I have a friend from Korea, who me and my group of friends have been hanging out with for the past year. She will be returning to her country around the end of January, probably forever.
We invited her to spend Christmas, but she never showed up or called. She had said she was coming for sure. We called and called, and haven't talked to her since then, but we did talk to her parents and they said she went to hang out with friends that day. My family had even bought her Christmas presents!
My question is, should we continue to call her to hand out with us, even though she totally flaked out on us? . Or should we just not call her again, and if she wants to hang out, wait for her to call? What is the right thing to do? Just ignore the problem, or cut off the relationship, or address it? We are pretty good friends (I thought).
2007-12-27 08:14:22 · 6 answers · asked by Yuki 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Thanks for your answers!
But she has done this kind of thing before, as in, flaked out on us. So it's not that strange.
Also, she's from Korea. Christmas isn't much of a holiday there, so I don't think it would be an emotional time for her like it is for us.
2007-12-27 08:34:34 · update #1
don't get sooo hurt yet, though you probably already are. but, when is she leaving. is it close to the time? it could be that you guys are what count. maybe it would be too emotional for her to spend that time with you. giving the fact that it's Christmas (an emotional time period for a lot of people) and given the fact that she's leaving soon... well it all could be too much for her. not everyone handles their emotions the same way.
you good friend is leaving soon. it's not the time to turn a cold shoulder saying well, if she wants to be this way or that she has to come to us....
go to her. ask her what happened on Christmas? is everything all right? depending on her answer tell her that nicely that we were expecting you. we bought you a present. it hurt my feelings and my family's that you weren't with us on this day. what's going on?
open the door for her and ask is it because your leaving or some thing?
i think that you guys can hash this out. but, don't play cold shoulder. she's leaving soon. you don't have time to waste on arguments
good luck i hope this was helpful
2007-12-27 08:26:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
FWIW, I went to a far away from home, but same-state college. A friend phoned to say that she was coming up to see her boyfriend play in the State's intercollegiate sectionals hockey game, of which my school was host. Well, needless to say, I was thrilled that she was coming, so I got all nice-and-neat, and put on my best "sports" clothes, and even cleaned-up my dorm room (including my roommate's side!), then went to the game (it was free, but there were more players than spectators!), but, surprise, surprise, she never showed-up! I didn't ask the boyfriend, because I considered that her visit was meant to be a surprise for him (he and I had never met, so it would have been awkward, regardless). Hours later, very concerned, I called her home. Her father answered, and he handed the phone to her! She said it completely slipped her mind, despite the fact that she had called the previous day! I never considered her a "ditz" or "airhead", but this episode made me wonder! We were never on good terms after that. :,(
2007-12-27 16:37:38 · answer #2 · answered by skaizun 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that honesty is the key to friendship. Talk to her and ask why she blew you off to hang out with other peolple. Don't be mean, just kindly try to find out her reasons for doing that. Give her a second chance, i mean she's leaving soon and you don't want her to leave with bad memories. I think you guys can work it out if you get to the root of the problem and honestly find out what happened to make her do that.
best of luck<33
2007-12-27 16:26:50 · answer #3 · answered by Jazzy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she forgot that you invited her. Keep trying to get a hold of her. Call or drop by her house. Tell her calmly that she hurt you when she didn't show. Keep your voice calm and do not get angry. It will only make matters worse.
Hope this helped!
2007-12-27 16:23:32 · answer #4 · answered by splxspl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just call her again. Maybe it was a misunderstanding
2007-12-27 16:28:59 · answer #5 · answered by Lauren 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would not call if she wants to talk she will call
2007-12-27 19:26:42 · answer #6 · answered by Etna C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋