My boyfriend and I already know that we are going to get married. We talk about it all the time and we are positively sure that we will be married when we are older and there is no doubt that we aren't. So in the Bible, it says that we are not allowed to have sex before marriage.. and I want to know why, if that person you're with now is going to be the person you spend the rest of your life with. Also, it will be both of our first times. If we could get married now, we would, but we just can't right now. I just need some clarification. So I guess my question is sort of like.. what is marriage for then? I don't want answers like "because you should save yourself for the one you love and you should wait until marriage." I already know that stuff. I think this is a hard question to interpret x.x but please help me!
2007-12-27 07:10:46 · 23 answers · asked by Andrew and Priscilla 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
even passages in the Bible will help.
2007-12-27 07:11:57 · update #1
You are looking for permission. No one out here can give you that. You are evidently young and you may feel that way right now but there is no guarantee that is the way it will be in a year or even 6 months. As for when you have sex for the first time that is a moral decision only you can make. But first you need to get educated on sex and the consequences of it (pregnancy, disease, etc.) Don't rush into anything that you may regret later. You have a lifetime ahead of you for that.
2007-12-27 07:23:18 · answer #1 · answered by love my life 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Biblically you are married once you sleep together. Think about this - the person you think you will marry right now will not be the same in 5 years - nor will you. If you could look into the future and tell yourself one thing you would probably both tell yourself to wait. Youth should be savored and once sex is introduced innocence is gone for good. The sweet romance the hopes and wishes - all become a shadow in the light of harsh reality. Sex changes things - it is more than the romantic images of being committed - if you are too young to be married then you are really to young to have sex. Live gets better with every experience and the longer you wait to have sex the better it will be. Adults don't tell you to wait to keep you from having some "fantastic" fun - but instead to help you understand that once you have sex - you have had it and now what will there be when you are old enough to really understand the commitment it should have been saved for. You may think this is the real deal - but ask a few friends and even older women - once the sex is had most guys change dramatically and then you are left broken hearted. Trust me - wait. You will be glad and your future self will be better for it. Good Luck!
2007-12-27 07:30:16 · answer #2 · answered by Walking on Sunshine 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Because every man has the right to MARRY a virgin. You never know for sure what's going on inside the mind of another person. You don't have a crystal ball right? While YOU may think you're "positively" sure that you want to get married--you don't know for sure what's going on in his mind. People change their minds all the time and people do intentionally lie. How would you feel if you have sex today and break up 3 months from now? If your boyfriend truly loves you and truly wants to marry you, then he will be more than happy to wait. If he doesn't, then he will be impatient and try to lie to you to get what he wants for the moment. No bible versus needed for that one!
2007-12-27 08:31:35 · answer #3 · answered by Sondra 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The Bible states that only a married couple can have sex, as many times as they want. That means a person cannot have sex before marriage or outside of their marriage....period. There are NO exceptions.
Now, the real question you need to ask yourself is if you feel it's right or wrong to wait until marriage. You need to look inside of yourself to answer this question. You need to decide what is moral and important to You and your life.
The Bible is designed as a guide for your life. But you are allowed free choice and free will as long as your are an adult and mature enough to handle the responsibility of any consequences that may occur.
2007-12-27 07:20:01 · answer #4 · answered by Erica, AKA Stretch 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Marriage is when a husband and a wife are joined together by God to become one flesh. It is a sacred institution which is modeled after Christ's love for the Church. There are thus three parties involved...
Since God is love, and sex is supposed to be the ultimate exchange of love betwen a husband and a wife, the act itself has a divine aspect to it. It is both faithful and unending, just like Christ's love for the Church.
Sex outside of marriage cuts God out of the picture. You have not exchanged vows to each other; and there are no vows before God.
The act of sex is therefore cheapened; it becomes purely a carnal act -- like an animal, and it loses its spiritual aspect.
Note that you are not the only one that has struggled with this particular rule -- the rule is tough for almost everyone to follow. You have to have faith, however, that what God desires is not to oppress you; but to give you the greatest fulfillment.
2007-12-27 07:29:05 · answer #5 · answered by LuckyLavs 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I thought with every fiber of my being that I would have married the girl that was engaged to also. But 1 1/2 later, and a miscarriage we went seperate ways, now I'm married to someone totally different. But I always think of the one that was first, maybe if we did things different.
2007-12-27 07:51:20 · answer #6 · answered by colway 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's about the fact that sex is something you have no clue about. Its like herione, or cociane, in that it well become the relaitonship ESPACIALLY with you youngins. Your playing with fire, when you start talking about sex, its not just some fun thing you should be able to do. The reasoning is that, like you guys, most people are virgins when they get married. THEY NEED THE CONFINES OF THE MARRIAGE, because sex is more primitive then love, its rawer, its more primitive, its INSTINCT!!! And you youngins are not going to know what the heck your getting into, well till the jealousy, insecurities, and lack of good communication breck your lovly relationship apart. Sex isn't innocient fun, its only now that our society whats us to see it this way, and now we have a 50% divorce rate. Because people don't treat sex seriously. Its your life, but trust, the relationship will change the day you do this, and without the marriage, its going to be hard to say those changes will be for the better. This is a constant dilima in alot of relationships, but it comes down to one important point. You have no clue what the heck your getting into. Don't beleive me, keep fight with this, go have your sex, but realize, old brutal honesty, tried to warn you, its POWERFUL mojo....
2007-12-27 07:21:19 · answer #7 · answered by Brutal Honesty 7 · 3⤊ 2⤋
You sound so sure that you are going to marry your partner and you know about the "no sex before marriage" thing. I dont think it should be a problem for you.
The two of you need to make up your minds as to what is your guiding principle; the bible or your sexual urges. You both need from this early stage to agree and stand by your fundamental beliefs. I wish you both the best.
2007-12-27 07:25:30 · answer #8 · answered by tuns v 1 · 4⤊ 2⤋
BAsically the reason people get married (this is going back thousand of years)...is to procreate (have kids). So basically the bible frowns upon premarital sex, because
1. youre not supposed to use protection ( to have Kids)
2..and sex is meant for creating kids...
but how many people do you know are still virgins...I'm not saying to go out and screw the football team, but sex is very important in a marriage, if you dont like it, better to break up now, then get divorced....god forbid
2007-12-27 07:23:14 · answer #9 · answered by Leannamick 5 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Your question has a lot to do with morality and spirituality. I can't tell you what you want to hear. Sorry. But for me to sit here and tell you" Yeah, you are right...go for it" will be lying. You know deep inside what to do. If you are a christian, then this question really surprises me. Your book if full of verses that will tell you the truth about lascivious acts and fornication.
2007-12-27 07:19:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋