If your not married and you have a baby with a man who doesn't want to have anything to do with you but comes to your house everyday to see the baby. Who is rude and doesn't help with anything. Would you give the baby his last name or yours? What is the right thing to do?
2007-12-27 07:36:23 · 21 answers · asked by That Person 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
There is no right or wrong answer. It is the mother's choice to give the baby either, both, or any last name she wants to. Personally, I would give the baby my last name.
2007-12-27 07:41:03 · answer #1 · answered by sweetienat123 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Give baby your name for sure, if you are not together than i think he gives up the right to have baby named after him maybe you could compromise and give baby his first name as a middle name thats if you have a boy of course. Make sure that you have visiting times on your terms other wise if he can drop in whenever he feels like it you will never beable to move on with your life. i would use the time he's there to get him to look after the baby and get a few bits done and have a bath and relax a bit try and detatch yourself from him and just let him have his time with the baby. Just remember you are the primary carer so what you say goes and it is your house so he has to respect you the baby and your privacy aswell and if he doesnt like it tell him to p**s off! hope to have been of some help. Good luck
2007-12-27 08:24:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give that baby your last name. You are the one taking care f the baby. Will this man be around in the years to come? This child will not question why they have your last name when they go to school.......if the father is not around and the child has his last name they will ask why u 2 don't have the same name and who's name do they have? Avoid problems and stresses down the road now and give this baby your last name!
2007-12-27 07:42:19 · answer #3 · answered by rivergirl939 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Give the baby your last name. If the father wants no part of actually being a FATHER, just a DAD, then give the baby your last name...
I recently had a baby (he's almost 3 weeks old!!) and gave him his father's last name because at the time he was very involved and wanted to be as involved as possible (even though we weren't really together-together). Well... now, since having had the baby, he seems very much interested in the perks of being a dad (i.e. seeing the baby, holding him, spending time with him), but not really supporting him. I still live with my parents and so far my parents have been the ones to support the baby (I wasn't really able to work during pregnancy and haven't gone back to work yet... so i'm currently broke). I now almost regret having given him his father's last name.
So, do yourself a favor and your baby a favor - give him your last name. The dad gets no rights until he's a supporting role, financially. not just "emotionally".
best of luck to you
2007-12-27 08:38:22 · answer #4 · answered by mums_the_word 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're going to be the primary care giver and expect little help or support, I'd give the baby your last name.
Since the father is making the effort to see the baby on a daily basis, maybe he'll eventually start to support the baby financially. If he doesn't on his own, you need to get a court order for child support. I hate that he's rude and won't help, but I do give him a thumbs up for coming to see his baby. Some men don't even do that.
Congratulations on your new child!
2007-12-27 07:41:23 · answer #5 · answered by Sonya 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
That is a hard situation. The surname is not just from one generation. It stretches back 100's of years. The name doesn't just represent him.
I think if a baby in this situation had both names, it would help to nurture a sense of responsibility (NOT ownership) for the father who seems to be too immature to cope. Yet he obviously has a lot of feelings for his child.
Who knows in 5 years time if the father might change for the better? When the baby grows up they can easily drop one of the surnames anyway.
2007-12-27 07:52:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is completely up to you, but I think to be proper, the baby would get his last name. Or you can hyphenate the last name with yours and his. I wouldnt stand for his rudeness and disrespect in your home though! Reguardless you are that childs MOM and deserve at the very least respect. I would arrange a public meeting for a certain amount of time and let that be that. If he cant act like a civilized being instead of a baboons a** he doesn't deserve to be around that child for beans!
2007-12-27 07:42:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
YOU know in your heart what's right. I went against the norm and gave my son my last name even though I'm married. It was out of respect to my father and my family that I did so. My father has no daughters and we, as his daughters, all kept our original last name. When I had a son, I knew that I wanted him to have my last name to keep the uncommon last name alive and to also show my father how much love and respect I have for him. It went against society's standards and angered my in laws (not my husband though) but I brushed it off.
The environment your child is being raised in is not hostile. She has the best of both worlds because she gets to see Mommy and Daddy. You are the primary caregiver and should be able to choose the name you see fits.
2007-12-27 08:00:27 · answer #8 · answered by Astragalo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a good question.. and im pretty shocked at the anser "WI MOM" gave how rude! anywho.. you should give the baby your name, if daddy decides to become apart financially than you can later change the name. better yet you should not deal with him and his rudeness to you and just go through the judge, that way he will help you financially BY LAW and get to see his daughter also.. good luck to you and you baby!
2007-12-27 08:01:50 · answer #9 · answered by bzepeda_05 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would give the baby my own last name. If you are getting child support from him than that would be a different situation. Ultimately it's up to you.
2007-12-27 07:39:50 · answer #10 · answered by DolphinFan02 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋