What Are Some Old Sayings That You Used To Hear?

Question

from your parents or grandparents ?
A couple of my dad's: (1) If you're going to dance to the music, you have to pay the fiddler (interpretation: if you do the crime, you do the time) (2) Let's go out back and I'l show you where the bears *hit in the buckwheat (interpretation: let's go to the woodshed so I can kick your butt).

Thought of another one. My dad was a mechanic and in my younger years when I used to help, but still young enough to be tool inept, if I did something wrong or handed him the wrong tool, he'd say, "that was like a monkey trying to screw a football". Don't know where he came up with all of these, but he had alot of them.

Answer 1

Happier than an two p(ckered owl.
little pea picker ( small child)
Fine as frogs hair
So ugly they could eat corn through a picket fence
You play with the band you get a horn in the a$$
That dress is so pretty you should have bought 2 , one to bury and one to cover it up with ( remark when I bought a real short dress)

Answer 2

Don't let the door hit you on the way out. a penny saved is a penny earned. If you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen. From the frying pan into the fire. Feed a cold, starve a fever.

Answer 3

Being raised on a ranch, I heard my dad say a farting horse never get tired.
Guys can't make a living in bed
A days pay for a day work that's all I ask for.
Don't let the door hit you in the a#^# on the way out

Answer 4

"Who's she, the cat's mother?" That's a hilarious one, but I have absolutely no clue what it actually means! The cat's mother?! I'll have to google it sometime. "You'll have someone's eye out with that" My girlfriend used to use this one on me all the time. Haz, are you Irish? The "God loves Ireland" thing sounds like it's along the same lines as quotes about the Pope being Catholic, or (if you prefer) bears sh*tting in the woods!

Answer 5

When referring to any really large amount , saying 'they've got more of them than Carter's has liverpills '.
'Bigger than a breadbox'.
'If you keep crossing your eyes, they'll stick that way'.
'Hey ya mickey the mope'.
'Boy, that guy was as big as an amadan'(spelling?)

'If ya keep throwing rocks at those squirrels, then you're gonna find a size 11 1/2 up your asz'. . . . . . . .LOL, OK, I only heard that once from my neighbor !!. . .. P.S. - The friend who was with me didn't know what the man meant !! We were about 11 . I told my friend to 'shut-up and keep walkin' .

Answer 6

From my uncle: useful as a pair of b**ls on a cast iron billy goat.

Cold as a witch's t**

so low he could walk under a snake and never mess his hair up

Can't walk and chew gum at the same time (clumsy)

Answer 7

Lower than a snakes belly under a wagon rut ...

if wishes were fishes we'd all smell bad!

Then there was:
wish in one hand... Sh^t in the other,
see which one fills up the fastest!

and my Mother use to say:
I'm going to rip off your arm and beat you to death with it!

What in Gods name were you thinking? heard that one a lot!

Answer 8

my grandpa had some totally weird ones:

1. can't pour p'iss out of a boot. (you're stupid)
2. tastes like another one. (tasted really good)
3. taste like you need to slap yo' mama (see #2)
4. ain't got enough to buy a flea a wrasslin' jacket. (poor)
5. busier than a one-legged man in an @ss-kickin' contest. (really busy)

Answer 9

I used to hear these:

Best looking thing I ever laid eyes on--my grandmother
That's the way the ball bounces--my mother
Wouldn't trust him with a bent nickel--my father
Don't take any wooden nickels--my mother
Can't have your cake and eat it too--my grandmother

Answer 10

Dad used to say if I hit you with one hand you can expect to get hit with the other. Or if I take my belt off, it isn't going to be because I have to loosen my pants, now shut the heck up. Only he didn't say heck.