all. our relationship lately has been rocky. in the last 3 months. she's been trying to get the father of the kids in their lives because both kids miss their father. the father doesn't care about the kids at all. he goes in & out of their lives. one day on the 4 yr old's b-day they both told the kids infront of them that they never wanted them & that they were a mistake. that was a month ago. i told her i was tired of the b.s. & threatened to leave her. she begged me to stay & that she would change. so i stayed. things haven't changed & now she tells me that her ex is dealing drugs but she will not call the cops or do anything except spend time w/ the kids. i feel like i am being used. we were supposed to save up for a house together but she is always broke. she never spends any money on me so i don't know how. i come from a good family. i never had this happen to me before. what do i need to do? i'm scared she might take me down w/ her in her mess??
2007-12-27 07:55:17 · 18 answers · asked by holmes 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i stopped having sex w/ her 2 months ago because i wanted to let her know i was serious about these issues. she gets mad but i stand my ground. she blew her tax check of $6000 & now she is letting the no good ex use her car when he wants. i'm pissed. i want to leave right now that's how mad i am but she keeps on laying the guilt trip on me saying if i leave i don't love her. but i've been very patient for her to change. this didn't happen at the begininning of the relationship.
2007-12-27 07:57:50 · update #1
she told me she had her tubes tied after the 2nd child was born. sex isn't important to me. i want to meet the right person.
2007-12-27 08:14:39 · update #2
She has too much baggage. She still loves her ex and she wants him to be there for her and the kids. If she wants him to take care of the kids all she has to do is file child support. The fact that he drives her car is a problem in itself. She is using you. You don't have any children so why are you with a woman that has not one but two with a dead beat? When she told you her babies' dad was a dead beat you should have ran then.
You need to leave her. She is not responsible and she is only thinking of herself. If you stay around you're going to miss out on what is really out there for and she isn't it. Leave her with her babies' dad. If he told her that he wanted to take care of her and the kids she would drop you like you were a hot plate. When it comes to dating a woman with children you are taking a big risk. You not having sex with her doesn't change a thing it actually pushes her closer to her ex.
2007-12-27 08:27:32 · answer #1 · answered by KSR 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My mum has 5 children and 8 soon to be 9 grandchildren. Our ages are 24, 23, 22, 19 and 16. Our mum stopped buying us presents when we were 18. None of us mind though because she always buys our kids presents and I think that's fair.
2016-04-11 03:40:49 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to leave and forget the guilt trip garbage. She uses men. She doesn't love them. That should have been obvious being she has two kids, by two different guys, and never bothered with marriage.
You deserve better. There ARE better gals out there. My advice is to start looking for them in churches, in the workplace, at college, etc. And no more sex until you are married. Good luck.
P.S. I bet in a month she'll announce a third pregnancy and the child won't be yours, since you haven't had sex with her in 2 mos.
2007-12-27 08:01:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is best for you if you leave. It is best for the children if you document these unfortunate happenings and give your findings to the police and Child Protective Services in order to have the children placed somewhere they will be wanted and loved BEFORE you leave. They show serious lack of adult judgement and disregard for the mental and physical well being of the children. If it is something you would consider.... if you and the children have a good relationship, you may think about taking them on with temporary custody. If this is something you want then do it for them. Just remember to do exactly as the workers tell you and do not allow the mother or father to visit unannounced or alone.
2007-12-27 08:24:03 · answer #4 · answered by MJ 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If she really loved you she wouldn't use guilt to make you stay, and she wouldn't keep you in a bad situation. At some point you have to realize that self preservation is important too. You really need to get out of this situation before she drags you down with her. You are definitely being used. Good luck and take care.
2007-12-27 08:02:59 · answer #5 · answered by Aculeus 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you tell her if she loved you she would put you first not an out of control ex, the will end up back together cause she still cares about him too much. tell her there is only room for one man in the relationship, and since she cant let him go, you are gone, stand your ground, she is using you, leave her, tell her if she loves you then she will change and get herself together and then call you
2007-12-27 08:03:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever heard the story about the man who went to the store for a bottle of milk and a loaf of bread and never came back???? My friend, if what you relate is happening then you would be best to step out for a smoke, or some such, and "poof" never to return...no phone calls, no contact...you certainly do not want to go down with the ship....You are being used and abused...Go ASAP...
2007-12-27 08:07:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
This will probably not get better, usually after marriage things escalate. I have learned from experience it is better to leave a bad situation than stay and try to make it better. A person who has morals and etiquette will not behave the way your GF is behaving. You can not change a person, they are who they are and unless they truly want to change and have the knowledge of what they would like to become, they are who you have. You sound like you want better for yourself. Pursue another option and see what happens, sounds like it couldn't be much worse.
2007-12-27 08:04:36 · answer #8 · answered by Rein 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like this "ready-made-family" isn't for you. If you truely don't want to deal with this mess, you need to get out while there's not attachments from the children. They are the one's who will be hurt the most in all of this, especially since their father is "in and out" of their lives. If you truely love this woman, make it work. If you think it's going to drag you down, then you've already made up your mind to get out. Good luck and may GOD bless.
2007-12-27 08:00:25 · answer #9 · answered by cookie 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
dude i dont know what you are doing staying there. i dont even know how you stayed with her for 2 years. she is low class chick and you dont want that ****. you need to say " hey i am out good luck " finish it up man before you put your self in a big mess. she is trouble and you dont want that. listen to me and leave ASAP. hope you will find a better girl.
2007-12-27 08:08:55 · answer #10 · answered by nemo007 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋