My sister's on answers, and has asked a few questions about her husband, with his ex, sneaking around, etc. Can someone give her some advice that she could do... possibly step by step?? Here are some of the details: Her husband, we'll call him rave (lol) was engaged/living with a girl we'll call rammy. He broke up with my sister several times while dating her, and went back out with rammy. Eventually, he & my sister got married. Everything was good, they had fights now and then, as just about every married couple does. Then out of the blue, five years into their marriage, my sister discovered he had called rammy to wish her a happy birthday. a few months later, she found out that he was emailing her and meeting her at the bar. he said he would stop. then a few months ago, she found out that he had a secret email account, and had been emailing rammy from his parent's house so that my sister wouldn't find out. this has been going on for quite some time now, and i am out of advice.
2007-12-27 07:38:51 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She has told him several times that she is going to leave him. He says no, he will not pay child support, he will take away her vehicle (his dad cosigned for it) and that in court he will make her look like an unfit mother. :( Anyone who knows her knows that she is a wonderful mother.
2007-12-27 07:56:00 · update #1
She needs to dump him and move on...but the thing is, we can give her all the advice in the world, and she knows in her heart what she needs to do - but until she is READY to move on, she will keep putting up with the BS. That is the way thing are in relationships like that.
I would just be there for her, listen to her and support her. Nothing else you can do really...she will move on when her heart is ready.
2007-12-27 07:50:48 · answer #1 · answered by SisterSue 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Rave sounds like a raving asshole. I think she is young and needs to think about leaving. She needs to find out if he is cheating NOW and not drag this out for another five years. IF she leaves him the courts will mandat him to pay child support. It is a very simple thing. It will get deducted right from his check based upon his earnings. If your sister has a good education she can go on and do well for her family. I wish you guys luck
2007-12-27 09:45:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This really isnt a "step-by-step" situation. If you sister hasnt listened to anyones advice why will she know? She has asked him to stop and he hasnt, he has gone behind her back and lied to her. Clearly he is cheating on her with this women or at least intending to. She needs to leave him and move on with her life.
*Edit*
He is threatening her to try and keep her from leaving, she should know if he has been cheating on her in court she would easily get custody and child support and most likely alimony. Even if his father cosigned on the car as a cosigned they have no right to the vehicle they are just taking financial responsibility if she fails to pay.
She should cantact a divorce lawyer to explain her rights, they usually offer a free consultation.
2007-12-27 07:42:51 · answer #3 · answered by Jessica S 4 · 3⤊ 2⤋
It sounds like she will need a good lawyer. She needs to leave that looser. That is all he is. If there was nothing going on between him and the ex then he would not be secretly emailing this girl.
If she can support herself either make him leave the place they are living or get herself an apartment and move out. Then follow the 1st thing I suggested about a lawyer.
Then she needs to move on with her life and find herself first and what she wants out of life then if she wants to start to date again.
I hate that for her but she needs to do this as soon as possible. Good luck
2007-12-27 07:45:19 · answer #4 · answered by I have his love. 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
She needs to get rid of "rave" because he is too caught on "rammy" to be honest with your sister. Even if all they do is communicate by email innocently he is "emotionally cheating" on your sister because he is not being upfornt with her about his communications with "rammy". She needs to confront him and tell him that if he MUST converse with "rammy" she wants to know about it, be able to see what is said or it is over between them. He needs to choose between her and "rammy".
2007-12-27 07:46:25 · answer #5 · answered by NewMommaNWife 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Step one and the ONLY STEP: Immediately seek the advice of a divorce attorney. If she does step one, she will stop seeking the advice of Yahoos. She will get all her questions answered, including child support and custody.
2007-12-27 08:51:11 · answer #6 · answered by Sondra 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't give your sister advice, because it's not what she wants to hear. She wants someone to assure her that her husband will stay with her and only her. She already knew from his pattern before marrying him that he wasn't going to be an "ideal" husband. Perhaps boosting her self-esteem might help with her confidence, but the only help she can get is to get out of that unhealthy situation. Until she realizes he isn't good for her, nothing that anyone advises her of will help. Thank you and may GOD bless.
2007-12-27 07:53:30 · answer #7 · answered by cookie 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The guys a jerk and your sister won't see it until she's had enough. Sorry, but all you can do is tell her what you know. When she comes to talk to you about this situation tell her you have told her what's up and if she chooses to do nothing about it, she's wasting your time. She is either going to be the victim and stay in denial or be strong and kick the guy out. Good luck!
2007-12-27 07:47:31 · answer #8 · answered by curlies55 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Step one: Tell him she wants a divorce.
Step two: Get a lawyer.
Step three: Tell Rammy to enjoy the cheating b******d.
2007-12-27 07:43:00 · answer #9 · answered by Leaf 6 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Sounds to me like your sister is either very immature, has a lot of issues, or has a low self-esteem.
Whatever the case is, she is the one married to this cheating jerk...and unless SHE decides to call it quits, no amount of reasoning or advice will do any good.
She has to want to leave him, and it looks like she won't.
Sorry...you need to stay out of it. It's her marriage, not yours.
And if she wants to continue in this situation, it's her choice.
2007-12-27 07:56:05 · answer #10 · answered by Nena S 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋