set the man free Lady. Its not fair to him to do this and DONT tell him your not attracted-that's just wrong.
2007-12-27 08:56:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm going to take a gander and say that he has NEVER given you an orgasm. If he has, you would enjoy sex with him. Obviously you enjoy the feeling of having an orgasm or 'getting off'. He just hasn't given you that feeling yet.
Sounds like you either need to leave him or get a guy on the side who can give it to you.
Brandon
2007-12-27 08:54:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont think u should run for divorce without trying to work out with it..Some times people just need to talk and be honest each other,tell him how do you like to be touched,try sexy clothes ,go shopping buy sexy lenceries and ,by some wine ,make a dinner and some romantic music and just try..good luck
2007-12-27 08:42:08 · answer #7 · answered by tu nina linda! 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
try a tantra course with your husband and visiting a sexologist. I don't think you should leave your husband . try going out to have fun like u guys use to do when you first started dating. The grass is not greener on the other side. Seems to me like you have a loving man. Something not so easy to find out there. You might find somebody that rocks your world if you leave him. but I can assure you that he may not want to commit and be that loving man that you would like him to be.
2007-12-27 08:53:24 · answer #8 · answered by jamie 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Because of your reference to starting afreash with exactly what you want and like, you are implying that you don't have a problem with sex, but with the fact that your husband specifically is not sexually appealing to you. Poor guy! What's wrong with him? If it's something he could change, such as being overweight or not showering often enough, you owe it to him to tell him. Maybe he could wear different clothes or take other steps to make himself more attractive to you. Please figure out how he could turn you on sexually, and then tell him!
2007-12-27 08:32:46 · answer #9 · answered by Happy-2 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well now days, women are becoming more independent. We like to do things on our own, and we think we don't need men. Some women feel like this and some of us don't. What you're feeling is completely normal. However, you not liking your husband and stuff can be normal too. Maybe you're annoyed? Or stressed. You should talk it over with him. Good luck girl!
2007-12-27 08:31:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋