Just broke up yesterday, he talks to me like I an nothing, and he frequently ignores me for days etc etc. Really he was the WORST thing that ever happened to me and I now know this hence the fact that I have kicked him out..........but my heart is broken because I really love him, we did have some great times together (though not enough) and I really thought that when I married him it would be forever.............just feel so depressed and alone. And like a failure.........any advice anyone?
2007-12-27 07:25:10 · 40 answers · asked by CHARISMA 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you just have to remember that u are not a bad person and u still will find ur true love...You have to crawl before u can walk so u made a mistake but now u know in the future u will make sure the guy is right for u and there is no problems
2007-12-27 07:29:16 · answer #1 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK number one you are not a failure. It is a normal reaction to splitting from ones spouse. We as a society have been brought up when you get married you stay married and if it doesn't work out then you are the bad one if it doesn't work out.
To me even though I don't know you I feel you are a strong person because it took a whole lot of courage for you to take a stand and say" I deserve better than this and I am not going to take it anymore." If it doesn't hurt you some then you didn't love him. Its a normal feeling. Time will heal your heart and it will make you wiser for the next relationship you will have. No one deserves to be ignored and talked down to.
Hold your head up high and know that you have made a decision that is the best thing that could have happened to you. It will not be an easy road at first but it will get better with time.
I wish you the best of luck...Keep your chin up.
2007-12-27 07:33:40 · answer #2 · answered by I have his love. 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try to put this down to experience and move on with your life.
It didn't work then so it's hardly going to change now,unless of course he can see how badly he treated you and got help for this problem in order to become the person you once married,it's not impossible,but very unlikely to be honest.
It is understandable that you feel depressed and alone,but the thing is,you realised that he was the worst thing that ever happened to you,the upset feelings you are experiencing are normal and only because you were together for so long,used to having eachother,that's where your feel of loss comes in cos it's left any empty feeling inside you.
But hey,get out in that big wide world and start living again,you WILL meet someone more deserving of you when the times right.
2007-12-27 07:34:46 · answer #3 · answered by tinyfeet64 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to read that your marriage has broken down but from what you have written I think you have made the right decision.
I think you would be a failure if you stayed in a marriage that was making you so unhappy. You need to do something now to make you feel better.
I always find a days pampering and a good night out with my mates always makes me feel better.
It will get easier in time. Do not jump into another relationship but give yourself time and grieve for the one you have lost.
2007-12-27 14:36:02 · answer #4 · answered by Magz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've heard the end of a marriage feels like a death. I am going through a similar situation and happen to agree with that statement. If you went into this marriage believing it would be forever and tried your best to make it work, you are NOT a failure.
It might help a bit to know that you've given me some encouragement. I now know I'm not alone with a marriage failing at Christmas. I'm sorry you are dealing with this at such a miserable time, but you are not alone.
2007-12-27 07:32:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Its very common to feel this way after just separating. Its very hard to move on when you still have feelings for your ex husband. Time is the only healer, thats true, but one tip, when you start to think about the good times you had with him, turn your mind to the bad things you have experienced with him....think about the bad and work out if the bad outweighs the good....which it probably does. We cant help but be emotional in times like these, but you have to start taking control and look at things logically......you need to look at what you endured to get you to the point of kicking him out. Would you really want more of the same? If you took him back, thats what you would get. Its a very hard time for anyone in your situation....just take one day at a time. In 6 months time, you will feel differently. In 12 months time you will feel totally differently again. Time does heal, you just have to help it along and not dwell on the good times. Now is the time to look at reality and all the horrible things he has done to you. Maybe getting angry will help take away your blues. Take care.
2007-12-27 07:35:30 · answer #6 · answered by rightio 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well done you!
How much worse would it have been if you had spent the rest of your life with him,when people break up they always think of the good times,it will be upsetting for a while,but will get easier and easier.
Your not a failure,in fact quite the reverse,you had the courage of your convictions and went with it,I know lots of women in one sided marriages who never left and had a miserable life,they stayed for the children,a poor excuse in my opinion.
I hope you haven't dropped your mates,you need them now,just keep filling your time,in a few months you will feel tons better,trust me...I'm a woman,lol ☺☺☺
2007-12-27 07:35:19 · answer #7 · answered by Pat R 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just split form wife a week after thanksgiving. We haven't had any good times that lasted for more than 2 days in over a year. I'm brow-beaten to death,degraded, railed, and I just want it to be over quickly. I fell like a failure because I'm the man in this relationship...Men do hurt also..and divorce really isn't a good thing ..but...i'm here. Take care you are not alone!!
2007-12-27 08:28:38 · answer #8 · answered by football2002 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just keep strong hunny. I kicked my hubby out 4 weeks ago, and it is getting a lot easier. You will have lots of doubts along the way, however, you need to cling onto how you are feeling now and how you felt yesterday. I am sure things escalated over christmas and this is why you took this action?
If you want to mail me you can. Love and hugs xx
2007-12-27 07:38:14 · answer #9 · answered by shaunie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with you for thinking that you two were going to be together forever. That is what you suppose to think when you get married, but reality is that people change. Obviously, he must have changed to you and you changed to him because you both seems to be angry at each other and more than likely that anger came from something that change with both of you from the time that you got married.
2007-12-27 07:41:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋